Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
“Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places”
When Tolerating Hurts: How Trauma Makes You Tolerate More Than You Should
People who have experienced trauma often develop an acute ability to endure discomfort, whether it's emotional, mental, or physical. Having navigated through profound adversity, their capacity to withstand pain and uncertainty becomes heightened over time. While this resilience can serve them in surviving difficult situations, it can also create a paradox—what was once a survival mechanism becomes a pattern of tolerating unhealthy dynamics, stifling growth, and preventing healing. This ability to endure, honed through hardship, can sometimes mean accepting stress, imbalance, and disconnection in relationships or everyday life. Yet, recognizing this tendency is the first step in breaking the cycle and reclaiming the power to prioritize well-being and growth.
Unlocking the Power of Mind-Body Connection: A Guide for Cognitive Therapists, Therapists In Training & Psychotherapy Clients
As cognitive therapists, we’ve long relied on the power of thought and dialogue to help clients navigate their mental health challenges. But what if there’s more to healing than just the mind? What if the body itself holds untapped wisdom that can accelerate recovery and promote deeper emotional regulation? For psychology students, interns, new therapists, and seasoned professionals alike, integrating somatic therapies into traditional talk therapy offers an exciting opportunity to expand your therapeutic toolkit and provide more comprehensive care to clients—especially those grappling with trauma.
Like many New Yorkers, you may be new to therapy; understanding somatic approaches can be crucial for your healing journey. Unlike traditional talk therapy which focuses primarily on thoughts and emotions, somatic therapy recognizes the deep connection between mind and body. This approach can be particularly beneficial if you've experienced trauma, anxiety, or depression, as these issues often manifest physically in ways you might not realize. By learning to tune into your body's sensations and responses, you can gain valuable insights into your emotional state and develop more effective coping strategies. Somatic therapy can help you release stored tension, improve emotional regulation, and enhance your overall sense of well-being. For those who find it challenging to verbalize their feelings or who feel "stuck" in traditional therapy, somatic techniques offer a new pathway to self-awareness and healing.
Consider Couples Therapy Now Before Minor Concerns Become Bigger Issues Or Even A Crisis.
When you are experiencing distance, tension, or difficulty in your relationships, you may experience feelings of abandonment, rejection, a lack of empathy, anger, disappointment, hopelessness, shame, and other emotions. Most New York couples enter relationship counseling in some state of despair. Often, they have struggled for years, and in a last-ditch attempt to save the relationship, they begin couples therapy. At this point, communication has eroded, distance is the norm, and sex is nearly nonexistent. Reasonably high-functioning couples often begin therapy to navigate difficult circumstances, seeking guidance from a relationship therapist or coach. Couples counseling is typically sought by two people who are in a romantic relationship and are experiencing challenges they want to address together. These individuals are committed to improving their relationship, whether that’s through resolving conflict, improving communication, rebuilding trust, or working through other issues that may be impacting their bond.
As an experienced couple and relationship therapist with a private practice in New York, I have witnessed many challenges among successful, busy New York and NYC couples. Still, often, problems are rooted in the same recurring issues. In our counseling sessions, we focus on creating a safe environment for sharing thoughts, feelings, and emotions. We work on active listening skills, identify important patterns in your relationship, express individual needs, build empathy, set goals, and develop effective conflict resolution skills. Sessions are virtual. 60, 90, or 120 minutes, and we can meet online wherever in the world you happen to be.
Relationship Repair After Infidelity & Intimate Betrayal
Betrayal trauma in an intimate relationship is unlike any other form of betrayal. It shatters your heart and changes your relationship forever. If you have a history of relational trauma or betrayal, it can feel even more impactful. When a partner cheats, it doesn’t have to ruin a marriage, though it can certainly be a turning point. How a couple navigates through it depends on many factors, such as the nature of the betrayal, the level of trust, the history of the relationship, and, most importantly, the willingness of both partners to heal and rebuild. Now the real work begins after an intimate betrayal disrupts a relationship. Couple therapy will not succeed in healing the trauma if both partners are not fully committed.
