Posts in Heal
I'm An Introvert, And This Is What I've Learned

As an introvert, mostly what I've learned is that I am enough, just as I am. Yep, I'd rather be reading next to my sweetheart or hiking in nature than screaming small talk at an event. After reading Susan Cain's book Quiet some time ago, I've made peace with my previously-tortured, introverted "self" who frequently self-flagellated for feeling freakishly abnormal and ashamed that people, noise and extended social interactions left me seeking refuge in the nearest bathroom or quiet and solitude for days.

A few years ago, I was at a psychoanalytic event for eating disorders, chatting and doing my best at small-talking with other therapists. it was hot, bright and crowded! I found myself hugging the wall for comfort. I politely excused myself and rather frequently, to seek some space. At some point, a colleague looked at me, and rather intensely asked "do you have an eating disorder because you keep leaving? I do not, but I wanted to spill and say, "no, I'm actually an introvert and need to escape NOW because I’m feeling overwhelmed." Instead, I simply apologized and stated that I had some "phone calls to return." We are a society and culture that values extroversion—quiet people are often misunderstood, undervalued and asked to have qualities that they do not naturally possess. Faking being anything other than your true, authentic self comes at a price. 

I've since developed a great deal of acceptance and self-compassion for the way my brain and nervous system is wired, and as a result, how I need to function in the world. I make efforts to create situations that support my needs whenever I can. It is sometimes a challenge for me to make plans for next month or even a week from now, because I'm not sure how I'll feel on that day. Will I be able to rally for an event or social gathering when I need those resources the most? I've learned to embrace my brain differences, and have acceptance for my own needs. This includes my need for personal space, my need to retreat or create boundaries, and especially my need for recovery after extended social contact--it's a brain thing.

As it turns out, we now know that introverts need time to recharge and recover sometimes by

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Healing From Trauma :: Reclaim Your Identity

Traumatic experiences change the brain and it does so in an effort to protect us from future negative experiences. However, trauma and its symptoms do not have to hold us in its grip forever. As you continue to think, talk, re-tell and act on your experience(s), you reinforce your attachment to what happened, which exacerbates your symptoms and you loop on the upsetting memory and trauma responses. 

The body is designed to heal. We now know that the brain has an amazing capacity to heal by creating new neural pathways. This process is called neuroplasticity. When people are finally able to regain control over their thoughts, behaviors, responses and lives, the brain's limbic system, parasympathetic and vagus nerve system can normalize. 

Unfortunately, most who have suffered trauma want to heal, and yet struggle with allowing and accepting feeling "well" and "whole." This seems counterintuitive, however the underlying instinct is to remain vigilant as if the nervous system signals that it is "unsafe” to heal and be well. If one relaxes into safety and wellness, then

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Therapist Or Coach :: What's The Difference?

When you are feeling stuck, overwhelmed or challenged by a particular situation, or life in general, you may be considering seeking professional help. There are so many available and effective choices to help you move forward with your life and in your online research, you may have stumbled upon outstanding sites such as Psychology Today. It is likely that you also feel overwhelmed with the many options--therapy, mentoring, life coaching, relationship support and groups for example. It's also important to understand your needs at this point in your life. Are you stuck deep in the mud, or are you perched and just about ready to take flight but in need of a little support?  

Whether your struggles are recent or longstanding, you may be challenged by many of the following: low self-esteem, depression, severe anxiety, residual trauma(s), family of origin issues, addictions, eating disorders, intense emotions and relationship struggles. When you're managing any of the above, it makes it very difficult, if not impossible to move forward using the help of the life coaching strategies that require action and accountability. Coaching is an elegant model for individuals who are healthy enough or who have resolved obstacles and conflicts that enable them to feel strong, deserving and able to receive

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
EMDR Therapy :: A Brief Explanation

EMDR Therapy or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a highly-successful and powerful healing technique that very effectively helps people who suffer from anxiety, panic, chronic sadness, negative self-concepts, trauma, disturbing memories and thoughts, PTSD or post traumatic stress and many other emotional problems. Until recently, psychotherapists and psychologists have used some combination of talk therapy and CBT in their efforts to help people overcome distress and suffering. While nothing beats the support of another human who is able to listen and be present during suffering, many of these traditional techniques do not resolve client symptoms or support healing at the level of the nervous system in the way that EMDR does. EMDR is considered a breakthrough therapy because of its ability to bring quick and lasting relief for most types of emotional distress. 

