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truth and beauty

#shrinkthinks - How To Use FAST To Gain Self Respect In Relationships

FAST is a wonderful mnemonic device to help you gain enhanced self-respect and increased self-esteem as you negotiate easy and even the more challenging interpersonal situations that you may encounter in your daily life. It's borrowed from the truly awesome DBT treatment and here's how it goes...

  1. Fair - Be fair when you negotiate. Make sure that you accurately interpret situations. When working with others, one goal may be to come to solutions that are ethical and benefit everyone involved.
  2. Apologies - No, do not apologize for disagreeing because doing that contradicts your values. You have a right to your opinion and viewpoint. This is about being true to yourself because you gotta learn to love you.
  3. Stick - Stick to your values. Boldly. Not sure what your values are? Work with a therapist, coach, trusted friend or parent to help you get clear about where you stand on things. Never soften on your values to make others happy or to gain their favor. This erodes your sense of self.
  4. Truthful - Be truthful when you communicate. Authenticity and honesty helps you feel better about yourself, which leads to a happier and more authentic life. Again, this is hard if you're a people pleaser, but people will respect you more, and you'll love yourself for it. 

Stay tuned for more #shrinkthinks and DBT self-help.

Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York licensed Psychotherapist and Consultant with extensive training and experience. She provides pscyhological consultation, therapy and coaching to a range of clients including high-profile clients, working in-person, online and worldwide. As an EMDR therapist, couples therapist + women's emotional health expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief, creative, VIP + high-profile clients. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, travel and really good key lime pie. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal website or blog.