Therapy + Coaching For Couples
Couples therapy or relationship counseling is designed to help heterosexual and gay couples work through relationship and communication problems and create or reconnect to love, respect and emotional closeness. I work couples in crisis and high-functioning couples helping them listen for and understand the emotional needs of the other. Effective couples therapy should provide support and guidance so that communication can feel safe and constructive. Additionally, couples can learn tools to navigate problems, work through conflicts and increase the attachment bond, which results in deepened intimacy and trust. I am excited to use the many skills and tools I've acquired to help clients create a more successful partnership as a result of my training with The Gottman Institute and by integrating EFT or Emotionally Focused Therapy into sessions.
What Research Tells Us About Relationships:
- Emotional distance can be as destructive to a relationship as conflict
- The way a couple fights, repairs and resolves problems is more important than what they fight about
- Attachment insecurity leads to conflict and or distance
- In distressed relationships, some partners shut down and withdraw as a way to manage intense emotions
- Couples must nurture fondness and respect for the other in order to thrive together
- Couples need shared meaning in their lives to remain connected
Therapists who have received training from The Gottman Institute are interested in using a range of effective interventions to help partners in couples therapy master difficulties including, learning to:
- Re-ignite the flames of fading romance and friendship
- Build shared meaning, values and symbols for long term connection
- Bridge the chasm of emotional distance and building a culture of appreciation
- De-escalate volatile arguments and gridlocked fights
- Eradicate criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling
- Heal from affairs and other breaches of trust
- Learn to listen and understand the needs of the other
- Communicate more effectively
- Develop healthier problem-solving skills and learn to resolve conflict productively
- Identify and express personal needs clearly and openly
- Create shared goals, values and dreams
- Express, disclose and resolve painful emotions
- Work through unresolved trauma and issues of the past and wounds that have occurred in the relationship
Common reasons couples decide to seek relationship counseling:
- To heal from emotional affairs and infidelity
- Divorce, remarriage and blended family
- Sexual problems such as incompatibility or lack of desire
- Health or emotional problems
- Healing from addictions or substance abuse
- Money and financial concerns
- Difficulties with communication or expressing needs
- Conflicts about values
- Different parenting styles
- Cultural differences
- Fertility issues and related stress
- Anger and resentment problems
- Personal histories of abuse and trauma
- Roles and work/life balance
I am happy to work with you in person or if your schedules conflict, online therapy using a HIPPA compliant service or Skype which is not secure are two available options. Please send me an email for more information.
Premarital Therapy + Counseling
Premarital counseling allows couples to nip issues and potential problems in the bud, strengthen the bond as well as talk about and clarify goals and values that are important to each member of the couple.
Sexuality + Intimacy
Sexuality in Intimate Relationships
Sexual problems are common in relationship therapy. Approximately seventy-five to eighty percent of all adult males and females experience sexual difficulties in their lives. The symptoms may vary, but often these problems can be caused by anxiety and stress, lack of sexual knowledge and/or experience, different needs and sexual interests, inability to communicate sexual needs, relational difficulties, childhood trauma and health and hormone-related problems. Therapy can help couples explore and understand the origin of their sexual difficulties, provide specific knowledge about sexual function and suggest methods to increase sexual satisfaction. As a therapist, I am sex positive and comfortable working with sexual diversity ranging from mainstream to alternative lifestyles.
More helpful information about Relationship Counseling:
Many fear bringing their struggles to a couples therapist because of shame or the threat that the relationship may end. In my experience, many relationships grow and thrive as a result of successful couples counseling. Many couples enter treatment to enhance their connection and relationship. For some, the relationship is in a crisis and requires a swift response to stop the bleeding. A trained relationship therapist will know the right approach. I consult with individuals and couples as they navigate many phases of relationships such as those in newly-formed relationships, pre-marital counseling, pre and post-baby transition difficulties and separation or divorce. I offer 60 and 90 minute consultations in my New York City office, over the telephone, or via Skype or Google Helpouts.
