Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
“Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places”
Engage Your Vagus Nerve: Breathing And Restorative Techniques For Relaxation, Insomnia, Chronic Illness, Pain And Limbic System Dysfunction
It seems like everyone is talking about vagal nerve theory these days, and stress and chronic illness may be at an all-time high. Many individuals are seeking alternatives to traditional "talk" therapy to address their mental, physical, and spiritual needs. Worries about the long-term impact of chronic stress, depression, anxiety, and insomnia are a topic of concern for many of my somatic psychotherapy and coaching clients.
A Brief Explanation Of Vagal Theory
The Vagus Nerve, which means "wandering nerve" in Latin, is a cranial nerve that extends from the brainstem (the lower part of the human brain) to the ears, travels down the front of the neck, and reaches all the way to the gut and intestines. the way into th The vagal nerve theory suggests that the vagus nerve, which is the longest cranial nerve in the body, plays a central role in regulating various bodily functions, including heart rate, digestion, immune response, and stress management. It acts as a key pathway for communication between the brain and the body's organs.
In particular, the theory emphasizes the role of the vagus nerve in the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation and recovery after stress. Stimulation of the vagus nerve has been linked to improved emotional regulation, reduced inflammation, and even therapeutic effects for conditions like depression and anxiety.
The vagus nerve is thought to help mediate the body's "rest and digest" responses, counteracting the "fight or flight" reactions driven by the sympathetic nervous system.
Creating Your Daily Refuge With The “Safe Place” Exercise
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is one of the more powerful and transformative therapies designed to help individuals heal from distressing memories and traumatic experiences. As a licensed psychotherapist in New York, I have been providing EMDR therapy for many years. While I enjoy offering other therapeutic modalities, I consistently return to EMDR because it is so effective! One of its essential elements is introduced in the initial protocol of resourcing, and it’s called “Safe Place.” In EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, the Safe Place exercise is a foundational technique often used in the early phases of treatment. It is designed to help the client access a mental or emotional "safe space" that they can visualize when experiencing distressing memories or emotions during the therapeutic process.
Counseling For Empowerment And Increasing Self-Worth
Feeling inadequate or "not enough" eventually becomes exhausting. Like many, you are tired of struggling with a poor self-image and self-doubt. Your dreams and life goals are taking a backseat to the constant striving without success. Your life would be more meaningful if you could finally feel like you are enough. Low self-esteem happens for many reasons, and how you talk to yourself also impacts self-esteem. If you want to change your negative self-talk, therapists have various tools to help you achieve that goal.
You can improve your mood and enhance your emotional well-being by learning to shift negative self-talk. Once you learn some of these valuable skills in therapy, you may begin to notice how your negative self-evaluation has led to anxiety, sadness, depression, and low self-esteem. Shifting the way you speak to yourself is not easy, it takes practice. What follows are some helpful strategies to help you on your journey to improve your self-esteem.
No, EMDR Doesn’t Work For Everyone, And Here’s Why
EMDR Therapy, also known as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a popular form of healing, powerful healing. As people become more comfortable talking about their mental health concerns, we see more people discussing EMDR, especially celebrities. What is EMDR? When something terrible happens to us, it is stored in our brain and nervous system in a different way than our everyday experiences. Memories and sensations show up when we are least expecting it, just like that, your day has been hijacked. EMDR therapy helps to make the memory less disturbing.
Research reveals that EMDR is a powerful therapeutic approach for resolving symptoms of PTSD and for processing trauma and negative experiences. EMDR has been extensively researched and is recognized as effective by organizations such as the American Psychiatric Association and the World Health Organization for treating PTSD. Many individuals experience significant symptom reduction and improvement in their overall well-being after undergoing EMDR therapy.
Helping Dynamic Women Heal In Therapy
You are a dynamic, self-reliant woman who seeks therapy to help you find a more rewarding work-life balance, whatever form that may take. Changing entrenched behaviors, thoughts and relationship patterns is possible with the right help. You need a therapist who is able to relate to your unique needs and desires. You are keenly aware that your self-doubt, anxiety, and perfectionism create unnecessary standards.
You struggle most days with not feeling like you are “enough.” Your inner critic distorts your view of yourself, and this impacts your ability to see yourself in a realistic. Your relationships may also be struggling especially when your “people-pleasing” tendencies interfere, and this is not how you want to be in relation to others. It’s frustrating because you know that you have what it takes to succeed in all the areas of your life, but these daunting dynamics keep you from living to your fullest potential. Whatever has shaped your current reality, living authentically is challenging when fear, anxiety, and self-doubt impact your daily decisions.
