How To Set Boundaries :: Stress Less And Avoid Burnout During The Holidays

“Plays well with others” but also takes fierce care of herself! As a Manhattanite, a stroll down Fifth Avenue this time of year reveals that holiday mania is indeed upon us. It’s the season for parties, events, presents, travel and family—also exhaustion! That bone-deep fatigue that sets intermittently and certainly after the holiday season because you have more things to do and less time for self-care and reflection.

Feelings of overwhelm and overcommitment, the season seems to deliver more frenzy, panic, anxiety, sadness and other emotions and behaviors than peace and joy. As a Manhattan-based Psychotherapist and Coach, I work with busy New Yorkers, especially highly perfectionistic, busy women, who have seemingly boundless reservoirs of energy—that is until they crash! What follows are some tips to help you flow through the season of light without burning yourself out.

Learning to have healthier boundaries is a great place to start! You instinctively move away from someone when they move too close to you. That’s a healthy and adaptive response, and so is setting boundaries with others. You may have learned to acquiesce to the needs of others for many reasons—that’s an old story for you, and now, like many narratives, a part of your “self” that you’d like to rescue. Here are some easy tips…

  1. Learn to say NO without feeling guilty - Guilt is an important response to many things, and helps you develop properly. It’s also not always warranted, overused, reflexive and habitual. It’s not easy but you can learn to say NO. It gets easier with practice but you’ll feel proud of yourself, you may also learn that others will still love you (even if they have a less than ideal response to the new you who says NO). The biggest win is that you’ll free yourself up for things that really

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
The Stressed-Out, Very Busy NYC Professional :: Is Anxiety And Stress Hijacking Your Life?

Something just doesn’t feel right and while you may think you’re managing all the aspects of your hectic life pretty well, that “off” feeling may be anxiety that's pulling you out of your game. You could benefit from finding a therapist to help you sort things out but you’re too busy to make it to the gym or show up for family and friends as it is. You are a high-achieving, busy New Yorker, you are also struggling to balance personal and professional demands. You can’t do everything, and at times, it feels like you may be sinking instead of flourishing. Many high-functioning New Yorkers also battle chronic, stress-induced anxiety and tension that can lead to physical symptoms and depression.

You may overeat and abuse substances so now that we’ve identified those behaviors, this is a good time to consider whether anxiety and stress are driving some of these bad habits and patterns. Do you feel unwell because of anxiety and is it time to seek treatment for your stress and anxiety? How would your life improve if you found effective help for your symptoms of stress and anxiety?

I always recommend seeking professional support when anxiety is hijacking your life. Licensed psychotherapists have specialized training to help you better manage anxiety and cope better in the many aspects of your life so that you can create a healthier work/life balance. If you find that you are feeling overwhelmed, numb, less resilient, or that you eat and drink your feelings, here is some practical help until you find a therapist to work with one on one.

  1. Pause, Identify + Notice — This is hard for busy professionals to slow down, hit the pause button and observe their thoughts, feelings and emotions or “tune-in” to what’s happening in their body. Who wants to do that especially when you work so hard to avoid unpleasant feelings. The body speaks loud and clear when we

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Therapy + Coaching Via Skype :: NYC And Worldwide

I am delighted to meet with my clients in my office, or via Skype, FaceTime or a HIPPA-compliant platform for video and/or telephone sessions. Sometimes this option is necessary when work/life demands are great, or you are ill, moving or out of town and cannot meet in-person. Skype therapy and coaching works great for busy couples who may have parenting conflicts. Coaching by Skype is ideal for busy professionals who are also unable to schedule regular ongoing appointments. For established psychotherapy clients who are high-functioning, Skype or virtual, tele-therapy can be a wonderful adjunct to in-office appointments. While I believe that face-to-face sessions are ideal and the only option for many, I understand that for high-functioning clients who lead full and busy lives, therapy or coaching by Skype may be a practical alternative to commuting or meeting in my psychotherapy office. With many clients, I am able to deliver the same types of modalities that I use in-person, such as: psychodynamic psychotherapy, cognitive behavior therapy or CBT, DBT skills, mindfulness, Focusing-Oriented Therapy, somatic therapies, relationship counseling, executive, stress and well-being coaching and even EMDR with high-functioning clients.

