Therapy And Support For Deeply-Feeling People
For as long as you can remember, others have labeled you as “too shy” or “too sensitive.” It sure doesn’t feel good to hear this, but it does describe your reality on the daily. Thinking about it, you’ve always felt alone, or very different. You may be more reactive than most to the moods of others, criticism can feel especially hostile, external stimuli and energy drains you. These are just a few examples of what it’s like as a Highly-Sensitive Person (HSP), also known as deep feelers, neurodivergent individuals and Sensory-Processing Sensitivity (SPS). Navigating a noisy, demanding world as a highly-sensitive person can be disabling for many especially as you attempt to accommodate and manage the accompanying anxiety and depression. But remember, sensitive folks have great gifts. They tend to experience high levels of perceptivity and intuition, empathy and super-attunement, and even high levels of creativity. Sometimes, your exquisite sensitivity feels like a gift; it can also feel like a curse. Please know that you are not alone and you do not need to suffer in silence.
The term highly sensitive person (HSP) was coined by the clinical psychologist Elaine Aron in 1991 to describe a personality trait that is present in about 20% of the population. Dr. Aron began to research this nervous system sensitivity after her own therapist suggested that she possessed a high-degree of sensitivity, which was making her life difficult. Brain scan studies actually show that there are differences in the level of neural activity in the minds of HSPs, compared with non-HSPs.
What follows is Dr. Arons list of HSP traits. You can also find more helpful information of her professional website.
I am easily overwhelmed by strong sensory input.
I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.
Other people’s moods affect me.
I tend to be very sensitive to pain.
I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days,into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.
I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine.
I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells,coarse fabrics,or sirens close by.
I have a rich,complex inner life.
I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.
I am deeply moved by the arts or music.
My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself.
I am conscientious.
I startle easily.
I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.
When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).
I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.
I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.
I make a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows.
I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me.
Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me,disrupting my concentration or mood.
Changes in my life shake me up.
I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.
I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.
I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations.
I am bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises or chaotic scenes.
When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.
When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.
Navigating the world as a Highly Sensitive Person is not easy for many, but what follows are some some things you can do to support your nervous system:
Reframe your sensitivity as a positive and not a negative.
Develop clear and firm boundaries with others who may take advantage of your compassionate nature.
Know that there is nothing wrong with you and you are not alone.
Whenever possible avoid people, places and situations that cause you to struggle.
Learn to show yourself the same grace, empathy and kindness that you so generously show others.
Develop a practice of regular self-care using the M’s, movement, meditation, and mindfulness.
Ally yourself with someone or others who understand you, or may even share your experience.
If any of this resonates for you and you think you are an HSP struggling with anxiety or depression, find a therapist who can help you learn to resource and protect your nervous system as you navigate the complexities of an over-stimulating world.
About Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness Manhattan
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York State licensed Psychotherapist, EMDR Practitioner and Couple Therapist with a private practice in New York City, Montana and virtually. As a wellness psychotherapist and holistic consultant, she has receive advanced, extensive training in Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Somatic Experiencing (SE), and Nutrition & Integrative Medicine For Mental Health. She is passionate about honoring the exquisite interplay of the mind-body connection. Kimberly Seelbrede specializes in anxiety & mood disorders, trauma and women’s mental health.
In addition to online therapy for anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship struggles, Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness offers a wide variety of online services to fit the needs of busy professionals. New Yorkers often lead fast-paced and complex lives, which makes work-life balance and managing career, family and social obligations a challenge. Psychotherapy and wellness practices provides the support to help clients cultivate resources, resilience and enhanced emotional health, as well as uncover conflicts and obstacles that may interfere with having the life they desire.