The To-Do List Guaranteed to Make You Unhappy

Posted on March 31, 2014

happy not happyWhile reading this thoughtful article from Lifehacks, I was reminded of how much pride we take in our daily to-do lists and particularly the emphasis our society puts on productivity. Busy, busy people we are, but would we find happiness or even contentment if we made a habit of practicing not-to-do lists more regularly?  The path to “happiness” seems unclear for many, so perhaps you may find some wisdom in this working backword method.  The post suggests that tallying up how much we actually do in our daily lives that makes us “unhappy” is a place to start. That is, of course, if you haven’t already given up on finding “happy.” My personal favorites are: 3, 4, 5 & 7. Find your own (and you may even think of more to add!). Once you tally up, the task then may be to figure out how these behaviors serve you and why you need them. That’s a goal of therapy for many–to get to the root of misery and find ways to change or accept what is. Some helpful psychotherapy techniques to address depression and anxiety with your therapist are: Cognitive Therapy for depression; CBT to change behaviors; DBT to understand, regulate emotions, communicate effectively and learn more adaptive coping skills; Mindfulness and (ACT) Acceptance Commitment Therapy to radically accept “what is” in your life and Psychodynamic and Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy to dig around in the unconscious should you care to. Please enjoy… Ten Recipes For Guaranteed Unhappiness - Lifehacks – Medium

Kimberly Seelbrede is a New York City psychotherapist, consultant and EMDR therapist who specializes in an integrative approach to psychotherapy and coaching, working with adults, adolescents and couples. Kimberly is trained to collaborate with you in developing the insight and coping skills to address many concerns including: relationship issues, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, self-esteem, self-harm, ADD, ADHD, social difficulties, adolescent challenges, underachievement, perfectionism, identity and sexuality concerns, addictions, compulsions, OCD, PTSD, trauma, transitions, stress management, performance problems, life balance and meditation and mindfulness support.  Please email  to arrange a consultation in her Manhattan office. Kimberly completed her graduate studies at New York University and has advanced post-graduate psychotherapy training from NYU and also holds an advanced certificate to practice EMDR therapy as well as specialized training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), DBT therapy, Non-Violent Communication (NVC), and applies the work of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and  John Gottman in her work with couples.

OM On Wall Street: David Lynch Foundation & TM

Posted on March 11, 2014

White Salt and white flower ,pebbles on old wood backgroundStressed-out finance and Wall Street folks can find their inner bliss, zen or just a more relaxed state (with the added benefit of lower blood pressure!) thanks to the David Lynch Foundation. The organization is introducing Transcendental Meditation or TM to the world of finance. Learn more about their initiatives with at-risk populations and many contributions to a more peaceful, present and focused way of being in the world here… David Lynch Foundation

Kimberly Seelbrede is a New York City psychotherapist, consultant and EMDR therapist who specializes in an integrative approach to psychotherapy and coaching, working with adults, adolescents and couples. Kimberly is trained to collaborate with you in developing the insight and coping skills to address many concerns including: relationship issues, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, self-esteem, self-harm, ADD, ADHD, social difficulties, adolescent challenges, underachievement, perfectionism, identity and sexuality concerns, addictions, compulsions, OCD, PTSD, trauma, transitions, stress management, performance problems, life balance and meditation and mindfulness support.  Please email  to arrange a consultation in her Manhattan office. Kimberly completed her graduate studies at New York University and has advanced post-graduate psychotherapy training from NYU and also holds an advanced certificate to practice EMDR therapy as well as specialized training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), DBT therapy, Non-Violent Communication (NVC), and applies the work of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and  John Gottman in her work with couples.

Healing Past Wounds: When Both Psychotherapy And Meditation May Be Necessary to Fully Release Pain And Suffering

Posted on February 28, 2014

Lanternes Jack Kornfield shares his view of both the healing potential and limitations of meditation and psychotherapy to fully release problems related to unresolved grief, fear, trauma, relationships, loneliness, woundedness, and unfinished business from the past.