EMDR therapy uses bilateral stimulation, right/left eye movement, or tactile stimulation which activates opposite sides of the brain. As troubling images, feelings and self-concepts are processed by the brain using bilateral eye-movement patterns, resolution of the issues

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Depression :: What's New And What Helps

It's the time of year when individuals vulnerable to mood difficulties begin to experience symptoms of depression. Therapists who treat depression and anxiety see an increase in requests for psychotherapy evaluations and treatment as the days become shorter and there is less available sunlight. If you're considering medication for depression, you've likely tried other things including: psychotherapy or talk therapy, exercise, sunlight, anti-inflammatory diets, supplements (SAMe, St John's Wort), extra B vitamins, fish oil and meditation or mindfulness, yet you're still struggling with symptoms. Depression is a complicated matter because there are many reasons people become depressed and different expressions of depression including: major depression, seasonal affective disorder (SAD), reactive depression, bipolar disorder, psychotic depression, premenstrual dysphoric disorder and postpartum depression, as examples.  

Because depression can be a challenge to treat, it's unlikely that one form of treatment will address all the symptoms of depression. For instance, individuals with a milder form of depression may respond positively to lifestyle changes such as exercising several times a week, yoga, meditation, supplements for brain and gut health, dietary changes, education about depression, connecting with friends and families and taking steps to avoid isolation. Working with a depression expert can help you develop skills to cope better, in addition to the connection that you develop with another human during the psychotherapy hour. Counseling

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
EMDR THERAPY FOR LASTING HEALING :: RESOLVING SEXUAL, EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE

The recent presidential election and divisiveness has activated and triggered many individuals who have unresolved trauma(s). As a Psychotherapist and trauma therapist with a private practice in New York City, I can share that many men and women have sought counseling to deal with trauma symptoms that have recently surfaced as a result of the accusations of sexual assault and boundary violations revealed during this recent election cycle. Clients state that they now feel empowered and sufficiently supported by others and the community at large to begin to tell their personal stories of rape, assault, boundary violations and inappropriate behaviors. Some have never shared their stories--not with trusted friends or even family members. For many, being in the presence of another, to receive their experience, help hold their fear and terror and help sort out confusion and reality can be extremely healing. Some who have suffered in silence will need more support. EMDR therapy is a therapy modality that can successfully heal these experiences from a neurological standpoint, as well as reduce the impact of painful memories, distorted self-concepts and further support healing the body. 

Many patients seek EMDR therapy following slow progress with traditional psychotherapy or when they feel they have not benefitted from traditional talk therapy, hypnosis or CBT. As a licensed psychotherapist in New York City, EMDR has become my technique of choice to treat a variety of concerns. After years of integrating it into my practice, I've experienced extraordinary success

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
ADDICTIONS, COMPULSIONS & ALCOHOL TREATMENT USING EMDR THERAPY

There are many forms of treatment that successfully help clients heal from addictions, compulsions, anxiety, unhealthy relationship dynamics, self-esteem problems and other behavior difficulties. Some of the most helpful therapies include: CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, DBT or Dialectical Behavior Therapy, interpersonal psychotherapy, 12 Step programs and body-oriented therapies such as Somatic Experiencing (SE) and EMDR Therapy. As an integrative psychotherapist, I have great respect for these psychotherapy modalities, and have had real success using some combination with my own clients. I find EMDR therapy to be the most effective form of therapy to address alcohol use, substance and behavioral addictions, compulsions, eating disorders and any underlying traumas that may have contributed to using substances and maintaining these behaviors. 