What is online tele-medicine?

For psychological consultations, therapy, mentoring and coaching, mental health professionals and their clients are able to conduct private sessions remotely without missing sessions. This ensures the continuity of our work together and facilitates progress and much needed emotional or goal-attainment support.

What do you need to work with a coach or therapist remotely? You will need

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
I'm An Introvert, And This Is What I've Learned

As an introvert, mostly what I've learned is that I am enough, just as I am. Yep, I'd rather be reading next to my sweetheart or hiking in nature than screaming small talk at an event. After reading Susan Cain's book Quiet some time ago, I've made peace with my previously-tortured, introverted "self" who frequently self-flagellated for feeling freakishly abnormal and ashamed that people, noise and extended social interactions left me seeking refuge in the nearest bathroom or quiet and solitude for days.

A few years ago, I was at a psychoanalytic event for eating disorders, chatting and doing my best at small-talking with other therapists. it was hot, bright and crowded! I found myself hugging the wall for comfort. I politely excused myself and rather frequently, to seek some space. At some point, a colleague looked at me, and rather intensely asked "do you have an eating disorder because you keep leaving? I do not, but I wanted to spill and say, "no, I'm actually an introvert and need to escape NOW because I’m feeling overwhelmed." Instead, I simply apologized and stated that I had some "phone calls to return." We are a society and culture that values extroversion—quiet people are often misunderstood, undervalued and asked to have qualities that they do not naturally possess. Faking being anything other than your true, authentic self comes at a price. 

I've since developed a great deal of acceptance and self-compassion for the way my brain and nervous system is wired, and as a result, how I need to function in the world. I make efforts to create situations that support my needs whenever I can. It is sometimes a challenge for me to make plans for next month or even a week from now, because I'm not sure how I'll feel on that day. Will I be able to rally for an event or social gathering when I need those resources the most? I've learned to embrace my brain differences, and have acceptance for my own needs. This includes my need for personal space, my need to retreat or create boundaries, and especially my need for recovery after extended social contact--it's a brain thing.

As it turns out, we now know that introverts need time to recharge and recover sometimes by

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
CBT :: Challenging Those Pesky Automatic Thoughts

Are your thoughts, both conscious and those just beneath the surface, keeping you from success and living the life you desire? Have you heard the saying, "thoughts are not facts? These thoughts that interfere with health and happiness sneak up on us fast, some louder than others, and many are like background noise wreaking havoc on your life. Many thoughts need to be challenged because they no longer serve you and actually keep you looping in misery or feeling "stuck." One successful and time-tested strategy for working with coaching or psychotherapy clients is helping them learn to notice the "automatic thoughts" that have a deleterious affect on relationships, mood, anxiety, behavior and general outlook contributing to negative quality of life and poor health. 

Automatic thinking refers to the automatic thoughts people have in response to things happening around them. The goal is not to judge these thoughts that occur, but to develop awareness and then learn to challenge and replace them with more realistic thoughts thus breaking the cycle of negative impact. I've included a helpful CBT tool from Psychology Tools, a resource that I regularly use with coaching and therapy clients to interrupt negative thinking. 

Prompts For Challenging Negative Thinking (Use the list of prompts below to help you assess the truthfulness of your negative thinking).

What thought do you notice?

Evidence

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Executive Coaching Failures :: When Psychological Blocks And Conflicts Interfere With Successful Coaching Outcomes

You’ve hired a top-notch life coach, maybe even the best executive or performance coach to whip you into shape, but now find that you are either stuck or that you made some temporary progress and are now reverting to your old ways. Coaching fails many hopeful clients and for some very important reasons.

You simply can’t move forward if you don’t get help clearing blocks and obstacles that are often unconscious, but sabotage your best efforts. Professional coaching can be very effective and successful, but sometimes you must dig a bit deeper to unearth unconscious beliefs about yourself and internal conflicts. Many well-meaning coaches lack the psychological training to be able to detect and support client needs when an executive's problem(s) stem from underlying emotional and psychological issues. For many, coaching can actually be detrimental when symptoms that are present are longstanding, stubborn, severe and ignored. An example of this would be attempting to coach individuals with severe personality disorders. Coaching methods utilized by trained professionals may utilize any number of high-level and cutting-edge modalities that have a proven track record of helping people overcome self-sabotage, problem, repetitive behaviors and psychological conflicts. Some examples include: EMDR therapy combined with coaching; CBT and DBT Skills blended into coaching sessions, psychodynamic (insight-oriented) coaching and depth psychology.