Kornfield insightfully states: “Some people have come to meditation after working with traditional psychotherapy. Although they found therapy to be of value, its limitations led them to seek a spiritual practice. For me it was the opposite. While I benefited enormously from the training offered in the Thai and Burmese monasteries where I practised, I noticed two striking things. First, there were major areas of difficulty in my life, such as loneliness, intimate relationships, work, childhood wounds, and patterns of fear, that even very deep meditation didn’t touch. Second, among the several dozen Western monks (and lots of Asian meditators) I met during my time in Asia, with a few notable exceptions, most were not helped by meditation in big areas of their lives. Many were deeply wounded, neurotic, frightened, grieving, and often used spiritual practice to hide and avoid problematic parts of themselves.” – Jack Kornfield, Even The Best Meditators Have Old Wounds To Heal, Buddhanet.net

Enjoy the full article here… http://www.buddhanet.net/psymed1.htm

Kimberly Seelbrede is a New York City psychotherapist, consultant and EMDR therapist who specializes in an integrative approach to psychotherapy and coaching, working with adults, adolescents and couples. Kimberly is trained to collaborate with you in developing the insight and coping skills to address many concerns including: relationship issues, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, self-esteem, self-harm, ADD, ADHD, social difficulties, adolescent challenges, underachievement, perfectionism, identity and sexuality concerns, addictions, compulsions, OCD, PTSD, trauma, transitions, stress management, performance problems, life balance and meditation and mindfulness support.  Please email  to arrange a consultation in her Manhattan office. Kimberly completed her graduate studies at New York University and has advanced post-graduate psychotherapy training from NYU and also holds an advanced certificate to practice EMDR therapy as well as specialized training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), DBT therapy, Non-Violent Communication (NVC), and applies the work of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and  John Gottman in her work with couples.

Finding Therapy

Posted on December 23, 2013

Vector compass rose painting on a wooden wallThe following article from The Huffington Post Healthy Living section titled The Most Popular Kinds Of Therapy-And Why You Should Try One is a great starting point for someone who is contemplating psychotherapy, but who also may feel a bit too confused or overwhelmed by the process.  While it is not a complete offering of all the various types of therapies and schools of thought, it certainly gives a snapshot of the major types of therapy such as Psychodynamic Psychotherapy, CBT, Group Therapy, Family Therapy and DBT Therapy and describes the kinds of difficulties these therapies are best suited to target. If you already have a good sense of the nature of your struggles, then this article can make what can be a daunting process somewhat easier.  Sometimes a consultation with a licensed psychotherapist or psychologist can help steer you in the right direction towards the kind of therapist and style of psychotherapy that would be the most useful for your individual needs. Ultimately, finding a therapist with whom you can develop a relationship that fosters trust and openness and is a good overall “fit” for you and your needs will yield the best results.

For those of you who would like to sift through even more therapy styles, I’ve added a more comprehensive list of psychotherapy approaches compiled by goodtherapy.org. As you explore, please know that some of these therapy styles are  grounded in research and are evidence-based, others are theoretical; additionally, many are controversial, some cutting-edge and others are more popularly accepted, time-tested and anecdotal.

Kimberly Seelbrede is a New York City psychotherapist, consultant and EMDR therapist who specializes in an integrative approach to psychotherapy and coaching, working with adults, adolescents and couples. Kimberly is trained to collaborate with you in developing the insight and coping skills to address many concerns including: relationship issues, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, self-esteem, self-harm, ADD, ADHD, social difficulties, adolescent challenges, underachievement, perfectionism, identity and sexuality concerns, addictions, compulsions, OCD, PTSD, trauma, transitions, stress management, performance problems, life balance and meditation and mindfulness support.  Please email  to arrange a consultation in her Manhattan office. Kimberly completed her graduate studies at New York University and has advanced post-graduate psychotherapy training from NYU and also holds an advanced certificate to practice EMDR therapy as well as specialized training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), DBT therapy, Non-Violent Communication (NVC), and applies the work of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and  John Gottman in her work with couples. New York City Psychotherapist, Therapist, CBT Therapist, DBT Therapy, NYC Couples Therapist in Manhattan for depression, anxiety, self-esteem, panic disorder, crisis therap y, EMDR Therapy new york city, Mental Health, Find a Psychotherapist, Find a Therapist, Kinds Of Psychotherapy, Kinds Of Therapy, Psychotherapy, Therapy, Types Of Psychotherapy, Types Of Therapy

