Posts in Heal
Voices :: Quieting The Harsh Inner Critic

“What will others think of me?” While some voices are kinder than others, we are most often hijacked by the messages received during the developmental years. The lingering voices, that harsh critic in our head, and the demands of other peoples' expectations prevents us from leading an authentic, fulfilling and heart-centered life. As a therapist trained to help clients “dig a little deeper,” we frequently bump up against the internalized messages, as well as the projections and expectations of other people. We are, all of us, an integration of human and experiential influences, the sum of our experiences contributes to the creation of self. But we can become fuller and more enlivened by learning to differentiate between “voices of the past” and the desires (and reality) of “now” and our true essence, before we collided with all the noise.

When trying to move forward or make important decisions, we often make choices that are weighed heavily by the needs and expectations of others—it is a familiar and reflexive process, and happens without our full awareness.  We confuse these voices as our own. They may come from a parent who says “you can’t,” “you shouldn’t” or “who do you think you are?” The harsh critic may once have had a purpose, keeping us safe for instance, but is now, no longer necessary. The voice that once warned you not to upset a parent or teacher remains as that lingering message… you “aren’t enough,” you “don’t matter” and “don’t deserve” what you desire. You may have even foreclosed on your dreams long ago, or never felt that discovery and imagining yourself in the future was even an option. I regularly observe adult clients saying, “but my wife won’t let me” as an example of how this model gets recreated with significant others in the here and now. Since it may not be possible to confront those voices taking up precious space in your head from the past directly (because you were young and it wasn’t safe), you can now begin to challenge them by giving yourself permission to differentiate between then and now, and dis-identify with those lingering messages from the past, and begin connecting to, and awakening your own will. Maybe “I can do this” is your new reality, and you can re-write your script.

The voices and foreclosure keep you paralyzed and stuck in the past and unable to change or move forward. You may feel adrift and lost. You may live with regret or the sense that choices made

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Concierge Therapy + Coaching :: Focused, Individualized Help For Stress, Crisis And Psychological Concerns

As a New York City-based licensed Psychotherapist & Consultant, and trauma-focused therapist, I provide concierge psychological care for patients who find themselves in situations where they need a more robust form of help and support. if your public profile, personal or work status, lifestyle or schedule do not allow you to seek typical psychotherapy in a therapy suite, then concierge therapy and coaching is your best option for receiving one-on-one psychological care. I specialize in working with high-profile professionals and also provide trauma-informed therapy and consultation for individuals, couples and their families. To learn more, send me an email with “concierge” in the subject line.

Whatever the challenge (e.g. intense anxiety or stress, addiction and substance use or abuse, career or personal crisis, transitions, health concerns, amongst other issues), I take a dynamic, focused and comprehensive approach to helping you through whatever circumstances you may be facing. Together, we will determine your needs and develop a treatment plan to help you move forward. I am able to collaborate with other professionals if this is an approach that is helpful.

Confidentiality, flexibility to meet busy schedules, and extensive training and experience, together we work to create individualized care that meets your needs and schedule using a secure and encrypted online platform that ensures confidentiality and privacy for individuals who require high levels of discretion.

Because I’m an integrative practitioner, I don’t adhere to a single psychological philosophy, but rather, I am able to incorporate a range of therapeutic techniques in our work together which ensures more successful healing and supportive outcomes. Some modalities include: Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, Relational Therapy, CBT, DBT Skills, EMDR Therapy, Somatic Experiencing Techniques, Focusing-Oriented Therapy, Specialized Couples Techniques, Mindfulness and

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Beginning Therapy :: Sometimes You Feel Worse Before You Feel Better

You’ve finally found a therapist that you trust, you’re opening up, being honest about the parts of yourself and areas of your life that could use some help. You may actually feel better—validated, stronger and more confident. Someone finally “gets” you. There is some relief in feeling less alone with your problems. If you ask people new to therapy how they feel, you may get different responses. Many feel better, get some relief, and then stop therapy. Some individuals notice after they begin therapy that they feel worse than before. Therapists don’t advertise the latter, but they should tell you that psychotherapy and counseling can kick up some uncomfortable feelings and emotions, initially, and from time to time. You may also notice that your friends and family are not so delighted with the new YOU. This wasn’t supposed to happen, and it doesn’t always, but often, it does! It’s a pretty common occurrence when people begin to change as a result of therapy and those closest to you are less than delighted.

