Heal Trauma And Reclaim Your Life
Traumatic experiences change the brain. Some changes are meant to protect from future negative experiences. Just as trauma changes the brain, it is possible to heal the brain. Trauma symptoms that live in the nervous system do not have to hold you in its grip forever. As you continue to think, talk, re-tell and act on your experience(s), you reinforce your attachment to what happened, as well as your brain’s wiring and connection, and this serves to maintain your symptoms as you loop on the upsetting memory and trauma responses. As a New York City based Psychotherapist, I work with individuals who have experienced trauma and would like to heal and improve their lives.
The brain and body is designed to heal. We now know that the brain has an amazing capacity to heal by creating new neural pathways. This process is called neuroplasticity. When people are finally able to regain control over their thoughts, behaviors, responses and lives, the brain's limbic system, parasympathetic and vagus nerve system can normalize.
Unfortunately, most who have suffered trauma want to heal, yet struggle with allowing themselves to feel "well" and "whole." This seems counterintuitive, but let me explain. The underlying instinct is to remain vigilant; the nervous system signals that it is "unsafe” to heal and be well. If one relaxes into safety and wellness, then it is possible that one might miss important signs of potential danger. You'll never heal unless you address the important and underlying belief that "It's not safe to be well." Additionally, many individuals also believe that they must “keep” the identity of the "trauma survivor." An experienced trauma therapist will help you know and embody a different perspective: you deserve a more peaceful existence and you deserve to feel safe and move beyond your traumatic experience(s). This process of wanting to heal, and also feeling stuck circles back to the earlier statement of how a traumatized brain is wired to protect.
How does one achieve a sense of safety? This depends on the nature of the trauma and whether the trauma was chronic, as well as how one functioned prior to the trauma(s). Prolonged and developmental trauma(s) take longer to establish safety, and creating personal internal safety is an important first step after any traumatic experience. It can be a slow process to allow yourself to feel safe following a traumatic event(s). Some helpful first steps are to begin trauma healing with a licensed therapist to help you feel safe again, as well as allowing yourself the gift of addressing your personal health and developing self-care rituals. You may feel guilty about this aspect of healing because you were not shown the care and protection that you needed then. Your therapist will help you learn to give yourself the care and protection that you need and deserve now to grow and heal.
If your goal in therapy is to improve your life and circumstances, it is important to seek counseling or therapy. Many who have experienced trauma and abuse also have a trauma reaction of self-harming behaviors. Some examples of self harm may include cutting, as well as addictions to food, drugs, alcohol, sex and internet. These behaviors can be an attempt to regulate thoughts, memories, moods and emotions. Working with a trauma professional, psychologist or psychotherapist to help with intrusive thoughts, nightmares, flashbacks, hyperarousal and dissociation is a critical aspect of healing and growth, so that one can develop healthier coping mechanisms in the future. A trained trauma professional can help you identify the trauma(s) as well as associated feelings and emotions—how you feel now and how you'd like to feel in the future.
What are some helpful trauma healing modalities? EMDR, IFS and Somatic Experiencing are highly-successful modalities to process trauma and help clients develop safety. Both introduce the technique of "resourcing" which leads to healthier neural pathways, enduring safety during treatment and in the future. The above modalities are know to heal at the level of the nervous system which is where trauma resides. Proper treatment, in addition to healthy, supportive relationships, can help you trust again and finally heal.
What follows are some basic important first steps to easing your trauma symptoms and healing your mind and body...
Accept that you have been through something traumatic and will not be your normal self for a period of time.
Nourish your body by eating healthy foods and eliminating foods that create toxicity or worsen anxiety and depression.
Make sleep your priority and rest as needed.
Avoid overusing substances or engaging in risky behaviors.
Reach out for help if you find that you are becoming accident prone.
Try to maintain a normal, daily schedule keeping to your routine.
Rest when you feel exhaustion.
Exercise and move your body in ways that are pleasurable (even small amounts count).
Learn to ask for help by developing a supportive network of people whom you trust.
Get some help to access your environment so that you can create comfort and safety in your physical space and learn when to remove yourself or create necessary space for yourself when over-stimulated.
Remove yourself from situations and people who allow traumas to be recreated or who potentially trigger you or re-victimize you.
Avoid making major decisions too soon after a traumatic event.
Create a safe space in your home and surround yourself with objects of comfort or allow your pet to be with you.
Find a trusted counselor or family member or friend with whom you feel comfortable sharing your experience.
Reach out for help by finding psychological counseling or the help of your GP if you are not returning to normal after a few weeks or if you have new struggles with family, friends or other relationships
Develop a breathing practice to increase the relaxation response. There are many good apps and videos that are helpful and can guide you as you begin this helpful healing ritual. Start with small steps as individuals with trauma find it difficult to be receptive to relaxing the mind and body. It can be very relaxing to the nervous system to breathe gently and evenly in a way that avoids deep breathing or shallow breaths.
It is said that you must “feel in order to heal”
That said, feeling too much or too little is a well-known trauma symptom. Trauma needs to be processed and released in order to live a satisfying and enjoyable life. You will know when some degree of healing has begun as you will feel less vulnerable, have more control over automatic behaviors and trauma responses, feel better able to handle troubling emotions and thoughts, and have the ability to reach out to trusted others who are a source of comfort and protection.
You may not be fully aware of your trauma symptoms. What follows are some common symptoms and reactions to trauma and traumatic experiences:
Fear and anxiety
Depression, sadness and hopelessness
Loss of interest
Anger and rage
Guilt
Numbness or hypo-arousal
Dissociation
Shutting down
Playing the victim
Playing the persecutor
Tendency towards black and white thinking and other cognitive distortions
Reduced concentration
Pseudo or hyper-independence
Insomnia or trouble sleeping
Hyper-arousal or excessive vigilance
Difficulty trusting people
Feeling that the world is dangerous
Self-blame, feeling deserving of negative experiences, feeling unlovable
Inability to self-soothe
Unable to maintain normal daily routine
Becoming obsessed with recovery related activities
Shock and inability to believe trauma happened
Minimizing events
Confusion and disorientation
Feeling weak or vulnerable
Replaying the event and intrusive thoughts
Flashbacks and nightmares
Avoidance of places, people, situations
Feeling as if one could have handled the situation better
Body tension and pain
Excessive physical activity
Excessive mental activity
Becoming defensive
People pleasing behaviors
Flight, leaving a situation, or conversation
Turning to substances such as drugs and alcohol
About Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness Manhattan
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York State licensed Psychotherapist, EMDR Practitioner and Couple Therapist with a private practice in New York City, Montana and virtually. As a wellness psychotherapist and holistic consultant, she has receive advanced, extensive training in Trauma Therapy, Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Somatic Experiencing (SE), and Nutrition & Integrative Medicine For Mental Health. She is passionate about honoring the exquisite interplay of the mind-body connection. Kimberly Seelbrede specializes in anxiety & mood disorders, trauma and women’s mental health. She brings over 20 years of counseling, coaching, and healing experience to her holistic practice and transformational work.
In addition to online therapy for anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship struggles, Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness offers a wide variety of online services to fit the needs of busy professionals. New Yorkers often lead fast-paced and complex lives, which makes work-life balance and managing career, family and social obligations a challenge. Psychotherapy and wellness practices provides the support to help clients cultivate resources, resilience and enhanced emotional health, as well as uncover conflicts and obstacles that may interfere with having the life they desire.