CBT-I And Help For Insomnia Lifts Depression

Posted on December 4, 2013

funny toy sheeps playing different games, nightIt’s common knowledge that one of the results of being depressed is disordered sleep – either sleeping too much or too little. Many of you have seen the much discussed article in the New York Times on the research that shows how addressing sleep deprivation through cognitive behavioral techniques or CBT, also helps resolve depression. This is very good news for the depressed and sleepless — fix the insomnia and sleep issues and the fog of depression may lift.

Therapists can help individuals with depression and sleep difficulties by offering effective and simple ways to improve sleep. When you find a psychotherapist who understands how to address sleep problems, you may also discover that symptoms of stress, anxiety, PTSD, physical illness, concentration/work efficiency, marriage difficulties, parenting, transitions, resiliency and other problems are eased.

The American Psychological Association has now recognized sleep psychology as a specialty. What exactly is insomnia? Insomnia is defined as at least three months of poor sleep that causes problems at work, at home or in relationships. The treatment called CBT-I is based on the concept that chronic insomnia is sustained by a variety of factors and poor sleep hygiene such as:

  • napping during the day
  • going to bed too early
  • lack of adequate sunlight
  • sleeping in
  • excessive caffeine use
  • late-night heavy meals
  • late-night liquids
  • exercising close to bedtime
  • watching TV in bed
  • reading books, Kindles or iPads in bed
  • working and using a laptop in bed
  • upsetting, emotional conversations too close to bedtime
  • less than optimal sleep environment (temperature, bedding, etc.)
  • using alcohol to sleep which is ultimately disruptive
  • worrying about falling asleep

Treatment using CBT-I includes tracking sleep times and practicing sleep hygiene to address unhelpful patterns. Many insomnia patients who lie awake worrying and thinking learn to associate bed not only with sleep but a place to be awake, and even begin to dread their beds. CBT utilizes stimulus control instructions such as using the bed only for sleep and sex.  Another helpful technique includes using a sleep diary as well as the concept of sleep restriction which limits the time in bed thus increasing the body’s drive to sleep.

Another important piece of the CBT cognitive therapy model helps insomnia patients recognize and modify unhelpful, inaccurate thoughts that affect one’s ability to sleep. For instance, many patients hold the belief that they “cannot function well without 7 or 8 hours of sleep” which puts additional pressure to fall asleep resulting in escalating tension and anxiety, and of course, no sleep. Patients using CBT will be taught “worry control” and learn to exchange rigid beliefs with more accurate evidence-based thoughts such as “I once flew across the country, slept 2 hours and was focused and effective during my meetings.”  Will you feel your best? No, probably not, but you will be fine. Should worry creep in the next night, try a sleep mantra like – you know how to sleep, you’ve slept before and you’ll sleep again, as well as pre-bed meditation and sleep relaxation and guided imagery. When I work with insomnia patients in my psychotherapy practice, I like to weave in some EMDR bilateral stimulation using mantras and guided imagery to help get those positive sleep images into the nervous system. I’ve had great success using some creative EMDR techniques for sleep and worry.

Relaxation training is used to help quiet the mind and relax the body. There are a number of techniques that can be taught such as muscle relaxation, deep breathing and biofeedback. Find what works for you. I often teach diaphragmatic breathing and progressive muscle relaxation and suggest helpful relaxation CD’s that I’ve had good success with. Patients who feel tense before bedtime benefit the most from these strategies.

It is not necessary for patients to discontinue sleep medication to benefit from CBT-I, however many patients are able to gradually taper off their sleep medications once they have learned alternative techniques to manage their insomnia.

