Posts tagged coping skills
Self-Care :: Support For Traumatic Stress + Loss

Whether you're struggling to manage challenging life-events, a trauma or accident, loss and grief or any kind of transition that causes you distress or destabilization, it's helpful to understand that your feelings, emotions and behaviors are a normal reaction to extreme or disturbing events. As a psychotherapist who uses EMDR therapy, supportive work and a focus on helping clients develop healthier coping skills, I'm happy to share tips to support you as you move through difficult times. What helps?

  • Allow yourself to acknowledge and accept that you're experiencing something difficult and that your reactions are normal, but that you can manage. Remind yourself about how you've handled difficult situations in the past. What healthy skills did you call upon previously to help you cope during stressful times?
  • Ask for help. This is hard for many, but people can be quite kind when it comes to supporting others. This also requires that you allow yourself to receive help and manage feelings of shame related to needing help.
  • Take exquisite care of yourself, when you can. Show self-compassion and practice self-care. Giving yourself permission for a "time out" can help you feel stronger and more resilient
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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Five Minutes Closer To Relaxation, Creativity + Enhanced Intuition

Some days are better than others, this we know! If you are able, just for a few minutes, drop the "I should be doing..." and try these simple mindfulness tips to ease your way on those less-than-ideal days...

Remember:  Attention and gratitude...

On the difficult days notice how capable and sturdy your body is. You've made it through these days before. You would be helped to remember that you can do it again. You are resilient and still here. Perhaps you haven't slept, your body feels weak and yet it continues to serve you. Show gratitude and respect for the parts of your self, both physical and emotional, that feel overwhelmed or weakened. Despite your struggle, you may notice how your mind and body works to maintain balance. You've survived and even thrived on the tough days before. Your mind and body is competent and able -- it's designed to push through strain and it even compensates in some interesting ways. Breathe and rest as you can throughout the day needed moments of restoration. 

Remember: Ground yourself...

Feel your feet planted firmly on the ground. Notice the gentle support of the chair beneath you as you place your hands on your thighs and just breathe. Continue to notice any sensations as your feet connect to the earth. As you go about your day, however busy it may be, you can still practice this simple mindfulness exercise. Direct your focus to the sensation of your heels as they touch the ground, notice the space between the ground and the arch of your foot and then your toes as they make contact with the ground. Stillness is not the best solution for some, especially those with high anxiety or individuals who struggle to tolerate sensations in the body. Meditation and yoga experts often fail some clients by

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Observe Your Thoughts And Reduce Anxiety: DBT Skills For Life

Find a comfortable spot to sit, either seated or lying down. Take a moment to focus on softening your body and releasing any tension in your shoulders. Close your eyes.

Focus your attention on your breathing. Observe what it feels like to be "in" your body, in this moment, as you slowly breath in and then breathe out.  As you spend a few minutes here, Imagine that you are “riding the wave” of your own breath. You feel safe.

Next, shift your attention to your thoughts. Begin to notice your thoughts. They are just thoughts. Nothing to do in this moment but

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

The Intuitive Nudge To Take Care Of You: Tuning In And Honoring

It's okay, and I give you permission to TAKE CARE OF YOU. What follows are some simple tips to help you become better at recognizing your own needs and when you could benefit from giving yourself a generous dose of love, compassion and self-care. Listen to your body sensations, feelings, emotions and the intuitive nudge, or that “gut” feeling that may whisper and even scream “you need more care right now.”

  • FIND JOY IN THE ORDINARY. Not everything needs your time and attention at every moment. But sometimes, the small, simple, precious things matter and make our lives rich and extraordinary. Cultivate a gratitude practice for the things that you may take advantage of, but that may actually give your life extraordinary meaning. 
  • FORGIVE YOURSELF WHEN YOU DON’T GET SOMETHING DONE. A balanced life requires flexibility and the ability to make changes as needed. Are you setting yourself up for depletion, exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed by unreasonable demands and scheduling? What can you let go of without punishing yourself?
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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Are You Involved With A Narcissist Or An Emotional Grown-Up?

Do you think or know that you have a narcissist in your life? If so, you are likely to have your share of questions about how to identify, manage, escape from, and avoid future entanglements with narcissistic people. As a psychotherapist, I work with couples and individuals who present with many symptoms of narcissistic abuse or describe patterns of emotional abuse in their primary relationships. It's heartbreaking to come to the realization that years, and even decades, have been spent under the rule of a tyrannical parent or partner. Parents, bosses and partners with narcissistic personality disorder or strong traits have the potential to powerfully and negatively impact your physical and emotional health and wellbeing. You may be traumatized, numb and shut-down from past experiences with family members. You may also find yourself repeating this pattern in your current relationships by seeking out narcissistic partners. And so the neurotic dance of

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

#shrinkthinks - Using GIVE To Have Effective Relationships

GIVE is a helpful mnemonic device borrowed from DBT treatment that helps people have better, more effective communication and enhances relationships. If you struggle with social problems and staying in the conversation, give this a try...

  1. Gentle - Have a gentle manner even if you are upset or angry. The goal is to treat people with kindness and respect. Always.
  2. Interested - Strive to be interested in what other people say. When you make an effort to really listen, appropriate eye contact and nodding will help others feel that you are attending to them. 
  3. Validate - Use the technique of reflecting back what others say. This helps them feel validated when they share their thoughts and feelings. But be authentic, really try to identify with what they are sharing.
  4. Easy Manner - Show an easy manner when communicating. This is difficult when you struggle with social anxiety, dissociation or other problems, but try to ground yourself and maintain awareness of your body posture, the tone of your voice, the volume as you speak, as examples.

I would also add that making observations instead of judgments is a good strategy always as it relates to effective and healthier communications. Learn more about NVC or Non-Violent Communication here. Shoot me an email if you find this helpful!

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

DBT Skills: Get What You Want And Need Using D-E-A-R-M-A-N

D-E-A-R M-A-N is a mnemonic device developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan and is an important aspect of DBT treatment or Dialectical Behavior Therapy. What's the goal of this clever tool? It was developed to help people remember to use effective communication as a means to have healthier relationships and to get needs met in a healthy manner. If we are to have healthy, satisfying relationships, it is important to feel capable and competent in our interactions with others. Good communication includes feeling understood and that our expectations can be met. When communication is not clear and effective, relationships suffer leading to misunderstandings, unmet needs and resentment. How can DBT 

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

#shrinkthinks - Positive Self-Talk For Hard Times

Remember this...

I can get through this because I’ve managed before and I can now!

#shrinkthinks

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

#shrinkthinks - What Are You Really Feeling?

You sigh a weary "I feel fat today," but fat is NOT a feeling!

What are you FEELING? 

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

About Asperger's Syndrome: When Diagnosis Can Actually Help

Asperger's Syndrome or AS shows up differently in individuals and is often missed or over-diagnosed in the mental health field. Previously, AS was the label for a pervasive developmental disorder at the highest end of the autism spectrum, and now recently, AS has been dropped and is recognized as part of the autistic spectrum or Autism Spectrum Disorder ASD. Many clinicians stick with the old because it seems more useful. Some of the characteristics expressed by Aspies are as follows:

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.