Posts tagged addictions
Difficult People :: Saving Yourself From Crazy Makers And Gaslighting

Have you reached the end of your rope with the crazy makers in your life? I have them in my life as well, and even with psychological training, they frequently throw me off-course. You’ll never change them because that’s the very nature of crazy (so put your energy elsewhere!), you can however protect yourself. You are surrounded by them and you can't escape the insanity. They are your ex, colleagues, friends, lovers or family members--sometimes you even have to co-parent with them.

Perhaps your life demands regular contact with them, leaving you with feelings of dread and terror—you may also have somatic complaints or physical symptoms especially if you had a parent with similar behaviors and you are now re-experiencing the trauma! Crazy makers drain your energy and consistently engage in controlling, destructive, manipulative and reckless behaviors. Sadly, similar to a train off the tracks, they leave a path of destruction. Children are especially vulnerable to becoming collateral damage when a parent is a narcissist and/or psychopath.

What are some of these behaviors?

  • They set traps for you—it can be a no-win game

  • They are masters of distortion and manipulation

  • They create drama, drama and more drama

  • The exhibit excessive negativity

  • They display outbursts of rage and anger

  • They are frequently competitive and aggressive

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

#shrinkthinks On EMDR :: Voice Of The Patient

If you're curious about how EMDR psychotherapy can help you resolve trauma, negative experiences and other challenges, please enjoy this short YouTube video that includes the voices of clients who now experience freedom and hope as a result of their EMDR treatment. Not just for trauma resolution, EMDR psychotherapy is an effective treatment for a variety of concerns including: eating disorders, addictions, compulsions, phobias, guilt, depression, anxiety, shame, negative self-concept, performance problems, self-sabotage, feeling "stuck" and more. You can learn about EMDR, or find an EMDR therapist by visiting EMDRIA and by watching this video.

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Breaking Down Your Wall - Go Slow

Sensitive souls tend to wrap themselves up in layers, either symbolic or concrete, to avoid having their "true self" exposed. They fear being seen, criticized or somehow judged as wrong -- the secret self has it's own life that operates just beneath the surface. Some individuals have a greater awareness of these "self parts" than others. The need to protect may come and go or be more heightened in certain circumstances, and not others. Many of my psychotherapy and counseling patients who have suffered childhood abuse or trauma may now, in their current lives, wear protective layers of clothing, or even gain weight in an effort to create a layer of protective armor. Some had

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

DBT Skills: Get What You Want And Need Using D-E-A-R-M-A-N

D-E-A-R M-A-N is a mnemonic device developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan and is an important aspect of DBT treatment or Dialectical Behavior Therapy. What's the goal of this clever tool? It was developed to help people remember to use effective communication as a means to have healthier relationships and to get needs met in a healthy manner. If we are to have healthy, satisfying relationships, it is important to feel capable and competent in our interactions with others. Good communication includes feeling understood and that our expectations can be met. When communication is not clear and effective, relationships suffer leading to misunderstandings, unmet needs and resentment. How can DBT 

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

#shrinkthinks - Holding The Consequences

Practice the imaginal technique of holding the desire to act out or do something that you know doesn't serve you in one hand (left hand: I really want to have that third drink because I'm out and having so much fun with friends) and the consequences in the other hand (right hand: three drinks turns into seven and then I'm sloppy drunk-texting former lovers, or worse!). This is your imagination, so really hold them in your hand -- feel the weight, color and texture of these two very different actions. Remember this applies to many things, like food, shopping and other reckless behaviors, impulses or compulsive behaviors. Try this:

Doing (fill in the blanks) only helps or feels good for a short amount of time, but then it just makes things worse later. I can say no, or cope without it for another hour because the consequences suck! One hour at a time.

You can also write this down, two columns on a sheet of paper, and tuck it away in your wallet. Pull it out as needed.

#shrinkthinks

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

Young Living Essential Oils & Integrative Therapy Techniques

During my yoga and integrative therapy training with the Urban Zen Foundation, I was introduced to Young Living Essential Oils as a modality to be added to a meditation or yoga practice. I fell in love with these oils and use them daily in my life and in my home. I have also discovered how useful aromatherapy can be when clients are struggling with complex issues such as: healing from trauma, anxiety and mild depression, stress reduction and self-soothing when recovering from addictions and eating disorders. I regularly use these oils in my practice when treating patients with EMDR Therapy, Brainspotting and Somatic Experiencing techniques. Many integrative therapists

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.

About Co-Occurring Disorders

When clients present with addictions and substance abuse, we typically find that other problems exist in addition to the substances and behaviors, and are part of a larger, more complex picture. Substance and process addictions are often the solution that clients use to manage a range of emotional states as well as early traumas.  Co-occurring disorders or COD refers to mental health problems that are combined with alcohol or substance abuse. The addiction or substance use aspect is often used to self-medicate a mental health issue such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, Asperger's, PTSD and personality disorders. Common examples of COD's include alcohol addiction with panic disorder, poly-substance use with schizophrenia and personality disorders such as Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD and major depression or Bipolar disorder with cocaine abuse. It's not uncommon for individuals to have more than two disorders such as

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Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York City Psychotherapist + Consultant who splits her time between Manhattan and Santa Fe, providing online therapy to individuals and couples. With extensive training and experience, she provides psychological consultation, psychotherapy, EMDR therapy and executive coaching to a range of clients including VIP's + high-profile clients. As a women's emotional health + relationship expert, her specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma resolution, addictions, relationship, intimacy and sexual concerns, health + autoimmune issues, loss + grief and women's mentoring. She enjoys writing, photography, yoga, meditation, travel and really good key lime pie. She lives with her husband, psychologist, scholar and mindfulness expert John Chambers Christopher. For more, subscribe to her newsletter or connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Psychology Today, EMDRIA and her personal websites KimSeelbrede.com, Santa Fe Integrative Psychotherapy or Well+Being Blog.