Self-help books offering CBT-I are also available. Some suggestions are: “The Insomnia Answer,” by Paul Glovinsky and Art Spielman, and “Quiet Your Mind and Get to Sleep,” by Colleen E. Carney and Rachel Manber.

 Sleep Therapy is Expected To Gain a Wider Role In Depression Treatment

Kimberly Seelbrede is a New York City psychotherapist, consultant and EMDR therapist who specializes in an integrative approach to psychotherapy and coaching, working with adults, adolescents and couples. Kimberly is trained to collaborate with you in developing the insight and coping skills to address many concerns including: relationships, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, self-esteem, self-harm, ADD, ADHD, social difficulties, adolescent challenges, family issues, underachievement, perfectionism, identity and sexuality concerns, addictions, compulsions, OCD, binge eating, PTSD, trauma, transitions, life purpose, health concerns, weight management, stress management, performance problems, life balance and meditation and mindfulness support.  Please email  to arrange a consultation in her Manhattan office. Kimberly completed her graduate studies at New York University and has advanced post-graduate psychotherapy training from NYU and also holds an advanced certificate to practice EMDR therapy as well as specialized training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), DBT therapy, Non-Violent Communication (NVC), and applies the work of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and  John Gottman in her work with couples. 

Moderation Management: A Recovery Option For Problem Drinkers

Posted on October 16, 2013

Infinity inside, abstract environmental backgroundsThe debate continues in the world of recovery, especially as more problem drinkers successfully discover that learning to moderate their problem drinking may trump a life of total abstinence. Moderation Management or MM, like AA consists of meetings, peer support and online services to support problem drinkers. Just for the record, MM would prefer that clients maintain a 30-day period of abstinence as a suggestion to test whether one can abstain from alcohol for a short period of time. It also provides an opportunity to shine the light on your lifestyle, patterns and habits, and the role that alcohol likely plays in your life. What’s your relationship with alcohol like? Is it your primary relationship? Is drinking your main hobby or preoccupation? Can you seriously commit and maintain a life of moderation, or is abstinence a better option for you? The 30-days without alcohol gives clients an opportunity to understand and evaluate personal strengths and weaknesses (with a clear head!) and sort out one’s priorities. If you’re at a point in your life where you’re ready to get some help, click on the Moderation Management website FAQs to help clarify whether your drinking is a problem or not. Have a look at this article from one of my favorite addiction websites The Fix on how to moderate your problem drinking. Also read these articles from Psychology Today: Abstinence is Not the Only Option and Toast to Moderation. Some have found the book How to Change Your Drinking: A Harm Reduction Guide to Alcohol, by Kenneth Anderson helpful. If meetings and support groups are of interest to you, consider SMART which stands for self-management and recovery training.

Moderation Management is not the appropriate solution for all problem drinkers and abstinence is the only option for many. There is a subgroup of MM members who would certainly meet the formal diagnostic criteria for alcohol dependence. These are individuals who report blackouts, shaking when not intoxicated, delirium tremens, convulsions and cravings for alcohol when waking or who have experienced consequences related to legal issues, harm to themselves and others, and problems with their job, health, and family situation. If you’re not sure about whether you are alcohol dependent vs a problem drinker, and to ensure your safety, it is important to work with a mental health expert to receive a proper diagnosis and a treatment plan that best supports your recovery. An addiction expert can help make distinctions between problem drinkers who are able to return to moderate drinking and alcoholics who are not.

Please google or find on iTunes these APPS that may serve as companions in your recovery. Some of the apps below may provide helpful skills and tools to address any underlying issues that drive your problem drinking:

Kimberly Seelbrede is a New York City psychotherapist, consultant and EMDR therapist who specializes in an integrative approach to psychotherapy and coaching, working with adults, adolescents and couples. Kimberly is trained to collaborate with you in developing the insight and coping skills to address many concerns including: relationships, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, self-esteem, self-harm, ADD, ADHD, social difficulties, adolescent challenges, family issues, underachievement, perfectionism, identity and sexuality concerns, addictions, compulsions, OCD, binge eating, PTSD, trauma, transitions, life purpose, health concerns, weight management, stress management, performance problems, life balance and meditation and mindfulness support.  Please email  to arrange a consultation in her Manhattan office. Kimberly completed her graduate studies at New York University and has advanced post-graduate psychotherapy training from NYU and also holds an advanced certificate to practice EMDR therapy as well as specialized training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), DBT therapy, Non-Violent Communication (NVC), and applies the work of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and  John Gottman in her work with couples.