Many of my clients enter therapy to share the challenges and drama of single life and dating in Manhattan, as well as the complexities of long-term relationships. The ability to create and maintain meaningful and mutually satisfying relationships leads to a balanced and satisfying life. Research tells us that committed relationships, partnerships and connected marriages can be our greatest source of love, support, and happiness. As the early glow of a new relationship begins to wane, challenges in the form of patterns and dynamics begin to surface and things can unravel fast. Each member of the couple may unconsciously trigger in the other unfinished business of the past such as: early unmet needs, deficits, abandonment, loss, rejection, engulfment and a variety of other family of origin dynamics. What occurs can be emotional distance and negative feelings, contempt, defensiveness, conflicts that escalate, confusion and the inability to reconnect and repair after a dispute or argument. At this point, the relationship can become a source of pain and tension, rather than comfort, mutual support and joy.
Couples counseling is a type of relationship therapy that focuses on building and maintaining a healthy partnership by fostering connection and attachment, developing compassion and empathy for self and other, learning new skills and even resolving wounds from the past. Clients seek couples therapy and pre-marital counseling for a variety of reasons. In some cases, partners have suffered a trauma in their relationship, such as a betrayal or infidelity, unemployment or another type of crisis that creates stress. The popularity and dependence on social media such as Facebook and other technological advances such texting and email has created new problems for couples leading to misunderstandings and even emotional betrayal and affairs. Couples with relationships that are higher-functioning and less-stressed use relationship sessions to better understand the needs of their partners, deepen listening and communication skills and further strengthen their relationship.
According to marriage and relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, less than 5% of divorcing couples seek marriage counseling and the average couple waits six years before seeking help for marital problems. Additionally, half of all marriages fail in the first seven years. Couples may fear relationship counseling for many reasons, yet it is clear that most couples endure a less than ideal partnership for far too long. Therapists who work with couples agree that intervening soon rather than later will yield better long-term results.
“Relationship coaching can be a life changing experience for many. Everybody has some kind of relationship: business partners, co-workers, friends, family, lovers, or simply with themselves.
Relationship coaching is not therapy. Relationship coaching gives clients the tools needed to resolve disagreements, personality clashes and other difficulties that arise in the context of important relationships, including: siblings, colleagues, divorced parents and other partnerships. Ask yourself these important questions:
- Is there a relationship in your life, colleagues, siblings, lover, past or present, that is causing you stress and tension?
- Do you struggle with honesty in certain relationships?
- Do you find it hard to have difficult conversations, communicate your needs or maintain boundaries?
- Do you get flustered, come "undone" or lose your effectiveness in the face of conflict, negative feedback or confrontation?
- Do you feel easily controlled in certain important relationships?
- Are power struggles or disagreements draining you or your company's energy?
Consider communication coaching and conflict resolution consulting as a way to address problematic relationships.
OTHER PROFESSIONAL SERVICES
Individual Therapy, Group Therapy, Relationship Counseling, Consulation, Supervision, EMDR + Adjunctive EMDR Therapy + Online Counseling Sessions
I've enjoyed my education adventures along the way and am able to offer a unique approach to healing. My goal is to blend contemporary psychological practices and practical skill-building with intuitive guidance and the wisdom of the ancient healing arts. The heart and soul of my approach is to help clients develop insight, self-awareness, self-acceptance, authenticity, self-integration, respect for one's body, feeling embodied, healthier boundaries, self-care and to learn to trust one's own inner guide and wisdom.
Psychotherapy For Adolescents + Adults
Individual adolescent and adult therapy is provided in my Manhattan office, and depending on client concerns, online using Skype or a HIPPA compliant platform. An initial consultation is the best way to determine if your particular needs and goals can best be addressed using a short-term model such as solution-focused therapy and crisis counseling or long-term psychotherapy to address longstanding, chronic symptoms and conflicts. I have advanced post-graduate training in a variety of helpful techniques such as: EMDR Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT, Dialectical Behavior Therapy or DBT, Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, Interpersonal Psychotherapy, Solution Focused Therapy, Focusing and Mindfulness. After an initial assessment, I will give you my opinion, and together, we can discuss therapy in detail. We can also consider the duration of treatment and the approach or combination that would be the best solution for you. I have expertise in anxiety and mood disorders, addictions, compulsions, eating disorders, relationship problems, sexuality, identity concerns, sexuality, self-defeating patterns/self-sabbotage, lack of purpose, spirituality, family of origin issues, trauma/PTSD, attachment issues, self-esteem, transitions, loss, wellness coaching and an integrative therapy approach that addresses chronic pain and medical challenges.
