#shrinkthinks - How To Use FAST To Gain Self Respect In Relationships

FAST is a wonderful mnemonic device to help you gain enhanced self-respect and increased self-esteem as you negotiate easy and even the more challenging interpersonal situations that you may encounter in your daily life. It's borrowed from the truly awesome DBT treatment and here's how it goes...

  1. Fair - Be fair when you negotiate. Make sure that you accurately interpret situations. When working with others, one goal may be to come to solutions that are ethical and benefit everyone involved.
  2. Apologies - No, do not apologize for disagreeing because doing that contradicts your values. You have a right to your opinion and viewpoint. This is about being true to yourself because you gotta learn to love you.
  3. Stick - Stick to your values. Boldly. Not sure what your values are? Work with a therapist, coach, trusted friend or parent to help you get clear about where you stand on things. Never soften on your values to make others happy or to gain their favor. This erodes your sense of self.
  4. Truthful - Be truthful when you communicate. Authenticity and honesty helps you feel better about yourself, which leads to a happier and more authentic life. Again, this is hard if you're a people pleaser, but people will respect you more, and you'll love yourself for it. 

Stay tuned for more #shrinkthinks and DBT self-help.

Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a licensed Psychotherapist, EMDR Therapist and Personal Coach with a private practice in New York City. As a clinician who is passionate about the interplay between mind and body, she practices mind-body psychotherapy, providing holistic counseling and coaching for her clients. Her counseling modalities include: psychoanalytic psychotherapy EMDR therapy, CBT, DBT, mindfulness, crisis counseling and coaching with expertise in anxiety, depression, pain and chronic disease management, eating disorders (anorexia, binge eating, bulimia), addictions, alcoholism, trauma resolution, relationship + marital difficulties, women's issues (postpartum depression, new parent, divorce, separation, hormone imbalance), performance blocks, self-defeating behaviors, loss, grief, loneliness, self-esteem issues, post-rehab support and sexual problems. Via Skype, Kim Seelbrede provides life coaching, executive, personal and career coaching. Kim Seelbrede works with celebrities and high-profile individuals as well as high-level entrepreneurs and Fortune 500 executives around the world including London, Hong Kong, New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Boston, Connecticut and Washington. Her professional personal and executive coaching services are tailored to each clients individual needs and targets concerns such as feeling stagnate and stuck, self-assertion, self-sabotage, substance abuse, pain management, chronic illness, work/life balance, performance problems, communication challenges, anxiety and stress management/reduction.

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Beauty Queen: A Memoir to be released late 2016