#shrinkthinks - Using GIVE To Have Effective Relationships

GIVE is a helpful mnemonic device borrowed from DBT treatment that helps people have better, more effective communication and enhances relationships. If you struggle with social problems and staying in the conversation, give this a try...

  1. Gentle - Have a gentle manner even if you are upset or angry. The goal is to treat people with kindness and respect. Always.
  2. Interested - Strive to be interested in what other people say. When you make an effort to really listen, appropriate eye contact and nodding will help others feel that you are attending to them. 
  3. Validate - Use the technique of reflecting back what others say. This helps them feel validated when they share their thoughts and feelings. But be authentic, really try to identify with what they are sharing.
  4. Easy Manner - Show an easy manner when communicating. This is difficult when you struggle with social anxiety, dissociation or other problems, but try to ground yourself and maintain awareness of your body posture, the tone of your voice, the volume as you speak, as examples.

I would also add that making observations instead of judgments is a good strategy always as it relates to effective and healthier communications. Learn more about NVC or Non-Violent Communication here. Shoot me an email if you find this helpful!

Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, EMDR Therapist and Personal Coach with a private practice in New York City. As a clinician who is passionate about the interplay between mind and body, she practices mind-body psychotherapy, providing holistic counseling and coaching for her clients. Her counseling modalities include: psychoanalytic psychotherapy EMDR therapy, CBT, DBT, mindfulness, crisis counseling and coaching with expertise in anxiety, depression, pain and chronic disease management, eating disorders (anorexia, binge eating, bulimia), addictions, alcoholism, trauma resolution, relationship + marital difficulties, women's issues (postpartum depression, new parent, divorce, separation, hormone imbalance), performance blocks, self-defeating behaviors, loss, grief, loneliness, self-esteem issues, post-rehab support and sexual problems. Via Skype, Kim Seelbrede provides life coaching, executive, personal and career coaching. Kim Seelbrede works with celebrities and high-profile individuals as well as high-level entrepreneurs and Fortune 500 executives around the world including London, Hong Kong, New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Boston, Connecticut and Washington. Her professional personal and executive coaching services are tailored to each clients individual needs and targets concerns such as feeling stagnate and stuck, self-assertion, self-sabotage, substance abuse, pain management, chronic illness, work/life balance, performance problems, communication challenges, anxiety and stress management/reduction.

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