Some couples can work through betrayal by having open, honest conversations, seeking counseling, and rebuilding trust over time. It can be a long and painful process, but it’s not impossible. Others, however, might find the betrayal too much to overcome, or they are unwilling to remain in the relationship. A skilled and experienced relationship counselor can help you identify the root causes of the affair and uncover deeper issues within the relationship and the partner who strayed.
Can my marriage ever be whole again? Will we ever move beyond this? Can I forgive? Can I ever trust my spouse again? Can we truly experience full healing after betrayal trauma? Can I hold hope that are relationship can be even more fulfilling?
These questions are heavy on the soul. When someone you love betrays you, it can have profound emotional, psychological, and even physical effects.
Has Your Life Been Hijacked By A Narcissist?
If so, you are likely to have your share of questions about how to identify, manage, escape from, and avoid future entanglements with narcissistic people. As a psychotherapist from New York City, I work with couples and individuals who present with many symptoms of narcissistic abuse or describe patterns of emotional abuse in their primary relationships. It’s not just men, women can also have narcissistic traits or NPD. Oftentimes, a member of a couple will complain that their partner is a narcissist when actually, they also have these traits. It can make the work of therapy challenging. For anyone involved with a narcissist, it's heartbreaking to realize that years, and even decades, have been spent under the rule of a tyrannical parent or partner. Parents, bosses, and partners with narcissistic personality disorder or strong traits have the potential to powerfully and negatively impact your physical and emotional health and wellbeing.
You may be traumatized, numb, and shut down from years of experiences with family members. You may also find yourself repeating this pattern in your current relationships by seeking out narcissistic partners. And so the neurotic dance of repetition compulsion begins. You're now wondering why you are questioning if you are the "crazy and confused" one in your relationship. Reality test: narcissists and psychopaths exhibit crazy-making behaviors. Narcissists project a lot—they come fully loaded with accusations and criticisms. What's crazy-making is that most of what the narcissist claims YOU are doing is exactly what THEY are doing. A seasoned therapist can support your personal growth and help you develop high-level skills for dealing with the narcissist in your life.
Difficult People: Saving Yourself From The Crazymakers In Your Life
We all have challenging people in our lives. The individuals who ignore our boundaries, seek constant attention, create drama, set traps, and leave a trail of destruction, ultimately causing us to feel confused, invalidated, and overwhelmed by the resulting chaos. If this sounds familiar, you are likely struggling to manage difficult people in your life. Sometimes, avoiding these individuals is not an option, which presents a real challenge. They are your exes, colleagues, friends, siblings, parents. Perhaps your life demands regular contact with them, leaving you with feelings of dread and terror and sometimes actual physical symptoms.
Difficult people drain your energy and consistently engage in controlling, destructive, manipulative, and reckless behaviors. They leave a path of destruction in their wake.
They often create traps for you, making it appear as though there is no way to win. They demand attention and create drama and more drama. Their behaviors show up as excessive negativity, anger, aggression, addictions, recklessness, splitting (extremes of good/bad), pathological envy and jealousy, grandiosity, trap-setting, gaslighting, and sabotage. They may already have an actual psychiatric diagnosis, such as Histrionic, Borderline, Narcissistic, or Antisocial Personality Disorder, and behaviors symptomatic of trauma, abuse, and substance abuse.
You experience fatigue and you’re overwhelmed from being in their negative vibration, and the practical aspects of cleaning up their messes can feel daunting. They don't care who they hurt with their aggression and their destructive nature, even their children. You may even wonder if you are the crazy one as they engage in projection, shaming, and blaming behaviors. Essentially, they play the victim, turning things around in a nanosecond. What follows are some important things to remember:
Engage Your Vagus Nerve: Breathing And Restorative Techniques For Relaxation, Insomnia, Chronic Illness, Pain And Limbic System Dysfunction
It seems like everyone is talking about vagal nerve theory these days, and stress and chronic illness may be at an all-time high. Many individuals are seeking alternatives to traditional "talk" therapy to address their mental, physical, and spiritual needs. Worries about the long-term impact of chronic stress, depression, anxiety, and insomnia are a topic of concern for many of my somatic psychotherapy and coaching clients.