Coaching, Strategizing + Mentoring
Coaching clients are goal-oriented individuals who seek results in their lives. Hiring a coach who is rigorously trained to uncover obstacles, as well as guide and support your best self, is a powerful resource. Having support and guidance as you practice new behaviors can be incredibly helpful. Some just need an expert "strategist" to guide efforts towards growth and change. Coaching unearths the stubborn and often hidden, negative self-concepts that keep people anchored to their present reality. Identifying these unhelpful concepts helps clients move forward. Often, a positive and renewed sense of energy will emerge as soon as one begins the coaching process. Partnering with a life coach can be supportive, encouraging and empowering, and can help clients navigate change restoring or creating balance and fulfillment. Whether it’s taking control of one's health, losing weight, career issues, focusing on goal-attainment, repairing a relationship, getting "unstuck" or transitioning to a new chapter in life, coaching can provide the needed inspiration and support one desires. Working with a licensed trained psychotherapist can yield exceptional results. Coaching is not therapy. Therapists have interesting skills and tools that can be used when longstanding and resistant patterns interfere with progress. I won't hesitate to offer EMDR for blocks and peak performance enhancement, Mindfulness, Solution-Focused strategies or Cognitive Behavior techniques to my clients, combined with coaching strategies to help the "stuck" move forward.
Relationship Counseling + Couples Therapy
I've successfully worked with many coupes who desire a better, more fulfilling relationship. I work with many high-functioning couples who would like to enhance their relationship and reestablish intimacy and connection. I also work with individuals at various stages of relationships including: newly-formed relationships, couples seeking pre-marital counseling and guidance, new parents seeking support, those considering separation or divorce and the newly single and ready to date. I use a "team" approach, helping couples learn to communicate their needs and "hear" the needs of their partner, as well as develop a shared vision or goals, learn acceptance and compassion for self and the other, heal from infidelity, develop new skills, identify and de-escalate triggers, address sex and intimacy concerns and understand how the past may be impacting your current relationship. I use my training from The Gottman Institute, as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT and Non-Violent Communication or NVC to support my work with couples.
EMDR Therapy + Brainspotting
As an EMDRIA-approved, level II trained EMDR therapist, I have enjoyed great success with clients using EMDR therapy for a variety of chronic, longstanding difficulties as well as recent traumatic incidents. EMDR psychotherapy can be a stand-alone treatment or integrated into ongoing talk therapy sessions to speed the healing process. As a New York City based EMDR specialist, I provide trauma resolution for PTSD symptoms, and healing for attachment deficits, developmental traumas, medical trauma and chronic physical and emotional abuse. Additionally, EMDR is an effective therapy for anxiety, obsessions, phobias, compulsions, panic attacks, depression, self-esteem, eating disorders and more. For addictions, I use a specific protocol called the Feeling State Addiction Protocol or FSAP when working with substance and process addictions. For individuals in addiction recovery, elements of EMDR therapy can help clients develop self-soothing inner resources. A combination of EMDR and coaching is an effective treatment combination for sports and peak performance enhancement and creative and performance blocks. Brainspotting, another technique developed by David Grand, PhD, combined with EMDR psychotherapy is a technique I use to address attachment issues, unresolved trauma, pre-verbal trauma and performance problems.
