Posts tagged holiday stress
Holiday Chaos Survival Tips For Couples :: Because Murder Is Not An Option

As a therapist who enjoys providing marriage and couples therapy, I've made the observation that partners struggle to work as a team during the busy, stress-filled and conflict-ridden holiday season. Feeling torn with competing interests such as family needs, travel and extra demands on time and energy can bring many to exasperation and exhaustion. If you tend to suffer because of your "people pleasing" nature and an inability to say NO, protecting your boundaries or creating healthy boundaries for yourself (perhaps you're new at this?) can be a real challenge.

Don't suffer in silence, or loudness. Many couples and partners enter marriage and family counseling after the holiday season because they feel disconnected, hurt and misunderstood, in addition to a range of other experiences, including losing once-enjoyed intimacy. Being in the company of family and friends can trigger feelings of resentment, reignite old wounds as well as highlight family of origin issues--leaving even high-functioning couples feeling de-skilled and in need of help to sort through the chaos.  

So, how do you reconnect after fighting, communication problems and hurt feelings? Having some simple tools at your ready can help you avoid the downward spiral. What follows are

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

#shrinkthinks DBT Quick Reference :: Holiday Survival Skills For Anxiety, Addiction Triggers, Emotions And Problem Behaviors

Many of my psychotherapy patients ask for a Dialectical Behavior Therapy or a DBT cheat-sheet to have handy because... life happens, it's easy to feel overwhelmed, and it's hard to remember what to during those challenging moments! This is a basic list to remind you that you DO have other options at your disposal to help you better manage your relationship problems, trauma symptoms, addiction and eating disorder triggers, anxiety, depression, self-harm urges, relationship challenges, stress and strong emotions. With the holiday season comes lots of stress--and with no shortage of emotional triggers--people struggle with: alcohol and food in abundance, family stressors and memories that reignite feelings of anger, loss, sadness, longing and loneliness.

Even though situations and stressors are present, DBT can help you make healthier choices for yourself! A good place to start is to remember to focus, breathe and be mindful. When the skills don't work

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Holiday Depression: Tips To Manage Your Mood

It's THAT Time of year, and it's not joyous for everyone. In fact, for many, it can be loaded with messy feelings and powerful memories. Are you dealing with depression that seems to get worse during the holidays? It's that time of year, and with it brings that demand energy to be happy. Family, friends, fellow employees and unrealistic media images makes it hard for someone managing depression to cope. Whether it's a history of clinical depression, the longer days of winter, past events, or memories of loved-ones lost that contribute to your seasonal sadness, getting through the holidays is a struggle. What are some typical problems that people with depression face during the holiday season?

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Calm Discussions, Cool Heads

Couples, whether romantic or those working with others in partnerships and other kinds of relationship dyads often need skills and tips on how to enter a discussion, and the best strategies for keeping it calm and ultimately successful. While the goal might be to be heard, make a point, right a wrong or solve a problem, many conversations devolve into screaming matches or people end up blowing things up out of frustration, rage or an inability to say "I can't do this right now." At this point, everyone is nowhere. This may be especially helpful as the holidays are just around the corner, which means stress, stress and a sprinkle (or large dose) of family and workplace trauma and drama. Here are some tips on how to keep important discussions from spiraling out of control.

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

#shrinkthinks - It's A New Day
Every day (or moment) is an opportunity for a fresh start. 

Whatever dynamic you find yourself playing out with yourself, a loved-one or a work colleague, pause, notice it and hit the reset button.  Fresh start. Notice what you're doing by making a non-judgmental observation. "Oh, this is happening again -- familiar stuff -- I'm feeling triggered!" Perhaps your triggering the other and the dance begins. Shift. Take some space if you need to. The point is... do something different. Don't engage or allow yourself to be pulled-in -- as tempting as it may be -- and stop the bleeding in the moment. This tactic is especially helpful with couples and during the frenetic holiday season. Time spent with family can increase levels of stress, feelings get hurt and destructive behaviours may escalate. (alcohol doesn't help folks!) People tend to regress in response to stress and old patterns -- early dynamics are played out -- in full force. The image of two tarantulas in a jar comes to mind.

It's a new day.
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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.