Posts in Practice
How To Set Boundaries :: Stress Less And Avoid Burnout During The Holidays

“Plays well with others” but also takes fierce care of herself! As a Manhattanite, a stroll down Fifth Avenue this time of year reveals that holiday mania is indeed upon us. It’s the season for parties, events, presents, travel and family—also exhaustion! That bone-deep fatigue that sets intermittently and certainly after the holiday season because you have more things to do and less time for self-care and reflection.

Feelings of overwhelm and overcommitment, the season seems to deliver more frenzy, panic, anxiety, sadness and other emotions and behaviors than peace and joy. As a Manhattan-based Psychotherapist and Coach, I work with busy New Yorkers, especially highly perfectionistic, busy women, who have seemingly boundless reservoirs of energy—that is until they crash! What follows are some tips to help you flow through the season of light without burning yourself out.

Learning to have healthier boundaries is a great place to start! You instinctively move away from someone when they move too close to you. That’s a healthy and adaptive response, and so is setting boundaries with others. You may have learned to acquiesce to the needs of others for many reasons—that’s an old story for you, and now, like many narratives, a part of your “self” that you’d like to rescue. Here are some easy tips…

  1. Learn to say NO without feeling guilty - Guilt is an important response to many things, and helps you develop properly. It’s also not always warranted, overused, reflexive and habitual. It’s not easy but you can learn to say NO. It gets easier with practice but you’ll feel proud of yourself, you may also learn that others will still love you (even if they have a less than ideal response to the new you who says NO). The biggest win is that you’ll free yourself up for things that really

Read More
NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
#shrinkthinks :: Your Shadow Side

Embrace it and be free.

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular. -Carl Jung

We avoid our shadow selves by projecting onto others what we most reject about ourselves. We "split-off" or dissociate important aspects of ourselves, our unconscious thoughts, impulses, feelings and drives. In doing so, we develop as poorly integrated humans, out of balance, creating more acceptable (or so we imagine) "personas of light." To our detriment. Our repressed shadow self can become a destructive force, unconsciously driving our behaviors, our lives. What are your fears about connecting to your shadow?

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular. -Carl Jung

Read More
NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.
Boundary-Setting Mantra :: Sanity During The Holiday Season

The holiday season is one time of year that leaves many of us feeling vulnerable to stress and feelings of overwhelm. The season brings windows dressed with cheer and reminders of other people who appear carefree and happy, while many face the reality of family dysfunction, unrealistic expectations, loneliness, dark days and seasonal affective disorder, poor eating and drinking habits and loved ones who are no longer with us. Perhaps the seemingly happy folks are drunk, it's hard to know for sure. That said, social media now contributes a new platform for us to compare our own lives with the experiences of others, leading to even more isolation and despair. It is also a time when we may do less self-care than usual--at a time when we actually need a little more TLC.

This leads quite natural to the topic of boundaries. Who wants to be the bad guy and say no, right? Sometimes "no" is best for all. The holiday season is a perfect time to learn and practice self-protection. Boundary-setting is very much a learned skill that takes practice and often requires giving yourself permission to put yourself first. Do you know what you need? it's important to know your needs and to identify your own physical and emotional limits. Overload cues present to us in different forms. For some, it's a feeling or nudge

Read More
NYC Online Therapy + Coaching for Manhattan professionals, high-profile clients, KIMBERLY SEELBREDE, MSW, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, Coach & Mind-Body Consultant in private practice providing psychotherapy, coaching and psychological consultations nationally and internationally for individuals and couples in transition, crisis or just needing solution-focused support.