Finding Joy

We look but do we always see? We have many responsibilities in our daily lives, but to ignore the beauty in the moment, and to deny our senses pleasure and curiosity is a cruel blow to the soul. Every cell in your being screams for joy –- the question is, can you allow yourself to find it? You eat foods that nourish your body, you exercise to maintain your strength and health, but what gifts do you give to your spirit? Recently while giving a Reiki session to a cancer patient, she opened her eyes and with astonishing clarity and absolute knowing said “every moment is perfect.”  My client knows this truth, and yet we allow our very real and often messy problems of life interfere with our ability to “see” the truth and beauty that is abundant – everywhere – in the smallest of places.  If you, like many, have your stuff, and your money, and all the trappings of this material world, but still feel a sinking emptiness – there is a way to help yourself!  If you are mired in problems and feel hopeless, you too can find some pleasure – if you allow yourself this gift to the soul. Wake up. How, you may ask? I’ve included some nudges in this post that may inspire you to seek more joy, consciously. We are, as humans, pleasure-seeking creatures. Discover what really moves you. Find yourself-share yourself!

• Play. We must take time to fool around. We did this as kids why must we give this up?  Find your best childhood moments and surround yourself with people who have a similar playful spirit. Using your imagination even as we get older continues to create new neural pathways. Neural connections are good, brain atrophy is very bad! Your inner child is asking you to join her/him.
• Journaling. The act of recording moments of happiness seems to create joy for many people. Recording these moments enhances the experience and makes us better able to pay attention to even more potentially happy moments in the future. Who wouldn’t want to “schedule” more happiness. The art of journaling about what makes us happy shows us that even simple moments – like the sun streaming in the window on a still dewy day – can trump what we think are the “big” ones. Capture the moments.
• Master a new skill. Frustrating as this may be, learning a new skill makes us happier in the long run. It gives us a sense of mastery and accomplishment which boosts self-esteem. Learning  something new, and the novelty of that experience excites neural pleasure pathways increasing that feel good dopamine chemical.  Our brain loves neurotransmitters in abundance!
• Stuff doesn’t make us happy. However investing in new experiences may. We grow tired of our material possessions and they can always be replaced with newer shinier objects. However, a positive experience remains as good as your memory.
• Nurture with nature. Feel the earth, wiggle your toes, feel the air and grass beneath your feet, breathe the air, sit near water, find the sun, move against the wind, watch the movement of leaves on the trees and study the insects as they busy themselves. It’s really quite fun and informative!
• Discover scent and aromatherapy. Lavender and orange oil reduces stress responses in the nervous system because of a chemical called linalool which alters blood chemistry. I love Young Living Oils and you can research for yourself the many ways that essential oils can nourish your mind and body.
• Discover the wonders of your body. If you are of able body and have the will,  strengthen your body. I love the practice of yoga now, but remember the first ten times or so cursing my way through asana. Now I have not only great respect for the breathing, meditation, purifying and alignment aspects of yoga but I am kick-ass strong. Don’t mess with me! If yoga is not your thing, try kickboxing, strength training, whatever – just move and get strong. Give your body what it needs. Feel your way through it.
• Kindness. Practice this. Neuroscientists show that the frontal lobe lights up when we feel compassion and kindness. As well, Oxytocin, the hormone that flows when we feel connected, calms stress and enhances immune function. Touch is an amazing way to ignite compassion in yourself and others. Check out “loving kindness” meditation where we focus on kind thoughts while meditating. Touch someone today!
• Practice good will and give some stuff away. Give up things that you no longer need. The art of decluttering your life and giving to others feels good. Both aspects of cleansing and nurturing can be healing.  Better to give than receive.
• Quick walk to less tension. I always tell my clients that less can be more, and certainly better than nothing, especially when you’re in a funky rut.  A little bit of something, such as a ten minute walk, can do wonders to lift the spirit and make it possible for joy to find you.
• Make  joy-finding a priority. Many of my clients are “joy” deprived – seriously. We all are at times.  I often hear “well if I don’t take things seriously, then who will” I then say “what a burden for you!”  Our notion that hyper-vigilance keeps the boat afloat often doesn’t ring true. Things happen whether we stand guard or not. I’m not advocating becoming irresponsible, just lighten up a bit. Were you raised in an “anti-pleasure environment?” Did you hear “we must suffer or we are not noble?” It’s not too late for you to ” unlearn” that you need not suffer the rest of your years. Say goodbye to your family legacy of “anti joy.” You can learn to let in some light and life and make room for happiness. The details might just be in the small joys that you encounter when you give yourself permission to see, love, feel, touch and experience.

Watch less TV, spend more time with people who bring you joy, get more sleep, clean your house less, play more and write.

Kim Seelbrede is a psychotherapist, EMDR therapist and integrative therapist with a private practice in New York City. In her Manhattan therapy practice, Kim has experience addressing the following concerns: relationships, marital difficulties, divorce, parenting, career, professional performance enhancement, anxiety, panic disorder, OCD, depression, loss/grief, adolescent psychotherapy, underachievement, perfectionism, identity issues, LGBT, body image, eating disorders, addiction, substance abuse, sexuality, PTSD, trauma, stress reduction, transitions, life purpose, health concerns, women’s issues, therapy for men, pain management and wellness. Kim Seelbrede has advanced training in EMDR therapy and Brainspotting and uses it with clients who prefer to work in this way, or when she feels it is a technique that will be helpful for the client. Clients include CEOS, senior executives, entrepreneurs, financial analysts, performers and creative individuals with a focus on helping them identify and remove barriers to success and happiness. Kim Seelbrede offers adjunctive EMDR, meditation and yoga therapy to medical and mental health professionals in New York City. To learn more about her psychotherapy approach, visit her therapy website at www.kimseelbrede.com call 646.248.9196 or email.

Kim holds a master’s degree in social work from New York University (MSW) and received advanced post-graduate training inpsychodynamic psychotherapy and cognitive behavior therapy (CBT)  from New York University. Kim uses an eclectic approach which draws from attachment theory, object relations theory, self-psychology, ego-psychology, family systems, CBT, crisis counseling and solution-focused therapy with her clients as needed. Kim has pursued advanced education in the fields of psychology, wellness and complementary health care for nearly 10 years.  Kim draws from extensive education and life experiences including training from the Urban Zen Integrative Therapist Program (UZIT) during which she completed clinical rotations working directly with cancer and surgical patients at Hope Lodge and at Beth Israel Medical Center and has studied nutritional theories from leading experts in the field. Kim Seelbrede is an integrative healthcare blogger for the Urban Zen Foundation.

In her separate integrative therapy practice Kim Seelbrede works with healthy clients as well as clients facing and managing health challenges. Kim collaborates with health care providers and can provide support with the following techniques:  gentle yoga movement, restorative yoga poses, stress reduction, breath awareness (pranayama), controlled breathing techniques, guided imagery, meditation, nutrition, essential oil treatment (aromatherapy), Reiki, life coaching and contemplative care. All of these unique integrative therapy modalities provide a gentle and balanced approach to the following concerns:  pain, anxiety, nausea, insomnia, digestive issues, fatigue and serious chronic illness. Please email or call Kim 646.248.9196 with questions or to arrange a consultation in her Manhattan office. For more information about her holistic integrative therapy practice visit her at www.nyintegrativetherapy.com  follow Kim Seelbrede’s psychology, yoga and health-related tweets on Twitter or friend her onFacebook.

Kim Seelbrede offers adjunctive EMDR, meditation and yoga therapy to medical and mental health professionals in New York City.