People liked you the way you were, and now you’ve made some changes. You’ve rewritten the script, so to speak. You may be more assertive, or communicate your needs more effectively. Heck, you may have expressed needs for the first time in your life. This is inconvenient for those invested in the old you.

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Psychodynamic Psychotherapy :: What The Heck Is It?

You’ve decided to finally get some help for the parts of your life that feels messy, but now you’re really confused as you sift through the many pages of available therapists on sites such as Psychology Today. Smiling therapists offering so many different paths to help and healing and some techniques have really strange names, like, “psychodynamic psychotherapy.” Sounds a bit scary, and clinical and even sterile, but it’s actually a really helpful treatment option for some problems. I’ll explain briefly.

A therapist practicing psychodynamic psychotherapy or psychoanalytic psychotherapy means that they do work that helps you understand yourself deeply. The goal is insight and self-awareness into why you do what you do, or keep repeating patterns and dynamics that interfere with having the life that you desire.It involves a bit of deep digging to unearth these behavior patterns but so worth it. Because much of what we do is unconscious, we live in a way that leads to habitual patterns and repetition. The fancy word for this is “repetition compulsion” which is a neurotic style that we engage in. This may eventually lead to frustration and certainly a lack of agency of your life. In psychodynamic therapy, you will begin to notice these patterns and behaviors that are driving you so that you can grow and live your life in a way that is intentional and conscious, not driven by the voices of the past, the many

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Guilt Or Shame :: How To Know The Difference

People often confuse guilt with shame. They are complex states, and as a therapist who works with both men and women, shame seems particularly hard for men feel vulnerable enough to identify. And women cover shame in some interesting ways as well. So what are the differences between the two? Guilt is an experience that we have related to something we may have done. “I feel really lousy about my behavior last night, and I’d like to make it better with us.” When we experience guilt, we come to terms with a behavior or problem and work to correct it. Some people don’t actually experience guilt for many reasons, but we can save that for another post.

Shame is complicated and the road to recovery is not so easy. Shame also goes hand in hand with secrecy and sometimes even isolation and despair. People can feel very alone with their shame. Shame reactions, when unmanageable, can even drive some to suicide. Many deal with shame by punishing themselves. Often an individual may have identified with the voices of important others in their development—a parent who projects, or individuals who have been bullied, scapegoated or shamed by others. Some people are sensitive and will “carry” the shame of the family. Therapists see this often.

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

I'm An Introvert, And This Is What I've Learned

As an introvert, mostly what I've learned is that I am enough, just as I am. Yep, I'd rather be reading next to my sweetheart or hiking in nature than screaming small talk at an event. After reading Susan Cain's book Quiet some time ago, I've made peace with my previously-tortured, introverted "self" who frequently self-flagellated for feeling freakishly abnormal and ashamed that people, noise and extended social interactions left me seeking refuge in the nearest bathroom or quiet and solitude for days.

A few years ago, I was at a psychoanalytic event for eating disorders, chatting and doing my best at small-talking with other therapists. it was hot, bright and crowded! I found myself hugging the wall for comfort. I politely excused myself and rather frequently, to seek some space. At some point, a colleague looked at me, and rather intensely asked "do you have an eating disorder because you keep leaving? I do not, but I wanted to spill and say, "no, I'm actually an introvert and need to escape NOW because I’m feeling overwhelmed." Instead, I simply apologized and stated that I had some "phone calls to return." We are a society and culture that values extroversion—quiet people are often misunderstood, undervalued and asked to have qualities that they do not naturally possess. Faking being anything other than your true, authentic self comes at a price. 

I've since developed a great deal of acceptance and self-compassion for the way my brain and nervous system is wired, and as a result, how I need to function in the world. I make efforts to create situations that support my needs whenever I can. It is sometimes a challenge for me to make plans for next month or even a week from now, because I'm not sure how I'll feel on that day. Will I be able to rally for an event or social gathering when I need those resources the most? I've learned to embrace my brain differences, and have acceptance for my own needs. This includes my need for personal space, my need to retreat or create boundaries, and especially my need for recovery after extended social contact--it's a brain thing.