Consultations + Referrals
I provide consultation sessions that are time-limited and problem or goal-focused. Some individuals and families consult with a mental health professional for educational purposes, a clinical assessment or diagnosis, help with a personal or life challenge, support for a difficult transition or crisis and to obtain resources to other collateral support such as psychiatrists or treatment facilities such as rehabs for addictions and eating disorders. Clinical consultations allow a client, parent or family member to explore concerns, probem-solve with a professional and make decisions or changes in their lives that move them forward when they feel unsupported or "stuck." I am delighted to share my trusted resources to complementary, alternative and conventional medical referrals in New York City and beyond. Consultations are not psychotherapy and can be done long distance using an online service such as Skype, Google, FaceTime or via telephone sessions.
Integrative Therapy-Coaching, Mindfulness, Stress Reduction + Self-Care Practices
My interest in mind-body techniques and complementary medicine has allowed me to journey to some amazing places including workshops and training opportunities. Using my training with the Urban Zen Foundation and my yoga therapy training (RYT 200 + 500 hours), I help clients address anxiety insomnia, stress, trauma and chronic illness using a combination of guided imagery, breathing techniques, body scans, meditation and Mindfulness. I've studied aromatherapy and Reiki and still enjoy both, including self-Reiki and Reiki with clients, friends and family. Using the brilliance of neurobiology, western psychological theory, and the power of cutting-edge nutrition, yoga therapy, chakra work and other somatic psychotherapies, I truly enjoy helping clients who are open to these techniques heal on many levels. Together we can decide what would work best for your particular needs. Some examples of integrative therapy include: Mindfulness training, lifestyle recommendations (nutrition, meditation, exercise, yoga and sleep), boundary work, creative play, journaling, somatic therapy and more.
Supervision + Private Practice Development
I enjoy helping new practitioners such as social workers, marriage and family therapists, licensed professional counselors, licensed mental health counselors and psychologists develop and build their private practices. I am happy to provide clinical supervision for cases, and I especially enjoy helping interested therapists blend mind-body medicine and complementary techniques into their existing psychotherapy practices.
Psychotherapy, Coaching + Consultation Services
- Depression and mood disorders
- Anxiety and compulsive disorders
- Eating disorders, emotional eating and body image issues
- Borderline Personality Disorder BPD
- Adolescents problems (behavioral, emotional, family, academic challenges)
- Marriage / couples / relationship problems
- Celebrity, gifted and talented individuals
- Grief, loss and bereavement
- Asperger’s Syndrome
- Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) / Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD)
- Addictions / drug addiction / process addictions / substance abuse / behavioral disorders / alcoholism
- Sexual addiction
- Adult survivors of abuse
- Adult Children of Alcoholics
- Childhood, developmental trauma and traumatic events
- Self-sabatage and self-defeating behaviors
- Self-esteem issues
- Performance blocks using EMDR therapy
- Surviving and managing relationships with borderline or narcissistic individuals / partners
- Men’s issues
- Women’s issues, transitions, parenting, caretaking, hormone imbalance
- Environmental stressors and crisis management
- Phase of life issues / aging
- Sexual and relationship issues for individuals and couples
- Life transitions
- Work, creativity and career issues
- Life purpose, existential and spiritual concerns
- Individual, couples, marital, family and group therapy
- Weekend intensive workshops for couples
- Coordination of services with school, medical practitioners, legal counsel, etc
- Consultation and evaluation for potential in-patient residential treatment
- Parent and new parent education and coaching
- Addiction evaluations and assessments
- Addiction therapy (drug, alcohol, sex, internet, gambling, eating, spending, shopping)
- Executive coaching
- Peak performance coaching
- Clinical supervision, private practice building business and consulting
- Presentations and workshops
- Mindfulness, meditation and stress management coaching and instruction
- Recovery support for individuals including their families
- Self-care support and coaching
- Referrals to medical and allied professionals in New York City
- Psychodynamic / psychoanalytic psychotherapy
- Mindfulness / meditation support
- Interpersonal psychotherapy
- EMDR therapy
- Brainspotting for attachment and trauma resolution
- Crisis counseling
- Short-term and goal-oriented therapy
- Cognitive therapy for depression
- DBT skills
- Marriage and relationships
- Clinical supervision
- Online via telephone, Skype, FaceTime or a HIPPA compliant service