Creating Your Daily Refuge With The “Safe Place” Exercise
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is one of the more powerful and transformative therapies designed to help individuals heal from distressing memories and traumatic experiences. As a licensed psychotherapist in New York, I have been providing EMDR therapy for many years now. While I enjoy offering a variety of therapeutic modalities, I consistently return to EMDR therapy because it is so very effective!
One of EMDR’s essential elements is introduced in the initial EMDR protocol, and it’s called “Safe Place” resourcing. In EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, the Safe Place exercise is a foundational technique used in the early phases of treatment to create a soothing resource in the nervous system. It is designed to help clients access a mental or emotional "safe space” they can visualize when experiencing distressing memories or emotions during the therapeutic process.
Finding a Safe Place isn't always easy for many individuals, especially those who have experienced significant trauma(s). But with the help of an experienced therapist, it’s possible to create this experience in this imaginal exercise to help create a sense of peace and calm in the nervous system.
The Safe Place can serve as a coping mechanism to help clients manage feelings of distress, anxiety, or overwhelm that may arise during EMDR processing or later at some point in their life. It's an essential tool for grounding and self-soothing. The safe place can be a real or imagined location. A memory or imagined place that helps the client feel secure, calm, and protected. Eventually, Safe Place can become a regular resource that you can create and return to on your own, whenever stressors arise.
Can you do this on your own
Yes, and that depends. If you’ve had significant trauma, it’s best to find an experienced therapist or counselor with a trauma-informed practice to guide you through this process. Many have suffered trauma(s) alone, and attempting to heal this trauma alone may not be the most supportive option for you. Developing a trusting relationship with a therapist can help you feel less alone in your healing process and can lead to what we call a “corrective emotional experience.”
Suppose You Feel Comfortable Developing This Resource Independently. In that case, it can be beneficial not only for trauma recovery but for anyone seeking a safe space to foster restoration and relaxation, or emotional regulation during stressful times.
Let’s learn to create a Safe Place together…
About Safe Place
Safe Place is a mental image that evokes feelings of safety and nervous system regulation. It can be a real place from your past or an imaginary place. This imaginal place of refuge will be your resource to begin healing and finding peace. If you’re practicing this alone or with your EMDR therapist, you will be guided to create and vividly imagine a "safe" environment. This place can be anywhere—a favorite vacation spot, a childhood home, a cozy room or space in your home, or even an imaginary location (like a peaceful forest or beach).
How it works
Sense: You are encouraged to focus on sensory details that enhance your sense of safety and calm. This includes sights, sounds, smells, textures, and even the temperature. The more vivid and sensory-rich the image, the more effective it will be as a resource for you. This isn’t always easy, and if it feels too difficult or if all your safe places feel complicated in some way, it might be best for you to do this exercise with a trained professional where you will feel supported.
Visual: Picture your Safe Place, noting colors, shapes, and objects.
Sound: Imagine sounds like leaves rustling, bird sounds, or the flow of water in a nearby river, bringing it to life.
Smell: Notice the scent of your safe place, such as the scent of your garden, the smell of fallen leaves, or your beloved grandmother’s perfume.
Texture: Feel the textures if you can. What does the wind feel like? Can you feel the mist of water from the shore? Notice the texture of your cozy blanket.
Temperature: Notice the temperature. Can you feel the warmth of the sun? Is there a breeze that moves your hair?
Connect: Build an emotional connection to your new Safe Place. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that may be connected to this place. Not judging these emotions, just allowing them to be present. Do you feel sadness, longing, nostalgia, safety, or something else?
Grow: Allow yourself to stay in this place as long as you can or need to. Notice what it’s like to feel calm. Where do you feel this in your body? “Marinate” in it, as I like to say. The goal is to create a new neural network of emotional safety. This is the science of neuroplasticity: grow the positive and deepen the connection of this network.
Practice: Spend a few moments daily visualizing your safe place. If you know about tapping and bilateral stimulation, you can use this technique to reinforce your imagery. The “butterfly hug” method is popular due to its soothing nature and accessibility when needed. Google has many solid references to the butterfly hug method.
Modify: You don’t need to stay with your original imaginal Safe Place choice. Your needs may change and it’s okay to create another place of refuge.
Accessing the Safe Place
The goal is to be able to return to this place again and again when you feel distressed so that your nervous system can become regulated again. If working with a therapist, you can practice accessing the safe place at will. If you are actively working towards healing with EMDR, Safe Place is a foundation for you to turn to if you become distressed during later phases of EMDR processing (e.g., when confronting traumatic memories), you can return to this safe space for comfort, and stabilization.
When It's Used in EMDR Therapy
Before Trauma Processing: The Safe Place exercise is typically introduced early in the therapy process, often during Phase 2 (Preparation) of the 8-phase EMDR protocol, which occurs after the therapist has established a rapport with the client.
During Processing: If a client becomes overwhelmed while processing trauma, the therapist may encourage them to "return" to the Safe Place to regulate their emotional state.
After Processing: The safe place can also be used after difficult memories or emotions are processed, helping the client to feel a sense of closure, peace, or safety.
What are the Benefits of doing a safe place exercise?
Emotional Regulation: It helps the client manage strong emotional reactions by providing a mental refuge.
Resilience: The safe place becomes an internal resource that can help the client feel more resilient when facing difficult memories or triggers.
Empowerment: It can foster a sense of agency, as the client learns they have the ability to return to a peaceful, controlled environment whenever needed.
The Safe Place technique can be particularly helpful for clients who may feel emotionally vulnerable or who have experienced significant trauma. It allows them to build a sense of stability and safety that they can rely on throughout the therapeutic journey. Safe Place can become your place of refuge. You may find that this exercise can be a regular place that you return to for healing and comfort.
Heal your nervous system with EMDR & Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness Manhattan
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is an experienced New York State licensed Psychotherapist, EMDR Practitioner, and Couple Therapist with a private practice in New York City, Montana, and virtually. As a psychotherapist and holistic wellness consultant, she has received advanced, extensive training and offers a range of therapeutic modalities, including trauma therapy, Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Somatic Experiencing (SE), Yoga Therapy and Nutrition & Integrative Medicine For Mental Health. She is passionate about honoring the exquisite interplay of the mind-body connection. Kim Seelbrede has a niche practice specializing in helping dynamic, high-achieving women improve their mental health with mentoring & coaching.
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