As it turns out, we now know that introverts need time to recharge and recover sometimes by

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Healing From Trauma :: Reclaim Your Identity

Traumatic experiences change the brain and it does so in an effort to protect us from future negative experiences. However, trauma and its symptoms do not have to hold us in its grip forever. As you continue to think, talk, re-tell and act on your experience(s), you reinforce your attachment to what happened, which exacerbates your symptoms and you loop on the upsetting memory and trauma responses. 

The body is designed to heal. We now know that the brain has an amazing capacity to heal by creating new neural pathways. This process is called neuroplasticity. When people are finally able to regain control over their thoughts, behaviors, responses and lives, the brain's limbic system, parasympathetic and vagus nerve system can normalize. 

Unfortunately, most who have suffered trauma want to heal, and yet struggle with allowing and accepting feeling "well" and "whole." This seems counterintuitive, however the underlying instinct is to remain vigilant as if the nervous system signals that it is "unsafe” to heal and be well. If one relaxes into safety and wellness, then

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Therapist Or Coach :: What's The Difference?

When you are feeling stuck, overwhelmed or challenged by a particular situation, or life in general, you may be considering seeking professional help. There are so many available and effective choices to help you move forward with your life and in your online research, you may have stumbled upon outstanding sites such as Psychology Today. It is likely that you also feel overwhelmed with the many options--therapy, mentoring, life coaching, relationship support and groups for example. It's also important to understand your needs at this point in your life. Are you stuck deep in the mud, or are you perched and just about ready to take flight but in need of a little support?  

Whether your struggles are recent or longstanding, you may be challenged by many of the following: low self-esteem, depression, severe anxiety, residual trauma(s), family of origin issues, addictions, eating disorders, intense emotions and relationship struggles. When you're managing any of the above, it makes it very difficult, if not impossible to move forward using the help of the life coaching strategies that require action and accountability. Coaching is an elegant model for individuals who are healthy enough or who have resolved obstacles and conflicts that enable them to feel strong, deserving and able to receive

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

EMDR Therapy :: A Brief Explanation

EMDR Therapy or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a highly-successful and powerful healing technique that very effectively helps people who suffer from anxiety, panic, chronic sadness, negative self-concepts, trauma, disturbing memories and thoughts, PTSD or post traumatic stress and many other emotional problems. Until recently, psychotherapists and psychologists have used some combination of talk therapy and CBT in their efforts to help people overcome distress and suffering. While nothing beats the support of another human who is able to listen and be present during suffering, many of these traditional techniques do not resolve client symptoms or support healing at the level of the nervous system in the way that EMDR does. EMDR is considered a breakthrough therapy because of its ability to bring quick and lasting relief for most types of emotional distress. 

EMDR therapy uses bilateral stimulation, right/left eye movement, or tactile stimulation which activates opposite sides of the brain. As troubling images, feelings and self-concepts are processed by the brain using bilateral eye-movement patterns, resolution of the issues

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Depression :: What's New And What Helps

It's the time of year when individuals vulnerable to mood difficulties begin to experience symptoms of depression. Therapists who treat depression and anxiety see an increase in requests for psychotherapy evaluations and treatment as the days become shorter and there is less available sunlight. If you're considering medication for depression, you've likely tried other things including: psychotherapy or talk therapy, exercise, sunlight, anti-inflammatory diets, supplements (SAMe, St John's Wort), extra B vitamins, fish oil and meditation or mindfulness, yet you're still struggling with symptoms. Depression is a complicated matter because there are many reasons people become depressed and different expressions of depression including: major depression, seasonal affective disorder (SAD), reactive depression, bipolar disorder, psychotic depression, premenstrual dysphoric disorder and postpartum depression, as examples.  