When Therapy Fails
Sometimes it just doesn’t work. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s them, and at some point, the therapy process has failed both of you. Believe it or not, many of my training programs led the trainees to believe that when therapy failed it was always the patient at fault—their resistance, their lack of motivation, and so on. It's understandable how that misconception could arise, especially if a training program emphasizes certain perspectives, such as psychodynamic or psychoanalytic psychotherapy. However, therapy isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, and there are many factors that can contribute to its success or failure. Sometimes, it's not just about the patient's resistance or lack of motivation; it could also involve mismatched therapist-patient dynamics, ineffective treatment approaches, or external factors affecting the patient's ability to engage in therapy. So many factors at play.
It's crucial for therapists to adopt a more nuanced understanding of therapy outcomes and to recognize that both the therapist and the patient play important roles in the therapeutic process. This includes acknowledging the limitations of certain therapeutic modalities and being open to adapting approaches to better meet the needs of individual patients. Therapy is a collaborative effort, and when it doesn't work, it's an opportunity for both the therapist and the patient to reflect, learn, and potentially try different strategies or interventions.
How To Successfully Navigate Your Open Relationship
You’ve just learned that your neighbors are swingers, which has you really curious, even hot and bothered at the thought. It's completely natural to feel curious or intrigued by the idea of swinging, especially if it's something you've never explored before. However, before diving into the lifestyle, there are indeed some important things to consider What is an alternative relationship? An alternative relationship is any relationship that goes against the norm of monogamy. Consensual non-monogamy, swinging, polyamory, these are all examples of alternative relationships. If you and your partner are interested in opening your relationship, let’s consider what this actually means.
An open relationship can include all forms of non-monogamy. It may include threesomes with both partners present. Sometimes polyamory is part of the mix where partners engage in emotional and sexual relationships. Others may explore their fetish or kink with other people but only have vanilla sex with their partner. Compersion, or feeling joy from your partner's connections with others, can indeed be a significant aspect for some individuals in open relationships. An open relationship can be many things, but it must work for both partners.
How To Find Your Next Therapist in New York City
You’ve been to therapy in the past, gained some good skills, but as life would have it, you find yourself needing a little more support. Whether you're struggling again with something you've already explored in therapy, or you've experienced a new loss or traumatic event, it's normal to return to therapy. Deciding whether to return to a former therapist or start fresh with a new one is a significant decision, and there are valid reasons for both options. Finding a therapist or psychologist in NYC can indeed be a bit overwhelming, so many options and things to consider, such as location, session fee, training, experience and can they help you with the issues you bring to therapy. Whether you are an individual wanting help with anxiety, depression or trauma resolution, or a couple struggling to get along or feel intimate, you need to find the right therapist for your needs.
You can relax a bit with the knowledge that New York City is home to many highly qualified and skilled therapists, psychotherapists, counselors and psychologists. Given the city's diverse population and the demand for mental health services, you can find psychologists with expertise in various specialties and therapeutic approaches.
Natural Solutions And Alternative Therapies To Heal Your Anxiety
Most of us struggle with anxiety from time to time, and many will turn to medications such as SSRI’s and anxiolytics to reduce symptoms. Some individuals may experience unwanted side effects, find limited relief, or prefer to explore natural alternatives. It's true that while medications like SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) and anxiolytics can be effective for many individuals in managing anxiety, they might not be the best fit for everyone. Fortunately, there are indeed excellent options available for those seeking alternative or complementary treatments for anxiety.
Individuals who chose to work with a holistic psychotherapist are a likely to seek a natural alternative to treating their anxiety symptoms. Holistic practitioners are often extensively trained in the best and safest practices for alleviating anxiety. In addition to effective psychotherapy modalities such as EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, CBT and
Natural Solutions And Alternative Treatments For Depression
Antidepressants simply do not work for everyone, and for many reasons. Which leaves many depression sufferers searching for natural treatments to lift their depression. Some individuals are interested in reducing their meds altogether, which includes a more comfortable withdraw from benzodiazepines. There are many natural medicines that are safe and effective alternatives to antidepressants, that elegantly work alongside important lifestyle modifications. While these alternative treatments can be beneficial for some patients, it's essential to remember that depression is a complex condition, and what works for one person may not work for another. Additionally, alternative treatments should not replace prescribed medications or therapy but may be used as part of a comprehensive treatment plan tailored to the individual's needs and preferences. It's important to consult with a healthcare professional to determine the most appropriate treatment approach for depression. A mental health professional who is well-versed in appropriate and effective alternative treatments can also help you monitor your progress.