A Brief Explanation Of Vagal Theory
The Vagus Nerve, which means "wandering nerve" in Latin, is a cranial nerve that extends from the brainstem (the lower part of the human brain) to the ears, travels down the front of the neck, and reaches all the way to the gut and intestines. the way into th The vagal nerve theory suggests that the vagus nerve, which is the longest cranial nerve in the body, plays a central role in regulating various bodily functions, including heart rate, digestion, immune response, and stress management. It acts as a key pathway for communication between the brain and the body's organs.
In particular, the theory emphasizes the role of the vagus nerve in the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation and recovery after stress. Stimulation of the vagus nerve has been linked to improved emotional regulation, reduced inflammation, and even therapeutic effects for conditions like depression and anxiety.
The vagus nerve is thought to help mediate the body's "rest and digest" responses, counteracting the "fight or flight" reactions driven by the sympathetic nervous system.
Creating Your Daily Refuge With The “Safe Place” Exercise
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is one of the more powerful and transformative therapies designed to help individuals heal from distressing memories and traumatic experiences. As a licensed psychotherapist in New York, I have been providing EMDR therapy for many years. While I enjoy offering other therapeutic modalities, I consistently return to EMDR because it is so effective! One of its essential elements is introduced in the initial protocol of resourcing, and it’s called “Safe Place.” In EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, the Safe Place exercise is a foundational technique often used in the early phases of treatment. It is designed to help the client access a mental or emotional "safe space" that they can visualize when experiencing distressing memories or emotions during the therapeutic process.
Counseling For Empowerment And Increasing Self-Worth
Feeling inadequate or "not enough" eventually becomes exhausting. Like many, you are tired of struggling with a poor self-image and self-doubt. Your dreams and life goals are taking a backseat to the constant striving without success. Your life would be more meaningful if you could finally feel like you are enough. Low self-esteem happens for many reasons, and how you talk to yourself also impacts self-esteem. If you want to change your negative self-talk, therapists have various tools to help you achieve that goal.
You can improve your mood and enhance your emotional well-being by learning to shift negative self-talk. Once you learn some of these valuable skills in therapy, you may begin to notice how your negative self-evaluation has led to anxiety, sadness, depression, and low self-esteem. Shifting the way you speak to yourself is not easy, it takes practice. What follows are some helpful strategies to help you on your journey to improve your self-esteem.
No, EMDR Doesn’t Work For Everyone, And Here’s Why
EMDR Therapy, also known as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a popular form of healing, powerful healing. As people become more comfortable talking about their mental health concerns, we see more people discussing EMDR, especially celebrities. What is EMDR? When something terrible happens to us, it is stored in our brain and nervous system in a different way than our everyday experiences. Memories and sensations show up when we are least expecting it, just like that, your day has been hijacked. EMDR therapy helps to make the memory less disturbing.
Research reveals that EMDR is a powerful therapeutic approach for resolving symptoms of PTSD and for processing trauma and negative experiences. EMDR has been extensively researched and is recognized as effective by organizations such as the American Psychiatric Association and the World Health Organization for treating PTSD. Many individuals experience significant symptom reduction and improvement in their overall well-being after undergoing EMDR therapy.
Helping Dynamic Women Heal In Therapy
You are a dynamic, self-reliant woman who seeks therapy to help you find a more rewarding work-life balance, whatever form that may take. Changing entrenched behaviors, thoughts and relationship patterns is possible with the right help. You need a therapist who is able to relate to your unique needs and desires. You are keenly aware that your self-doubt, anxiety, and perfectionism create unnecessary standards.
You struggle most days with not feeling like you are “enough.” Your inner critic distorts your view of yourself, and this impacts your ability to see yourself in a realistic. Your relationships may also be struggling especially when your “people-pleasing” tendencies interfere, and this is not how you want to be in relation to others. It’s frustrating because you know that you have what it takes to succeed in all the areas of your life, but these daunting dynamics keep you from living to your fullest potential. Whatever has shaped your current reality, living authentically is challenging when fear, anxiety, and self-doubt impact your daily decisions.