Because depression can be a challenge to treat, it's unlikely that one form of treatment will address all the symptoms of depression. For instance, individuals with a milder form of depression may respond positively to lifestyle changes such as exercising several times a week, yoga, meditation, supplements for brain and gut health, dietary changes, education about depression, connecting with friends and families and taking steps to avoid isolation. Working with a depression expert can help you develop skills to cope better, in addition to the connection that you develop with another human during the psychotherapy hour. Counseling

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

EMDR THERAPY FOR LASTING HEALING :: RESOLVING SEXUAL, EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE

The recent presidential election and divisiveness has activated and triggered many individuals who have unresolved trauma(s). As a Psychotherapist and trauma therapist with a private practice in New York City, I can share that many men and women have sought counseling to deal with trauma symptoms that have recently surfaced as a result of the accusations of sexual assault and boundary violations revealed during this recent election cycle. Clients state that they now feel empowered and sufficiently supported by others and the community at large to begin to tell their personal stories of rape, assault, boundary violations and inappropriate behaviors. Some have never shared their stories--not with trusted friends or even family members. For many, being in the presence of another, to receive their experience, help hold their fear and terror and help sort out confusion and reality can be extremely healing. Some who have suffered in silence will need more support. EMDR therapy is a therapy modality that can successfully heal these experiences from a neurological standpoint, as well as reduce the impact of painful memories, distorted self-concepts and further support healing the body. 

Many patients seek EMDR therapy following slow progress with traditional psychotherapy or when they feel they have not benefitted from traditional talk therapy, hypnosis or CBT. As a licensed psychotherapist in New York City, EMDR has become my technique of choice to treat a variety of concerns. After years of integrating it into my practice, I've experienced extraordinary success

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

ADDICTIONS, COMPULSIONS & ALCOHOL TREATMENT USING EMDR THERAPY

There are many forms of treatment that successfully help clients heal from addictions, compulsions, anxiety, unhealthy relationship dynamics, self-esteem problems and other behavior difficulties. Some of the most helpful therapies include: CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, DBT or Dialectical Behavior Therapy, interpersonal psychotherapy, 12 Step programs and body-oriented therapies such as Somatic Experiencing (SE) and EMDR Therapy. As an integrative psychotherapist, I have great respect for these psychotherapy modalities, and have had real success using some combination with my own clients. I find EMDR therapy to be the most effective form of therapy to address alcohol use, substance and behavioral addictions, compulsions, eating disorders and any underlying traumas that may have contributed to using substances and maintaining these behaviors. 

Dr. Robert Miller developed a protocol called the Feeling State Addictions Protocol or FSAP that uses EMDR therapy to focus on a very important piece of alcohol and other addictions. Pleasure. Mainly, that people rely on substances or behaviors because of the intense positive feeling it gave them initially and continues

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Eating Disorders :: Mindfulness Or Distractions--What Works Best

As a therapist who treats clients with Eating Disorders, I am constantly reminded of the need for an integrative treatment approach and psychotherapy that addresses the complexities that ED's present for clients. Does Mindfulness help or hinder eating disorder recovery? The best answer may be that it depends on the nature of the eating disorder, and the stage of treatment. This is a much-debated topic within the ED treatment community.

Mindfulness, in addition to DBT Skills can be incredibly helpful for patients and clients in recovery, and in many aspects of their lives, especially when trying to manage powerful emotions and regulate mood. Some clients have reported that attempts at mindfulness early in recovery, especially during meals, creates intolerable anxiety and distress that interferes with the process of eating. Clients with Anorexia Nervosa find that distraction is the most helpful way to eat. "Thinking" about what's being consumed and eaten in early ED recovery is described as excruciating by clients. Distraction allows them to "pair" an enjoyable activity with mealtime, which is a very different experience than meals with the demand that they be "mindful" of excruciating feelings of fullness and any other sensations.

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

#shrinkthinks On EMDR :: Voice Of The Patient

If you're curious about how EMDR psychotherapy can help you resolve trauma, negative experiences and other challenges, please enjoy this short YouTube video that includes the voices of clients who now experience freedom and hope as a result of their EMDR treatment. Not just for trauma resolution, EMDR psychotherapy is an effective treatment for a variety of concerns including: eating disorders, addictions, compulsions, phobias, guilt, depression, anxiety, shame, negative self-concept, performance problems, self-sabotage, feeling "stuck" and more. You can learn about EMDR, or find an EMDR therapist by visiting EMDRIA and by watching this video.