The Unique Challenges Of High-Functioning Couples In Couple Counseling
Marriage and couple therapy enjoys a high success rate for couples who want to improve their relationships, and New York City has some of the most intelligent, talented and high-performing people in the world. They also bring to relationship counseling unique challenges and struggles. Successful individuals tend to be independent, highly-focused and self-sufficient. These individuals are accustomed to handling their problems on their own and require a high degree of autonomy. They are also not immune to struggling with anxiety, depression and relationship problems. Sometimes their lives look ideal from the outside, and yet they struggle greatly. You may be tempted to idealize the successful couples that you know, imagining that they have it all figured out. I can tell you that as an experienced New York City couple therapist, the high-functioning couples that I encounter have their own unique challenges that bring them to couple counseling. Mostly, these couples grapple with navigating conflicts, balancing individual with couple needs, communication issues and maintaining intimacy. Of course there are other challenges that successful high-functioning couples face, so let’s have a closer look.
How Somatic Therapy & Parts Work Can Address Addictive States
Individuals struggling with addiction have many holistic and evidence-based therapies to help them heal the root cause of their addictions. Some valuable treatment options to address addictive states includes: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Motivational Interviewing (MI), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), as just a few examples. There are other modalities that can be equally as effective with addiction. Therapists trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS), sometimes known as parts work, can attest to the importance of offering this valuable approach in the treatment of addiction.
Parts Work Therapy, also known as Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, is a therapeutic approach that helps individuals explore and understand their inner thoughts, feelings, and behaviors by viewing the mind as a collection of different "parts." These parts represent different aspects of a person's personality and can be in conflict with each other.
Coping With Relationship Heartbreak
Breakups are painful. The reasons for the relationship split seem to matter less than the fact that your world has changed and all kinds of uncomfortable feelings and emotions are being activated. You can learn from this experience and come through it wiser and stronger, and hopefully, with a heart open enough to receive love and hope for the future.
Even though the relationship no longer works, why do breakups hurt so much? When marriages or relationships end, it is not just about grieving the loss of the connection, but the end of shared hopes and dreams. Hope is an important aspect of early romantic relationships. Couples mourn the hope for the future as well as the commitment of shared goals and dreams.
Other important losses include one's identity, physical and sexual intimacy, shared hobbies and interests, relationships with friends and extended family, a physical move or the sale of a home, financial stability, individual and shared responsibilities, and if children are involved, a significant disruption in their lives.
Healing Addiction With Counseling
Struggling with addiction or substance abuse/misuse is a common reason people reach out for therapy. Addiction is a disease that affects a person's brain and behavior and typically leads to an inability to control the use of a substance or behavior which always has consequences. When you are addicted, you may continue using the drug, device or behavior despite the harm it causes to your work, relationships and emotional and physical health.
What is addiction and substance abuse? Substance abuse disorder is a complex brain disease that causes you to compulsively seek out and use alcohol, drugs and addictive behaviors despite dangerous and harmful consequences. Substance abuse disorder and addiction causes distorted thoughts, behaviors, and body function. There is a genetic component
Substance abuse and addiction causes symptoms and behaviors including:
Feeling a need or urge to use the substance or engage in the behavior regularly
Needing more and more of the substance or behavior to feel the effects
Time spent ensuring that you have a steady supply of the substance or spending money you don’t have on the substance or behavior
Failing to meet your personal and professional obligations and responsibilities
Experiencing withdrawal symptoms
You feel a worsening of your cognition, with impaired decision-making and memory
You may do things you would not normally do or later regret acquiring the substance
Therapy Or Coaching: Choosing The Best Fit For You
Let’s begin with therapy. What is therapy?
Therapy, also known as counseling and psychotherapy, is a short-term or longer-term process in which a patient or client works with a licensed mental health professional to resolve problem beliefs, patterns, feelings, behaviors and relational patterns. Therapy tends to focus on past traumas, experiences and issues that are interfering with one’s sense of self and life-satisfaction. Therapy guides patients through the process of self-discovery, uncovering the internal conflicts and dynamics that keep them from having a more satisfying, meaningful and successful life.
Yes, personal coaches and therapists tend to help clients with similar problems, their work is not the same.
What is life coaching?
In life coaching, a client works with a coach who may or may not be a healthcare professional to clarify goals and identify barriers to success in order to create an action plan to move forward. A life coach focuses on where the client is in their life and helps them to create an action plan to work towards their goals.