Many fear or do not trust therapy and prefer a coaching model that is “here and now” focused and results and solution-driven. What happens when executives stumble onto patterns and obstacles that come up for them again and again? Executives, creatives, officers and entrepreneurs hire coaches to help them remove obstacles and learn to find clarity in their lives so that they can see things about their thoughts, actions and behaviors that may be

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
CBT :: Coaching + Therapy Techniques For Changing Thoughts And Behaviors

We ALL need a little help sometimes, even when we have awareness of our challenges and difficulties. It's really hard for many to ask for help, so I thought I'd share some useful techniques that I use in my own private practice in NYC working with therapy and coaching clients. CBT techniques are very helpful tools to be used in therapy, coaching and useful when applied to everyday life situations. What follows are some of the most common problems that clients struggle with and CBT techniques that are helpful. 

  1. Journaling—This technique gathers information and data about habitual thoughts, emotions and moods. Included in journal entries can be: time of day, the source or trigger, the intensity of the feeling state and the response or action taken. You can add more helpful and adaptive coping responses that might be considered in the future.

  2. Catastrophizing—This tendency is to go immediately to an irrational thought that something is far worse than it actually is. Catastrophizing generally takes two different forms: making a catastrophe out of a current situation or a future situation. Step one is to identify when your are doing this. Next, use your smartphone or journal to write the thoughts down throughout the day and add a corrective statement to counteract the negative belief.

  3. Cognitive Distortions—Alone or with a therapist, you practice identifying harmful or negative thoughts that are automatic for you, then challenge these thoughts that lead to vulnerability or distress in your daily life.

  4. Cognitive Restructuring—Once you identify the distortions or inaccurate views, you can begin to learn about how this distortion took root and why you came to believe it. When you discover a belief that is destructive or harmful, you can begin to challenge it. Instead of accepting a faulty belief that leads to negative thoughts about yourself and poor self-esteem, you could take this opportunity to think about something in a different way.

  5. Write Down Self-Statements to Counteract Negative Beliefs—This is a challenge especially if your belief is strong or it has served you in some way. Confront these negative thoughts by introducing a positive more correct thought. Positive thoughts or self-statements help to interrupt old patterns and create new neural pathways.

  6. Exposure and Response Prevention—If you suffer from OCD, you can expose yourself to whatever creates the compulsive behavior that follows. Avoid doing the behavior by writing about it instead in a journal or notepad.

  7. Interoceptive Exposure—If you struggle with panic attacks or anxiety, this technique involves exposing yourself to bodily sensations that elicit responses that lead to distress and panic symptoms. As you experience unpleasant symptoms, unhelpful thoughts arise and you can learn to tolerate the experience, reduce avoidance and develop a different way to view these symptoms such discomfort, but not dangerous.

  8. Play the Script Until the End—This technique involves imagining the worst case scenario, letting it play out in the mind. For those who struggle with fear and

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Healing From Trauma :: Reclaim Your Identity

Traumatic experiences change the brain and it does so in an effort to protect us from future negative experiences. However, trauma and its symptoms do not have to hold us in its grip forever. As you continue to think, talk, re-tell and act on your experience(s), you reinforce your attachment to what happened, which exacerbates your symptoms and you loop on the upsetting memory and trauma responses. 

The body is designed to heal. We now know that the brain has an amazing capacity to heal by creating new neural pathways. This process is called neuroplasticity. When people are finally able to regain control over their thoughts, behaviors, responses and lives, the brain's limbic system, parasympathetic and vagus nerve system can normalize. 

Unfortunately, most who have suffered trauma want to heal, and yet struggle with allowing and accepting feeling "well" and "whole." This seems counterintuitive, however the underlying instinct is to remain vigilant as if the nervous system signals that it is "unsafe” to heal and be well. If one relaxes into safety and wellness, then

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Difficult People :: Saving Yourself From Crazy Makers And Gaslighting

Have you reached the end of your rope with the crazy makers in your life? I have them in my life as well, and even with psychological training, they frequently throw me off-course. You’ll never change them because that’s the very nature of crazy (so put your energy elsewhere!), you can however protect yourself. You are surrounded by them and you can't escape the insanity. They are your ex, colleagues, friends, lovers or family members--sometimes you even have to co-parent with them.

