I love it when you stumble upon something just when you need it the most. Even as a therapist with lots of human behavior training, I too, have people in my life who create pain and suffering for me, and by extension, those I love the most. Or, to put it differently, there are ways in which I allow myself to be hurt by the actions of others. Unfortunately, I can't and don't always apply what I know to protect myself. But like everyone else here on planet Earth, my personal learning journey continues. The learning curve is different for everyone.
Whether you're trying to recover from abuse and suffering that is physical or psychological in nature, you can heal and find relief. Tiny Buddha delivers a lovely article on how to help you heal from emotional and physical pain. The article illuminates some very important key issues such as the reality that we can't always expect those who have hurt us to take responsibility or understand the nature and impact of their negative behavior on us and others by extension. So don't expect your serenity to come from someone making amends to you. I know people who attend 12-step programs, who decades later, still have not worked that step. Also, acknowledging the fact that you may have created, and on some level, even enjoy the identity of being "the harmed victim." This identity really doesn't serve you or provide for you the happier life that you deserve going forward. The author explains what you may imagine that you are getting from the "pain identity" and how to release it.
Mostly, what I hope you get out of the helpful article is how to protect yourself in the here and now by setting boundaries and taking responsibility for protecting yourself from future harm in addition to finding healthy outlets for pain and trauma. People who behave badly will continue to do bad things -- you can however not be the target for their own inadequate self-worth, pain, suffering, envy, greed, aggression, past trauma or whatever may be fueling their abusive behavior. Bullies bully, period. That's old news. You can, however, show yourself compassion and forgiveness for any role that you feel you may have played in your current pain, change your relationship to pain and suffering and move on. Live your own life of integrity and dignity, and model that for others who may need it. Enjoy the article here... 10 Happiness Tips for People Who Have Been Hurt by Lori Deschene at Tiny Buddha.
If you have PTSD symptoms as a result of physical or emotional abuse, you may need a skilled therapist to help you process, resolve and recover from your suffering. There are many effective mind-body therapies that don't require reliving and talking about the pain.
Kim Seelbrede is a former Miss USA and a New York City psychotherapist, coach, consultant and EMDR therapist who specializes in a holistic approach to therapy and coaching, working with adults, adolescents and couples. Kimberly is trained to collaborate with you in developing the insight and coping skills to address many concerns including: relationships, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, self-esteem, self-harm, ADD, ADHD, social difficulties, adolescent challenges, family issues, underachievement, perfectionism, identity and sexuality concerns, addictions, compulsions, OCD, binge eating, PTSD, trauma, transitions, life purpose, spirituality, health concerns, weight management, stress management, performance problems, life balance, meditation and mindfulness support. Please email her to arrange a consultation in her Manhattan office or online via Skype.
Kim completed her graduate studies at New York University and has advanced post-graduate certificates in psychodynamic psychotherapy from NYU and interpersonal and relational training for eating disorders, compulsions and addictions from the White Institute. She holds an advanced certificate to practice EMDR therapy as well as specialized training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), DBT skills, Non-Violent Communication (NVC), and applies the work of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and her training with The Gottman Institute in her work with couples. She Is a Mindfulness practitioner and registered yoga therapist (200 + 500 RYT) trained with the Urban Zen Foundation.
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