When you work with couples, the topic of sex is likely to surface at some point. If it doesn't, that becomes interesting, and something worthy of exploring during relationship counseling. Sex is complicated! It's an area that suffers when other problems and conflicts arise within the relationship. Sex, or lack of it, can be impacted by stress, anger, illness, hormones, parenting and other life challenges. Some people use sex to reward or punish their partner. Individuals certainly have varying levels of interest in sex. We know that one's ability to enjoy their sexuality can be impacted by many factors including: family of origin, culture, religion, media messages, past experiences and sexual trauma. People get lazy, especially in long-term relationships.
Yes, sex is important, and great sex is even better. It helps if you can see your partner, and your partner's body as a source of pleasure. You should see your body as a source of pleasure, because it is. People who are connected to their sexual energy are attractive and interesting. The intimacy and release of the bonding hormone oxytocin that occurs during sex helps keep you close. Oxytocin feels good, and makes you glow all over. Sex is a form of communication -- It's important to be curious about your needs and the needs of your partner. Your sensuality can make your life richer and fuller. Your sexual energy can keep you engaged in your life and spark your creativity and productivity. Having satisfying sex can help keep your relationship alive, fun and vibrant. You can also turn to sex and intimacy during challenging times as a source of comfort. You can even have sex in your eighties (it might be a bit different than it was in your thirties, or not). While I believe it's important to talk about issues that may be negatively impacting your life and relationship, sometimes it's important to just have sex. Touch your partner. It's a good place to start