Couples Therapy

Relationships can be rewarding and nurturing as well as challenging and destructive. Many feel couples counseling is the beginning of the end, and for some that is accurate. But for many, a skilled therapist can help you understand your style of relating as a couple because the way you interact in your private life is often revealed during the session. Couples therapy can help illuminate patterns, resolve conflicts and heal wounds as well as give you the support and strength to make any necessary changes. Couples therapy can help you rebuild your relationship, clarify issues, talk through old issues and improve communication. Many couples report that they only communicate during sessions where it feels safe and contained.  Therefore the goal is to help couples learn to communicate outside the session in a healthy manner. More importantly, therapy can help you understand the dynamics of your relationship, each other as separate individuals and develop the empathy needed to facilitate and sustain a mutually satisfying partnership. Couples therapy is often short term, but may continue for some time. Similar to individual therapy, it is generally conducted weekly. 

Couples work is different from individual therapy because we focus on the "system" formed by the partnership, not exclusively on individual histories.  Systems are complex, dynamic and consist of largely unconscious processes.  A skilled couples therapist can focus on the parts of a system that have become problematic and have been hidden from view. Many couples fear judgment, and that the therapist will take sides or favor one over the other.  Therapists are trained to understand this aspect of the treatment and "hold the space" so that observations, confrontations, insight, clarifications, validations and any other interventions can be made without unnecessary wounding to either party. Couples therapy helps couples, married or not, gay or straight, understand and resolve conflicts and generally improve their relationship. If you are partnered but at different stages of commitment, you may benefit from communication that builds both tolerance and patience. You will gain the tools to communicate better, problem solve, negotiate and even argue in healthier ways. 

  • As we change and grow as individuals, our relationships change as well. Couples need to learn how to change and flourish together.
  • Couples can and do survive, and even thrive, in the aftermath of an affair. Infidelity must be dealt with and efforts to restore trust are a relationship focus.
  • Children demand so much of our time, energy and attention that often there is limited time for couples to connect, spend time together, or have sex.
  • Couples cannot be complacent about their lack of intimacy – this is a formula for marital disaster.
  • Learn to identify negative patterns that are hindering the quality of your relationship & friendship. 
  • Learn how to stop blaming each other so you can work through problems without power struggles. 
  • Recognize the ‘cause & effect’ patterns in your relationship as they arise.
  • Find healthy ways to communicate and relate to each other, which will strengthen the quality of your partnership. 
  • Find ways to reconnect to the love and passion of your earlier relationship.

Premarital Counseling:

I'm excited about how popular Premarital Counseling is becoming, and I love the work of helping young couples create fulfilling lives together. Premarital counseling allows couples to nip issues and potential problems in the bud, and strengthen the bond as well as clarify goals and values that are important to each member of the couple. In addition to what you bring in, we focus on education and skill building so strong bonds can be formed.