When Therapy Fails
Sometimes it just doesn’t work. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s them, and at some point, the therapy process has failed both of you. Believe it or not, many of my training programs led the trainees to believe that when therapy failed it was always the patient at fault—their resistance, their lack of motivation, and so on. It's understandable how that misconception could arise, especially if a training program emphasizes certain perspectives, such as psychodynamic or psychoanalytic psychotherapy. However, therapy isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, and there are many factors that can contribute to its success or failure. Sometimes, it's not just about the patient's resistance or lack of motivation; it could also involve mismatched therapist-patient dynamics, ineffective treatment approaches, or external factors affecting the patient's ability to engage in therapy. So many factors at play.
It's crucial for therapists to adopt a more nuanced understanding of therapy outcomes and to recognize that both the therapist and the patient play important roles in the therapeutic process. This includes acknowledging the limitations of certain therapeutic modalities and being open to adapting approaches to better meet the needs of individual patients. Therapy is a collaborative effort, and when it doesn't work, it's an opportunity for both the therapist and the patient to reflect, learn, and potentially try different strategies or interventions.
How To Successfully Navigate Your Open Relationship
You’ve just learned that your neighbors are swingers, which has you really curious, even hot and bothered at the thought. It's completely natural to feel curious or intrigued by the idea of swinging, especially if it's something you've never explored before. However, before diving into the lifestyle, there are indeed some important things to consider What is an alternative relationship? An alternative relationship is any relationship that goes against the norm of monogamy. Consensual non-monogamy, swinging, polyamory, these are all examples of alternative relationships. If you and your partner are interested in opening your relationship, let’s consider what this actually means.
An open relationship can include all forms of non-monogamy. It may include threesomes with both partners present. Sometimes polyamory is part of the mix where partners engage in emotional and sexual relationships. Others may explore their fetish or kink with other people but only have vanilla sex with their partner. Compersion, or feeling joy from your partner's connections with others, can indeed be a significant aspect for some individuals in open relationships. An open relationship can be many things, but it must work for both partners.
How To Find Your Next Therapist in New York City
You’ve been to therapy in the past, gained some good skills, but as life would have it, you find yourself needing a little more support. Whether you're struggling again with something you've already explored in therapy, or you've experienced a new loss or traumatic event, it's normal to return to therapy. Deciding whether to return to a former therapist or start fresh with a new one is a significant decision, and there are valid reasons for both options. Finding a therapist or psychologist in NYC can indeed be a bit overwhelming, so many options and things to consider, such as location, session fee, training, experience and can they help you with the issues you bring to therapy. Whether you are an individual wanting help with anxiety, depression or trauma resolution, or a couple struggling to get along or feel intimate, you need to find the right therapist for your needs.
You can relax a bit with the knowledge that New York City is home to many highly qualified and skilled therapists, psychotherapists, counselors and psychologists. Given the city's diverse population and the demand for mental health services, you can find psychologists with expertise in various specialties and therapeutic approaches.
Natural Solutions And Alternative Therapies To Heal Your Anxiety
Most of us struggle with anxiety from time to time, and many will turn to medications such as SSRI’s and anxiolytics to reduce symptoms. Some individuals may experience unwanted side effects, find limited relief, or prefer to explore natural alternatives. It's true that while medications like SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) and anxiolytics can be effective for many individuals in managing anxiety, they might not be the best fit for everyone. Fortunately, there are indeed excellent options available for those seeking alternative or complementary treatments for anxiety.
Individuals who chose to work with a holistic psychotherapist are a likely to seek a natural alternative to treating their anxiety symptoms. Holistic practitioners are often extensively trained in the best and safest practices for alleviating anxiety. In addition to effective psychotherapy modalities such as EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, CBT and
Natural Solutions And Alternative Treatments To Heal Your ADHD
Living in New York City, with its fast pace and constant demands, can be particularly challenging for individuals with adult ADHD. Many high-functioning New Yorkers find themselves struggling to stay focused, manage impulses, and juggle multiple priorities—despite being highly successful in their careers and personal lives. While some turn to medication to help manage their symptoms, many others prefer to explore natural or non-stimulant remedies that align more with their lifestyle and values.
Adult ADHD is more than just a set of symptoms—it’s a unique way the brain is wired, affecting how attention, focus, and impulse control are managed. Often, the signs of ADHD are overlooked or misinterpreted until adulthood, when the demands of life make these challenges even more apparent. In fact, ADHD tends to run in families, and brain scans of those with ADHD reveal clear differences from non-ADHD brains, shedding light on the neurological basis of the condition. However, diagnosis and treatment should always be done by a well-trained professional to ensure accuracy and a tailored approach.