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ADHD & Executive Functioning Explained

Posted on October 11, 2013

If you or a loved one has recently received a diagnosis of ADHD or ADD,  the terms executive functions (EF) or executive functioning deficit may have also surfaced in the conversation. If you didn’t understand this term (and who would?), talk with your doctor, psychotherapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist about what this actually means, and how executive functioning may be compromised in individuals with ADHD. The YouTube video below offers a clear explanation of executive functioning. It’s helpful to have examples and an understanding of how this problem may show up for you or someone you love in your everyday life, whether you’re a child, adolescent or adult diagnosed with ADHD. This article in Scientific American explains how working with a therapist who practices evidence-based therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT may yield long-term benefits, providing strategies to improve social skills, reduce impulsivity and develop and reinforce positive habits that last. Russell Barkley, PhD, clinical professor of psychiatry at the Medical University of South Carolina, is a leading expert on ADHD and the editor of the bimonthly ADHD Report. To learn more about Dr. Barkley and ADHD go to russellbarkley.org.

Click here for more information on kids with ADHD and disrupted executive function from childmind.org.

Kimberly Seelbrede is a New York City psychotherapist, consultant and EMDR therapist who specializes in an integrative approach to psychotherapy and coaching, working with adults, adolescents and couples. Kimberly is trained to collaborate with you in developing the insight and coping skills to address many concerns including: relationships, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, self-esteem, self-harm, ADD, ADHD, social difficulties, adolescent challenges, family issues, underachievement, perfectionism, identity and sexuality concerns, addictions, compulsions, OCD, binge eating, PTSD, trauma, transitions, life purpose, health concerns, weight management, stress management, performance problems, life balance and meditation and mindfulness support.  Please email  to arrange a consultation in her Manhattan office. Kimberly completed her graduate studies at New York University and has advanced post-graduate psychotherapy training from NYU and also holds an advanced certificate to practice EMDR therapy as well as specialized training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), DBT therapy, Non-Violent Communication (NVC), and applies the work of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and  John Gottman in her work with couples. New York City Therapist for ADD or ADHD, Psychologist NYC, Psychotherapy ADD ADHD Manhattan, anxiety therapist

Substance Abuse And The Co-Occurrence Of Social Anxiety Disorder

Posted on September 3, 2013

coffee breakShyness and social anxiety is thought by experts to exist on a continuum, however, efforts to cope with this anxiety disorder can be disabling for many leading to avoidance of situations and often using and abusing substances to manage uncomfortable symptoms. The co-occurrence of substance abuse, particularly alcohol abuse, is common among people who have social anxiety disorder according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Many begin to rely on alcohol as a coping mechanism to relieve social discomfort. While individuals may not experience full relief from their symptoms by using alcohol or drugs, they may experience enough relief to enable them to get through difficult social situations. Some studies report that the average lifetime prevalence of alcoholism among individuals with social anxiety disorder, as well as depression, may be as high as 20 percent. Psychotherapy such as Cognitive Therapy and other therapy modalities such as EMDR can help individuals change their thoughts, develop more helpful coping skills and experience greater personal comfort in social situations. Read on to understand what fuels social anxiety (not just negative evaluation, but also positive) and how therapy, and some of the techniques listed can help. To learn more about Social Anxiety Disorder read 6 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety – Psych Central. To learn more about the link between mood and anxiety disorders and alcoholism and substance use visit ADAA.

