Posts tagged interpersonal effectiveness
Push Away, Pull Closer

Do you push people away, and if so, do you know what it is that you do, and why? Chances are, you might not be aware that you do this. Generally done out of fear, it's easier to tolerate ending it, before you are rejected, or hurt someone else before they hurt you. Often, this behavior is unconscious, or you may have some awareness that you do this. When you push others away you guarantee that you will be alone. You also miss out on important and possibly rich opportunities by avoiding potential pain that may or may not ever happen. Your life can improve by becoming aware of this reflexive and habitual pattern.  

  1. Think of ONE thing that you do that pushes people away.
  2. Think of ONE thing that you do that draws people closer.
Read More

Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

#shrinkthinks - Interpersonal Effectiveness

If you WANT something, you may actually have to ASK for it!

Read More

Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Calm Discussions, Cool Heads

Couples, whether romantic or those working with others in partnerships and other kinds of relationship dyads often need skills and tips on how to enter a discussion, and the best strategies for keeping it calm and ultimately successful. While the goal might be to be heard, make a point, right a wrong or solve a problem, many conversations devolve into screaming matches or people end up blowing things up out of frustration, rage or an inability to say "I can't do this right now." At this point, everyone is nowhere. This may be especially helpful as the holidays are just around the corner, which means stress, stress and a sprinkle (or large dose) of family and workplace trauma and drama. Here are some tips on how to keep important discussions from spiraling out of control.

Read More

Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

DBT Skills: Get What You Want And Need Using D-E-A-R-M-A-N

D-E-A-R M-A-N is a mnemonic device developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan and is an important aspect of DBT treatment or Dialectical Behavior Therapy. What's the goal of this clever tool? It was developed to help people remember to use effective communication as a means to have healthier relationships and to get needs met in a healthy manner. If we are to have healthy, satisfying relationships, it is important to feel capable and competent in our interactions with others. Good communication includes feeling understood and that our expectations can be met. When communication is not clear and effective, relationships suffer leading to misunderstandings, unmet needs and resentment. How can DBT 

Read More

Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

About Dialectical Behavior Therapy Or DBT

Marsha M. Linehan developed  DBT in the 1990s to treat chronically suicidal and self-injurious individuals who she viewed as having pervasive emotion dysregulation or significant difficulty regulating their emotions. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a specialized form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that balances acceptance and change. Cognitive Behavioral change strategies are blended with Eastern practices including mindfulness and meditation. The ability to apply DBT skills to other problems has broadened and has now been proven effective to treat a wide range of issues.

Read More

Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.