Perhaps your life demands regular contact with them, leaving you with feelings of dread and terror—you may also have somatic complaints or physical symptoms especially if you had a parent with similar behaviors and you are now re-experiencing the trauma! Crazy makers drain your energy and consistently engage in controlling, destructive, manipulative and reckless behaviors. Sadly, similar to a train off the tracks, they leave a path of destruction. Children are especially vulnerable to becoming collateral damage when a parent is a narcissist and/or psychopath.

What are some of these behaviors?

  • They set traps for you—it can be a no-win game

  • They are masters of distortion and manipulation

  • They create drama, drama and more drama

  • The exhibit excessive negativity

  • They display outbursts of rage and anger

  • They are frequently competitive and aggressive

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
#shrinkthinks :: Your Shadow Side

Embrace it and be free.

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular. -Carl Jung

We avoid our shadow selves by projecting onto others what we most reject about ourselves. We "split-off" or dissociate important aspects of ourselves, our unconscious thoughts, impulses, feelings and drives. In doing so, we develop as poorly integrated humans, out of balance, creating more acceptable (or so we imagine) "personas of light." To our detriment. Our repressed shadow self can become a destructive force, unconsciously driving our behaviors, our lives. What are your fears about connecting to your shadow?

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular. -Carl Jung

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Turmeric Elixir :: Body + Soul Love

I love experimenting with new recipes and especially healing tonics using teas, spices and essential oils that soothe and comfort. So, I was very excited to finally receive my copy of Whole Beauty by the lovely Shiva Rose (I'm addicted to her Glow Face Balm!), and after enjoying her luxurious, holistic practice rituals, I've decided to share her yummy Turmeric Golden Milk recipe. As someone who also struggles with an autoimmune issue, I watch my diet and do my best to avoid irritants and inflammatory foods. If you're feeling the need for self-care after a long and harsh winter, personal or professional burnout, or any personal struggle, I recommend her gorgeous book as an offering to yourself--a little TLC. Enjoy this recipe from Shiva Rose!

  • 1/8 teaspoon turmeric

  • 1/2 cup water

  • 8 ounces milk, preferably raw or any kind of milk or nut milk that you like

  • 2 tablespoons almond oil

  • Raw honey to taste

  • 1/8 teaspoon cardamom or ghee (optional)

  • 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper (optional)

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Engage Your Vagus Nerve :: Breathing Techniques For Relaxation And Insomnia Relief

Concerns about the long-term impact of chronic stress, depression, anxiety and insomnia is a topic of concern for many of my coaching and therapy clients. A few stressful, sleepless nights can easily spiral into a regular problem as clients begin to develop a negative relationship with bedtime and sleep. Many will seek the help of a psychiatrist to obtain prescription medications in an effort to break the cycle. Not a bad option in the short-term, but less than ideal as a long-term solution. I always recommend lifestyle modifications and attempts at simple changes in the environment first. Before we move to information about engaging your vagus nerve and the relaxation response, let's clear the path to create an optimal environment for sleep. 

How can you modify your environment to promote better sleep? In addition to dimming the lights and reducing evening electronic stimulation, some helpful evening rituals include the following:

  • meditation

  • focused breathing

  • biofeedback

  • guided imagery

  • progressive muscle relaxation

  • restorative yoga

  • gentle stretching to release tension in the body

  • a warm bath

  • a soothing warm drink such as milk, nut milk or non-caffeinated tea 

  • herbs and homeopathic support 

How are you breathing during the day? You may not be aware that throughout your busy day, your breathing has become shallow. Your thoughts likely contribute

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Your Erotic Life :: Do You Need Sex therapy?

Tell me more about your erotic life. I think it's important. As a sex-positive therapist, I am open to conventional partnerships as well as alternative lifestyles, identities, and gender expressions. It's all just normal expressions of love

  • Are you craving more exploration, surprise, mystery, novelty, excitement, desire and passion?

