Therapy Or Coaching: Choosing The Best Fit For You
Let’s begin with therapy. What is therapy?
Therapy, also known as counseling and psychotherapy, is a short-term or longer-term process in which a patient or client works with a licensed mental health professional to resolve problem beliefs, patterns, feelings, behaviors and relational patterns. Therapy tends to focus on past traumas, experiences and issues that are interfering with one’s sense of self and life-satisfaction. Therapy guides patients through the process of self-discovery, uncovering the internal conflicts and dynamics that keep them from having a more satisfying, meaningful and successful life.
Yes, personal coaches and therapists tend to help clients with similar problems, their work is not the same.
What is life coaching?
In life coaching, a client works with a coach who may or may not be a healthcare professional to clarify goals and identify barriers to success in order to create an action plan to move forward. A life coach focuses on where the client is in their life and helps them to create an action plan to work towards their goals.
The challenges that keep us stuck…
When you are feeling stuck, overwhelmed or challenged by a particular situation, or life in general, you may be considering seeking professional therapy or coaching. You have so many options now especially with online virtual therapy and coaching, and of course, helpful websites like Psychology Today, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. As you search to find a therapist or coach, it is likely that one of these ways of working—therapy, mentoring, coaching—is a better fit for you. It's also important to understand your needs at this point in your life—what areas of your life are you struggling with? Are you stuck because you have some obstacles or mental health concerns that are interfering with your life-goals? Or are you perched and just about ready to take flight but in need of a some support?
Whether your current struggles are recent or longstanding, you may be challenged by many of the following concerns: low self-esteem, depression, severe anxiety, unresolved trauma(s), family of origin issues, addictions, eating disorders, perfectionism, self-sabotage, intense emotions and relationship struggles. When you're managing any of the above, it makes it very difficult, if not impossible, to move forward using the help of the life coaching strategies. Generally, you will bump up against these problems again and again, and even the best coaching strategies will fail you. If you’ve experienced failure with coaching, an experienced therapist can help you identify the many ways that addiction, self-sabotage, anxiety or perfectionism, as examples, can interfere with your coaching success. These patterns and obstacles and provide you with a safe space to help you heal traumas and wounds that may be sabotaging your current life. Once you've experienced some healing and resilience, you may be ready to carry on with your goals of creating a better life for yourself.
Coaching is an elegant model for individuals who are less hindered by emotional and psychological concerns allowing you to fully use and receive all the strength-building that effective coaching can offer. Coaches can give you the tools and support, but certain emotional or mental health challenges will still be present, or come to the surface once again, leaving you feeling worse.
Coaching attracts individuals who would be better served working with licensed therapists…
Unfortunately, many individuals who would be better served by working with a trained mental health professional are drawn to life coaching because of the mental health stigma attached to psychotherapy, therapy and counseling. Many coaches are providing services to clients that are unethical and illegal, as well as unsafe and dangerous for clients who are not ready for coaching. They attempt to navigate, and are not trained to recognize potential problems that will certainly arise during coaching efforts—put simply, they work outside their scope of competence putting someone with depression, unresolved trauma, psychosis or other challenges at risk.
Relationship coaching and counseling also requires an exquisite understanding and specialized training regarding the complex dynamics that occur with the individual as well as patterns that arise and are triggered within the relationship as a result of individual experiences that impact the couple.
online or in-person sessions?
What follows are a few tips to make finding an online coach or therapist a little bit easier. It is a convenient way to seek help especially with family challenges, physical or medical challenges and when geography and time constraints makes it difficult to meet face-to-face. Coaches have always worked remotely, by phone or video. Therapists are now able to work remotely with insurance reimbursement for many.
As a licensed psychotherapist who provides online therapy in New York and coaching outside of Manhattan, I'm experienced with the pros and cons of providing emotional support using both in-person and online modalities. Here are my thoughts about choosing an online therapist:
It's not for everyone. Individuals with serious mental illnesses or who are at risk are better served by in-person sessions. Professionals learn a lot by actually seeing their clients and assessing week-to-week functioning.
Some clients are actually more comfortable being in their own environment; they may feel less inhibited expressing feelings and emotions and being vulnerable during sessions. That said, it's somewhat problematic to miss body language using online treatment.
When choosing a mental health professional, it's important that they have graduate training in psychology, social work, marriage and family therapy or counseling. It's helpful, especially when seeking a specialist, that therapists have post-graduate specialty training beyond graduate school and expertise in the area that you're interested in. You can check to ensure that professionals have up-to-date licenses with the state that you reside in. Professionals will be happy to provide their license numbers.
Ask about insurance especially if paying out-of-pocket is not an option for you. Some states are now covering online therapy but you will need to ask your insurance company about reimbursement.
Make sure you have privacy. I can ensure that on my end, however it's important that you have privacy as well. You may also opt for a HIPPA-compliant platform instead of FaceTime, Skype, Zoom or others.
Inquire about their expertise and specialties. If you suffer from fear and anxiety, it's best to find a professional who has experience with a range of anxiety-related difficulties. Couples require professionals who are trained to help with interpersonal and relational challenges as well as understand patterns and dynamics.
Serious depression and other serious concerns such as trauma, PTSD, psychotic disorders, eating disorders, some addictions and bipolar depression should be treated in-person to ensure safety and quality of care.
If you are interested in goal-setting, health and wellness management, career concerns, motivational issues, self-esteem, habits and advice about a challenging situation, some life coaches are able to help in these areas. There are benefits to working with a trained mental health professional who is in the best position to understand the complicated dynamics behind self-defeating patterns and other obstacles that make it difficult for clients to experience the satisfaction they desire. Do your research and ask if a potential therapist or coach will consult with you briefly to see if you are a good match for what they have to offer.
Many therapists combine therapy and coaching, or thera-coaching, to offer a hybrid form of help that may be a good fit for you. Some highly-trained therapists use exceptional modalities such as CBT, EMDR and IFS to super-charge coaching sessions.
About Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness Manhattan
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York State licensed Psychotherapist, EMDR Practitioner and Couple Therapist with a private practice in New York City, Montana and virtually. As a wellness psychotherapist and holistic consultant, she has receive advanced, extensive training in Trauma Therapy, Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Somatic Experiencing (SE), and Nutrition & Integrative Medicine For Mental Health. She is passionate about honoring the exquisite interplay of the mind-body connection. Kimberly Seelbrede specializes in anxiety & mood disorders, trauma and women’s mental health. She brings over 20 years of counseling, coaching, and healing experience to her holistic practice and transformational work.
In addition to online therapy for anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship struggles, Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness offers a wide variety of online services to fit the needs of busy professionals. New Yorkers often lead fast-paced and complex lives, which makes work-life balance and managing career, family and social obligations a challenge. Psychotherapy and wellness practices provides the support to help clients cultivate resources, resilience and enhanced emotional health, as well as uncover conflicts and obstacles that may interfere with having the life they desire.