I love the quote by John Gottman "every positive thing you do in your relationship is foreplay" -- it just makes so much sense doesn't it? (It's available on a tee shirt by the way in case you and your honey needs the occasional reminder, it's also a good mantra!) If you've landed on this page, perhaps you're interested in having more in your relationship than just good communication and conflict resolution. You want something solid -- even juicy -- a relationship that keeps you engaged and in growth and awe. Having a lasting, satisfying marriage requires a bit more work than just learning to communicate and manage conflict. The majority of couples therapies focus on the "conflict system" vs the "friendship system," the latter is the building block for passion, intimacy and great sex. Friendship system -- yes, new concept perhaps -- but it makes sense on so many levels doesn't it? But how well do you know your partner, and are you really friends(not talking roommates here)? Not that it's not important to help couples manage problems and resolve differences, but having a marriage that thrives and continues to build involves strengthening the foundation of the relationship. This includes helping couples create shared purpose as they build their lives together. With a focus only on conflict and communication, couples tend to terminate therapy without the other very important goodies and learned skills that are likely to make the relationship stronger. You must, absolutely must, make deposits in the relationship bank on a regular basis.Read More
NYC + Santa Fe Psychotherapist, Kim Seelbrede, MSW, LCSW is a Licensed Psychotherapist, EMDR Therapist, Relationship Expert + Stress/Anxiety Coach who provides Psychological Consultations in-person and online psychotherapy working with individuals and couples. Specialties include: trauma, addictions, anxiety, depression, relationships, creative, VIP + high-profile clients. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, travel and pie. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal website www.kimseelbrede.com or blog.