  • Does your partner feel like a child or parent, thus decreasing desire?

  • Do you struggle with sharing sexual concerns with your partner, especially your sexual desires and needs?

  • Are you struggling alone with personal sexual issues?

  • Do you worry about the frequency or lack of sexual frequency in your relationship?

  • Do you feel turned-off when your partner wants sex? 

  • Does your partner struggle with sexual dysfunction?

  • Do you feel sexually unfulfilled?

  • Are you struggling to heal from a boundary violation, sexual or emotional infidelity?

  • Is your relationship longterm, and you're feeling more like roommates than lovers?

  • Are you a new parent and having trouble with life/balance or feeling romantic and sexual again?

  • Are you having hormonal or drug-related side effects or chronic pain and medical concerns?    

For many reasons, sexuality changes throughout our lifetime--this is normal. It's important however to be able to openly discuss

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Therapist Or Coach :: What's The Difference?

When you are feeling stuck, overwhelmed or challenged by a particular situation, or life in general, you may be considering seeking professional help. There are so many available and effective choices to help you move forward with your life and in your online research, you may have stumbled upon outstanding sites such as Psychology Today. It is likely that you also feel overwhelmed with the many options--therapy, mentoring, life coaching, relationship support and groups for example. It's also important to understand your needs at this point in your life. Are you stuck deep in the mud, or are you perched and just about ready to take flight but in need of a little support?  

Whether your struggles are recent or longstanding, you may be challenged by many of the following: low self-esteem, depression, severe anxiety, residual trauma(s), family of origin issues, addictions, eating disorders, intense emotions and relationship struggles. When you're managing any of the above, it makes it very difficult, if not impossible to move forward using the help of the life coaching strategies that require action and accountability. Coaching is an elegant model for individuals who are healthy enough or who have resolved obstacles and conflicts that enable them to feel strong, deserving and able to receive

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
EMDR Therapy :: A Brief Explanation

EMDR Therapy or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a highly-successful and powerful healing technique that very effectively helps people who suffer from anxiety, panic, chronic sadness, negative self-concepts, trauma, disturbing memories and thoughts, PTSD or post traumatic stress and many other emotional problems. Until recently, psychotherapists and psychologists have used some combination of talk therapy and CBT in their efforts to help people overcome distress and suffering. While nothing beats the support of another human who is able to listen and be present during suffering, many of these traditional techniques do not resolve client symptoms or support healing at the level of the nervous system in the way that EMDR does. EMDR is considered a breakthrough therapy because of its ability to bring quick and lasting relief for most types of emotional distress. 

EMDR therapy uses bilateral stimulation, right/left eye movement, or tactile stimulation which activates opposite sides of the brain. As troubling images, feelings and self-concepts are processed by the brain using bilateral eye-movement patterns, resolution of the issues

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Self-Care :: Support For Traumatic Stress + Loss

Whether you're struggling to manage challenging life-events, a trauma or accident, loss and grief or any kind of transition that causes you distress or destabilization, it's helpful to understand that your feelings, emotions and behaviors are a normal reaction to extreme or disturbing events. As a psychotherapist who uses EMDR therapy, supportive work and a focus on helping clients develop healthier coping skills, I'm happy to share tips to support you as you move through difficult times. What helps?

  • Allow yourself to acknowledge and accept that you're experiencing something difficult and that your reactions are normal, but that you can manage. Remind yourself about how you've handled difficult situations in the past. What healthy skills did you call upon previously to help you cope during stressful times?
  • Ask for help. This is hard for many, but people can be quite kind when it comes to supporting others. This also requires that you allow yourself to receive help and manage feelings of shame related to needing help.
  • Take exquisite care of yourself, when you can. Show self-compassion and practice self-care. Giving yourself permission for a "time out" can help you feel stronger and more resilient
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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Boundary-Setting Mantra :: Sanity During The Holiday Season

The holiday season is one time of year that leaves many of us feeling vulnerable to stress and feelings of overwhelm. The season brings windows dressed with cheer and reminders of other people who appear carefree and happy, while many face the reality of family dysfunction, unrealistic expectations, loneliness, dark days and seasonal affective disorder, poor eating and drinking habits and loved ones who are no longer with us. Perhaps the seemingly happy folks are drunk, it's hard to know for sure. That said, social media now contributes a new platform for us to compare our own lives with the experiences of others, leading to even more isolation and despair. It is also a time when we may do less self-care than usual--at a time when we actually need a little more TLC.