The challenges that keep us stuck…
When you are feeling stuck, overwhelmed or challenged by a particular situation, or life in general, you may be considering seeking professional therapy or coaching. You have so many options now especially with online virtual therapy and coaching, and of course, helpful websites like Psychology Today, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.
CBT, Coaching & Therapy Techniques For Changing Thoughts & Behaviors
CBT techniques are very helpful tools to be used in therapy, coaching and useful when applied to everyday life situations. What follows are some of the most common CBT techniques that I use with my therapy and coaching clients.
Journaling—This technique gathers information and data about habitual thoughts, emotions and moods. Included in journal entries can be: time of day, the source or trigger, the intensity of the feeling state and the response or action taken. You can add more helpful and adaptive coping responses that might be considered in the future.
Catastrophizing—This tendency is to go immediately to an irrational thought that something is far worse than it actually is. Catastrophizing generally takes two different forms: making a catastrophe out of a current situation or a future situation. Step one is to identify when your are doing this. Next, use your smartphone or journal to write the thoughts down throughout the day and add a corrective statement to counteract the negative belief.
Tame Your Harsh Inner Critic With Curiosity, Compassion, IFS & EMDR Therapy
Do You Have A Harsh Inner Critic That Sabotages Your Life? You don’t have to be a trauma survivor to have a harsh inner critic. The self-critical inner voice is persistent and continues to negatively judge and even sabotage dreams and aspirations. In fact, mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety can be rooted in this unhealthy self-dynamic. As anyone tormented by an unkind inner-critic knows, The near-constant flood of negative feelings and emotions linked to the inner critic can also be a great source of stress and self-sabotage.
The truth is, we all have different “parts” that make up our personality, and in ego psychology, we call these sub-personalities. These parts are part of an internal system, kind of like a family that lives within. Sounds extreme, and yet we are not talking about having multiple personalities in the same way someone with a diagnosis of a personality disorder or DID exhibits unintegrated parts (although that is considered the extreme presentation of the same continuum). Have you ever caught yourself saying, “well, part of me wants to do it, and another part says no.” How common is this? A part of you that seeks adventure leans in to the prospect, while a more cautious, protector part steps on the brake.
Getting Help For Your High-Functioning Anxiety
“Giving Up My Anxiety Will Negatively Impact My Success.” Is This You?
Like most New Yorkers, your days are busy with work, family and trying to find a way to manage and balance it all. With all that striving and the many tasks to complete, who has time to think about stress reduction or connecting with a therapist to help you manage your anxiety and mood symptoms. You may even wonder who you’d be without your drive—and your anxiety! Take away the anxiety and you’d potentially lose your edge.
You may not even consider your striving to be an anxiety response. As a therapist, we see this a lot. You haven’t crashed yet, and we would like to help you have an even better quality of life. If you haven’t yet crashed, how can you tell if your level of stress and anxiety is normal? Skillful therapy can help you recognize how your stress, anxiety and unconscious beliefs are behind your super-charged drive. If you spend any time on instagram, you’ve likely heard of high-functioning depression, as well as high-functioning anxiety.
EMDR Therapy: Effective Results As Quickly As Possible
Do you feel stuck in your life, unable to move beyond a difficult experience? Or you’ve achieved some symptom reduction in traditional therapy and are now ready to do some next-level healing? EMDR is a powerful and transforming treatment to relieve intense symptoms and suffering so you can finally heal and move forward in your life. You can also keep your therapist and do EMDR as an adjunct healing modality.
EMDR Seems Strange And Confusing, Why Is That?
It’s okay to not fully understand this remarkable therapy because even experts don’t fully understand the magic behind EMDR Treatment, or the neurobiological changes that accompany any healing therapy modality for that matter. It is a procedure with protocol and steps that need to be followed to ensure efficacy. Moving your eyes or tapping seems a bit strange, but once you begin your EMDR treatment, this will all make much more sense. EMDR is often described as a “new” therapy. It is not a new therapy and has actually been around for about thirty years. I’ve been practicing EMDR for a very long time now and I continue to be wowed by this modality, especially when other forms of treatment are woven into EMDR sessions.
Healing Traumatic Stress & Loss With Self-Care
Whether you're struggling to manage challenging life events, a trauma or accident, loss and grief or any kind of transition that causes you distress or destabilization, it's helpful to understand that your feelings, emotions and behaviors are a normal reaction to extreme and/or disturbing events. As a NYC psychotherapist who uses EMDR therapy, supportive work and a focus on helping clients develop healthier coping skills, I'm happy to share tips to support you as you move through difficult times, and in time, find healing and recovery.
What Helps?