For those in New York City who want to manage ADHD without resorting to stimulant medications, therapy can be a powerful alternative or complement. As an experienced therapist, I work with clients to help them develop strategies that enhance focus, reduce impulsivity, and improve emotional regulation—without relying on stimulants. From mindfulness techniques and cognitive-behavioral strategies to lifestyle modifications, there are many tools available that can help you lead a more balanced, productive life while embracing your unique brain chemistry.
Natural Solutions And Alternative Treatments For Depression
Antidepressants simply do not work for everyone, and for many reasons. Which leaves many depression sufferers searching for natural treatments to lift their depression. Some individuals are interested in reducing their meds altogether, which includes a more comfortable withdraw from benzodiazepines. There are many natural medicines that are safe and effective alternatives to antidepressants, that elegantly work alongside important lifestyle modifications. While these alternative treatments can be beneficial for some patients, it's essential to remember that depression is a complex condition, and what works for one person may not work for another. Additionally, alternative treatments should not replace prescribed medications or therapy but may be used as part of a comprehensive treatment plan tailored to the individual's needs and preferences. It's important to consult with a healthcare professional to determine the most appropriate treatment approach for depression. A mental health professional who is well-versed in appropriate and effective alternative treatments can also help you monitor your progress.
The Unique Challenges Of High-Functioning Couples In Couple Counseling
Marriage and couple therapy enjoys a high success rate for couples who want to improve their relationships, and New York City has some of the most intelligent, talented and high-performing people in the world. They also bring to relationship counseling unique challenges and struggles. Successful individuals tend to be independent, highly-focused and self-sufficient. These individuals are accustomed to handling their problems on their own and require a high degree of autonomy. They are also not immune to struggling with anxiety, depression and relationship problems. Sometimes their lives look ideal from the outside, and yet they struggle greatly. You may be tempted to idealize the successful couples that you know, imagining that they have it all figured out. I can tell you that as an experienced New York City couple therapist, the high-functioning couples that I encounter have their own unique challenges that bring them to couple counseling. Mostly, these couples grapple with navigating conflicts, balancing individual with couple needs, communication issues and maintaining intimacy. Of course there are other challenges that successful high-functioning couples face, so let’s have a closer look.
How Somatic Therapy & Parts Work Can Address Addictive States
Individuals struggling with addiction have many holistic and evidence-based therapies to help them heal the root cause of their addictions. Some valuable treatment options to address addictive states includes: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Motivational Interviewing (MI), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), as just a few examples. There are other modalities that can be equally as effective with addiction. Therapists trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS), sometimes known as parts work, can attest to the importance of offering this valuable approach in the treatment of addiction.
Parts Work Therapy, also known as Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, is a therapeutic approach that helps individuals explore and understand their inner thoughts, feelings, and behaviors by viewing the mind as a collection of different "parts." These parts represent different aspects of a person's personality and can be in conflict with each other.
Healing Addiction With Counseling
Struggling with addiction or substance abuse/misuse is a common reason people reach out for therapy. Addiction is a disease that affects a person's brain and behavior and typically leads to an inability to control the use of a substance or behavior which always has consequences. When you are addicted, you may continue using the drug, device or behavior despite the harm it causes to your work, relationships and emotional and physical health.
What is addiction and substance abuse? Substance abuse disorder is a complex brain disease that causes you to compulsively seek out and use alcohol, drugs and addictive behaviors despite dangerous and harmful consequences. Substance abuse disorder and addiction causes distorted thoughts, behaviors, and body function. There is a genetic component
Substance abuse and addiction causes symptoms and behaviors including:
Feeling a need or urge to use the substance or engage in the behavior regularly
Needing more and more of the substance or behavior to feel the effects
Time spent ensuring that you have a steady supply of the substance or spending money you don’t have on the substance or behavior
Failing to meet your personal and professional obligations and responsibilities
Experiencing withdrawal symptoms
You feel a worsening of your cognition, with impaired decision-making and memory
You may do things you would not normally do or later regret acquiring the substance