Dr. Robert Miller developed a protocol called the Feeling State Addictions Protocol or FSAP that uses EMDR therapy to focus on a very important piece of alcohol and other addictions. Pleasure. Mainly, that people rely on substances or behaviors because of the intense positive feeling it gave them initially and continues

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Eating Disorders :: Mindfulness Or Distractions--What Works Best

As a therapist who treats clients with Eating Disorders, I am constantly reminded of the need for an integrative treatment approach and psychotherapy that addresses the complexities that ED's present for clients. Does Mindfulness help or hinder eating disorder recovery? The best answer may be that it depends on the nature of the eating disorder, and the stage of treatment. This is a much-debated topic within the ED treatment community.

Mindfulness, in addition to DBT Skills can be incredibly helpful for patients and clients in recovery, and in many aspects of their lives, especially when trying to manage powerful emotions and regulate mood. Some clients have reported that attempts at mindfulness early in recovery, especially during meals, creates intolerable anxiety and distress that interferes with the process of eating. Clients with Anorexia Nervosa find that distraction is the most helpful way to eat. "Thinking" about what's being consumed and eaten in early ED recovery is described as excruciating by clients. Distraction allows them to "pair" an enjoyable activity with mealtime, which is a very different experience than meals with the demand that they be "mindful" of excruciating feelings of fullness and any other sensations.

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
#shrinkthinks On EMDR :: Voice Of The Patient

If you're curious about how EMDR psychotherapy can help you resolve trauma, negative experiences and other challenges, please enjoy this short YouTube video that includes the voices of clients who now experience freedom and hope as a result of their EMDR treatment. Not just for trauma resolution, EMDR psychotherapy is an effective treatment for a variety of concerns including: eating disorders, addictions, compulsions, phobias, guilt, depression, anxiety, shame, negative self-concept, performance problems, self-sabotage, feeling "stuck" and more. You can learn about EMDR, or find an EMDR therapist by visiting EMDRIA and by watching this video.

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
EMDR Therapy :: Getting "Unstuck" And Healing The Nervous System

As a psychotherapist and coach in Manhattan, I treat clients with a range of concerns from stress and life challenges to recovery from addictions and trauma. Many have suffered developmental trauma(s) or single incident trauma and now have symptoms of PTSD which impacts many aspects of their lives, including personal relationships and work. In order to understand EMDR, one needs to be clear about how trauma can affect the brain.

When an individual experiences a traumatic event or multiple traumas they may develop what is known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD as a response to the overwhelming event(s). When this occurs, the brain fails to successfully process the trauma leaving it "stuck" or "frozen" in the central nervous system. This often leads to numbness, dissociation, severe anxiety, depression, insomnia, addictions, physical complaints and an inability to experience "safety." In everyday life, in the "here and now," the body fails to recognize that the person is now "safe" and it reacts as though the danger is current and in present time, leaving the individual in a state of emotional and physical arousal.

EMDR therapy as a treatment is unique because it facilitates the processing of trauma information that has become "stuck" in the central nervous system. The various elements

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
#shrinkthinks DBT DIY :: Making A Distress Tolerance Kit For Healthier Coping

Whether you're trying to manage eating disorder symptoms or alcohol/substance abuse problems, creating a "coping skills" toolbox--a place to keep things that can help you feel calmer and more grounded is a practical and helpful tactic in supporting your recovery goals. Instead of using symptoms and negative behaviors, turning to your toolbox can give you other options that immediately engage your five senses and include healthier distractions, self-soothing strategies and making different choices in the moment!

TOOLBOX TIPS

What you will need for your self-regulation and coping toolbox:

  • Tactile (something to feel) - textures, warm or cold objects, stuffed animal, stress ball, the ground beneath your feet

  • Visual (something to see or look at) - flowers, photos, art, vivid colors

  • Auditory (something to hear) - music, focusing on sounds in the environment, meditation guides, books on tape

  • Olfactory (something to smell) - essential oils, perfume, candles

  • Gustatory (something to taste) - gum, mints, sweet or sour candies

DISTRACTION TIPS

How to Distract yourself when you have the urge to reward yourself in negative ways or when you have self-destructive urges:

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NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.