Practice the imaginal technique of holding the desire to act out or do something that you know doesn't serve you in one hand (left hand: I really want to have that third drink because I'm out and having so much fun with friends) and the consequences in the other hand (right hand: three drinks turns into seven and then I'm sloppy drunk-texting former lovers, or worse!). This is your imagination, so really hold them in your hand -- feel the weight, color and texture of these two very different actions. Remember this applies to many things, like food, shopping and other reckless behaviors, impulses or compulsive behaviors. Try this:
Doing (fill in the blanks) only helps or feels good for a short amount of time, but then it just makes things worse later. I can say no, or cope without it for another hour because the consequences suck! One hour at a time.
You can also write this down, two columns on a sheet of paper, and tuck it away in your wallet. Pull it out as needed.
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.