This leads quite natural to the topic of boundaries. Who wants to be the bad guy and say no, right? Sometimes "no" is best for all. The holiday season is a perfect time to learn and practice self-protection. Boundary-setting is very much a learned skill that takes practice and often requires giving yourself permission to put yourself first. Do you know what you need? it's important to know your needs and to identify your own physical and emotional limits. Overload cues present to us in different forms. For some, it's a feeling or nudge

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Depression :: What's New And What Helps

It's the time of year when individuals vulnerable to mood difficulties begin to experience symptoms of depression. Therapists who treat depression and anxiety see an increase in requests for psychotherapy evaluations and treatment as the days become shorter and there is less available sunlight. If you're considering medication for depression, you've likely tried other things including: psychotherapy or talk therapy, exercise, sunlight, anti-inflammatory diets, supplements (SAMe, St John's Wort), extra B vitamins, fish oil and meditation or mindfulness, yet you're still struggling with symptoms. Depression is a complicated matter because there are many reasons people become depressed and different expressions of depression including: major depression, seasonal affective disorder (SAD), reactive depression, bipolar disorder, psychotic depression, premenstrual dysphoric disorder and postpartum depression, as examples.  

Because depression can be a challenge to treat, it's unlikely that one form of treatment will address all the symptoms of depression. For instance, individuals with a milder form of depression may respond positively to lifestyle changes such as exercising several times a week, yoga, meditation, supplements for brain and gut health, dietary changes, education about depression, connecting with friends and families and taking steps to avoid isolation. Working with a depression expert can help you develop skills to cope better, in addition to the connection that you develop with another human during the psychotherapy hour. Counseling

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
EMDR THERAPY FOR LASTING HEALING :: RESOLVING SEXUAL, EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE

The recent presidential election and divisiveness has activated and triggered many individuals who have unresolved trauma(s). As a Psychotherapist and trauma therapist with a private practice in New York City, I can share that many men and women have sought counseling to deal with trauma symptoms that have recently surfaced as a result of the accusations of sexual assault and boundary violations revealed during this recent election cycle. Clients state that they now feel empowered and sufficiently supported by others and the community at large to begin to tell their personal stories of rape, assault, boundary violations and inappropriate behaviors. Some have never shared their stories--not with trusted friends or even family members. For many, being in the presence of another, to receive their experience, help hold their fear and terror and help sort out confusion and reality can be extremely healing. Some who have suffered in silence will need more support. EMDR therapy is a therapy modality that can successfully heal these experiences from a neurological standpoint, as well as reduce the impact of painful memories, distorted self-concepts and further support healing the body. 

Many patients seek EMDR therapy following slow progress with traditional psychotherapy or when they feel they have not benefitted from traditional talk therapy, hypnosis or CBT. As a licensed psychotherapist in New York City, EMDR has become my technique of choice to treat a variety of concerns. After years of integrating it into my practice, I've experienced extraordinary success

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
ADDICTIONS, COMPULSIONS & ALCOHOL TREATMENT USING EMDR THERAPY

There are many forms of treatment that successfully help clients heal from addictions, compulsions, anxiety, unhealthy relationship dynamics, self-esteem problems and other behavior difficulties. Some of the most helpful therapies include: CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, DBT or Dialectical Behavior Therapy, interpersonal psychotherapy, 12 Step programs and body-oriented therapies such as Somatic Experiencing (SE) and EMDR Therapy. As an integrative psychotherapist, I have great respect for these psychotherapy modalities, and have had real success using some combination with my own clients. I find EMDR therapy to be the most effective form of therapy to address alcohol use, substance and behavioral addictions, compulsions, eating disorders and any underlying traumas that may have contributed to using substances and maintaining these behaviors. 

Dr. Robert Miller developed a protocol called the Feeling State Addictions Protocol or FSAP that uses EMDR therapy to focus on a very important piece of alcohol and other addictions. Pleasure. Mainly, that people rely on substances or behaviors because of the intense positive feeling it gave them initially and continues

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.