Kimberly Seelbrede is a New York City psychotherapist, consultant and EMDR therapist who specializes in an integrative approach to psychotherapy and coaching, working with adults, adolescents and couples. Kimberly is trained to collaborate with you in developing the insight and coping skills to address many concerns including: relationships, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, self-esteem, self-harm, ADD, ADHD, social difficulties, adolescent challenges, family issues, underachievement, perfectionism, identity and sexuality concerns, addictions, compulsions, OCD, binge eating, PTSD, trauma, transitions, life purpose, health concerns, weight management, stress management, performance problems, life balance and meditation and mindfulness support.  Please email  to arrange a consultation in her Manhattan office. Kimberly completed her graduate studies at New York University and has advanced post-graduate psychotherapy training from NYU and also holds an advanced certificate to practice EMDR therapy as well as specialized training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), DBT therapy, Non-Violent Communication (NVC), and applies the work of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and  John Gottman in her work with couples. 

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Natural, Holistic Therapy: Gently Manage Anxiety, Depression, Stress, ADHD, ADD and More

Posted on June 24, 2013

leafMany of my therapy and coaching clients are interested in learning holistic ways to reduce and manage the symptoms of anxiety, depression, addictions and eating disorders, and many in particular, are interested in some form of meditation. They are often motivated by media stories or recent studies that document the proven benefits of meditation, and are interested in natural ways to gain symptom relief. Peer review studies are confirming that this approach, in addition to specific lifestyle modifications is a highly effective approach to managing and controlling anxiety, panic disorder and mild depression.

As a psychotherapist trained in traditional and non-traditional methods, I have always encouraged interested clients to give non-traditional techniques such as meditation and mindfulness a try. Many are unwilling, for a variety of reasons, to use medication, and for clients with this orientation, using a multi-modal approach combining cognitive therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), EMDR therapy and mindfulness meditation can provide much needed relief.

Learning to sit without goals can be a challenge for the beginner. Allowing the mindfulness meditation process itself to unfold without trying to judge or control it is the practice. It is a daunting task, if not impossible, to attempt to empty the mind; our heads are messy and cluttered, some days more than others. Learning to notice and tolerate the many thoughts and sensations requires a process of “letting it be.” Mindfulness gifts the practitioner with the ability simply observe, noticing how thoughts and distractions come and go.  Thoughts are just that–thoughts–not necessarily truths. Thoughts don’t have to control you, but notice how often they do. Once you learn to tune in to your noisy, judging mind, you can make choices about how you relate to your thoughts. Some thoughts you may choose to connect to, others you will release. Are there thoughts you wish to change–”I’m not worth it” and “I can’t do this” are common examples of negative self talk.

Wondering where and how to start this practice? One easy way to begin is to choose a routine daily activity such as making the bed. Begin with noticing your thoughts. What you are doing? How are you doing this? What does your body feel like as you do this simple activity? Notice your breathing and any body sensations that arise. Do you do this mostly on automatic pilot–and if you do–can you begin to notice how fluidly you slip in and out of this state as you make the bed? If you’re hard on yourself notice that as well. Don’t rush to finish making your bed, focus on being fully present as you do it. This is the practice of mindfulness. Being present and learning to tolerate the experience of being in your body and with your thoughts.

There is no way to do this practice wrong which is the beauty of this elegant meditation. Go slow in the beginning. An “easy does it” approach offers you a natural way of being in your experience, and with time, you will develop the capacity to tolerate whatever arises for you. By paying attention to one’s breath and inner cues from the mind and body, you will learn to reconnect with an ease and stillness that addictive behaviors, eating disorders, depression and anxiety symptoms aggressively disrupts. Additionally, yoga, deep abdominal breathing and meditation have shown to reduce levels of cortisol, lower blood pressure and encourage relaxation, all which have the added benefit of reducing depression and anxiety. Additionally the use of expressive, insight-oriented and interpersonal psychotherapies as well as group therapy can provide a comprehensive approach to the treatment of many common psychiatric problems.