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

EMDR Therapy :: Getting "Unstuck" And Healing The Nervous System

As a psychotherapist and coach in Manhattan, I treat clients with a range of concerns from stress and life challenges to recovery from addictions and trauma. Many have suffered developmental trauma(s) or single incident trauma and now have symptoms of PTSD which impacts many aspects of their lives, including personal relationships and work. In order to understand EMDR, one needs to be clear about how trauma can affect the brain.

When an individual experiences a traumatic event or multiple traumas they may develop what is known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD as a response to the overwhelming event(s). When this occurs, the brain fails to successfully process the trauma leaving it "stuck" or "frozen" in the central nervous system. This often leads to numbness, dissociation, severe anxiety, depression, insomnia, addictions, physical complaints and an inability to experience "safety." In everyday life, in the "here and now," the body fails to recognize that the person is now "safe" and it reacts as though the danger is current and in present time, leaving the individual in a state of emotional and physical arousal.

EMDR therapy as a treatment is unique because it facilitates the processing of trauma information that has become "stuck" in the central nervous system. The various elements

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

#shrinkthinks DBT DIY :: Making A Distress Tolerance Kit For Healthier Coping

Whether you're trying to manage eating disorder symptoms or alcohol/substance abuse problems, creating a "coping skills" toolbox--a place to keep things that can help you feel calmer and more grounded is a practical and helpful tactic in supporting your recovery goals. Instead of using symptoms and negative behaviors, turning to your toolbox can give you other options that immediately engage your five senses and include healthier distractions, self-soothing strategies and making different choices in the moment!

TOOLBOX TIPS

What you will need for your self-regulation and coping toolbox:

  • Tactile (something to feel) - textures, warm or cold objects, stuffed animal, stress ball, the ground beneath your feet

  • Visual (something to see or look at) - flowers, photos, art, vivid colors

  • Auditory (something to hear) - music, focusing on sounds in the environment, meditation guides, books on tape

  • Olfactory (something to smell) - essential oils, perfume, candles

  • Gustatory (something to taste) - gum, mints, sweet or sour candies

DISTRACTION TIPS

How to Distract yourself when you have the urge to reward yourself in negative ways or when you have self-destructive urges:

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Rejection, Failure And Success :: What keeps you up at night?

Do you feel trapped by your anxiety and chronic worry. Most of us do from time to time. The subject of fear comes up often in psychotherapy sessions and manifests in a range of behaviors, from complete paralysis to counter-phobic reactions. Fear and a certain amount of anxiety can be your friend especially when the fear of a particular outcome becomes a motivating factor. For example, the thought of failing is enough to help many work to their potential.

This also comes at a cost when we use guilt, shame and fear as a way to launch ourselves towards a goal. Don't be quick to use fear as a motivating factor. Fear is heavy, dense energy. It's best to stay focused on the positive outcome, specifically, what you actually want for yourself and your life. That said, don't sweep it under the rug. It's likely to come out in some other less-than-tidy way. Learning to identify your fears can be incredibly liberating. The act of naming something takes away its power. Then visualize and hold in your awareness different positive outcomes. Mental rehearsing—what you would like to have happen, and how you would like to feel?

So what exactly do we fear most?

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

About Treatment For Addictions and Substance Abuse :: Healing From The Inside Out

The problem of addiction and excessive substance use can impact people from all walks of life, including: teachers, doctors, students, parents, spouses, your child. Therapists, psychologists, researchers and addiction experts are often at odds about the nature of addiction. Whether you believe it is genetic, trauma, poor coping skills or some combination of these factors, effective treatment is available for individuals and their families. Addiction counseling is a form of therapy designed to help an "addicted" individual detox and recover from his/her problem, develop healthier coping mechanisms and adapt to a new life of abstinence or harm-reduction.

How do people recover from addictions? Effective addiction and substance abuse counseling and psychotherapy can be done with a private therapist, in a rehabilitation center or in an outpatient program.  Many choose to enter personal therapy to get to the root of their reliance on substances and addictive behaviors, and find solutions beyond just stopping the substance. Healing from the inside out takes time,

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.