If you’ve tried meditation but found it too difficult to do on your own, then I recommend that you check out some helpful resources such as The Chopra Center , Shambhala and a personal favorite of mine, Belleruth Naparstek who develops guided imagery DVD’s, iPhone and iPad apps for specific conditions such as: insomnia, weight loss, cancer, pain management, PTSD, depression, addiction, panic attacks, ADD, ADHD and more. Some conditions such as Bipolar Disorder, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, OCD, addictions and eating disorders will need more aggressive interventions such as medication. It is important to seek professional help for yourself or others when the potential for harm and destruction is great and should outweigh the desire to treat these conditions in natural, holistic ways.

Kimberly Seelbrede is a New York City psychotherapist, consultant and EMDR therapist who specializes in an integrative approach to psychotherapy and coaching, working with adults, adolescents and couples. Kimberly is trained to collaborate with you in developing the insight and coping skills to address many concerns including: relationships, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, self-esteem, self-harm, ADD, ADHD, social difficulties, adolescent challenges, family issues, underachievement, perfectionism, identity and sexuality concerns, addictions, compulsions, OCD, binge eating, PTSD, trauma, transitions, life purpose, health concerns, weight management, stress management, performance problems, life balance and meditation and mindfulness support.  Please email  to arrange a consultation in her Manhattan office. Kimberly completed her graduate studies at New York University and has advanced post-graduate psychotherapy training from NYU and also holds an advanced certificate to practice EMDR therapy as well as specialized training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), DBT therapy, Non-Violent Communication (NVC), and applies the work of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and  John Gottman in her work with couples.

On Parenting…

Posted on May 19, 2013

Nature Word Jumping Arrow Over Nurture Genetics HereditaryNothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent. ~Carl Jung therapist nyc

Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn. ~Benjamin Franklin

If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. ~Carl Jung NYC Psychotherapist, adolescent therapist new york city, therapy downtown manhattan

Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.  They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.  You may give them your love but not your thoughts,  for they have their own thoughts.  You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.  You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.  You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the make upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.  Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness.  For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He also loves the bow that is stable.  ~Kahlil Gibran

To be in your children’s memories tomorrow,  You have to be in their lives today.  ~Barbara Johnson

Let me say for now that we knew once the Creation was broken, true fathering would be much more lacking than mothering. Don’t misunderstand me, both are needed- but an emphasis on fathering is necessary because of the enormity of its absence.  ~Wm. Paul Young, The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity

It’s impossible to protect your kids against disappointment in life.  ~Nicholas Sparks, Message in a Bottle

Sometimes, kids want you to hurt the way they hurt.  ~Mitch Albom

Adults constantly raise the bar on smart children, precisely because they’re able to handle it. The children get overwhelmed by the tasks in front of them and gradually lose the sort of openness and sense of accomplishment they innately have. When they’re treated like that, children start to crawl inside a shell and keep everything inside. It takes a lot of time and effort to get them to open up again. Kids’ hearts are malleable, but once they gel it’s hard to get them back the way they were.  ~Haruki Murakami, Kafka `on the Shore

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.  ~James Baldwin

We are all, I suppose, beholden to our parents – the question is, how much?  ~Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.  ~Margaret Mead

If you are a parent, open doors to unknown directions to the child so he can explore. Don’t make him afraid of the unknown,give him support. ~Osho

Kimberly Seelbrede is a New York City psychotherapist, consultant and EMDR therapist who specializes in an integrative approach to psychotherapy and coaching, working with adults, adolescents and couples. Kimberly is trained to collaborate with you in developing the insight and coping skills to address many concerns including: relationships, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, self-esteem, self-harm, ADD, ADHD, social difficulties, adolescent challenges, family issues, underachievement, perfectionism, identity and sexuality concerns, addictions, compulsions, OCD, binge eating, PTSD, trauma, transitions, life purpose, health concerns, weight management, stress management, performance problems, life balance and meditation and mindfulness support.  Please email  to arrange a consultation in her Manhattan office. Kimberly completed her graduate studies at New York University and has advanced post-graduate psychotherapy training from NYU and also holds an advanced certificate to practice EMDR therapy as well as specialized training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), DBT therapy, Non-Violent Communication (NVC), and applies the work of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and  John Gottman in her work with couples.

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