Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
“Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places”
How To Successfully Navigate Your Open Relationship
You’ve just learned that your neighbors are swingers, which has you really curious, even hot and bothered at the thought. It's completely natural to feel curious or intrigued by the idea of swinging, especially if it's something you've never explored before. However, before diving into the lifestyle, there are indeed some important things to consider What is an alternative relationship? An alternative relationship is any relationship that goes against the norm of monogamy. Consensual non-monogamy, swinging, polyamory, these are all examples of alternative relationships. If you and your partner are interested in opening your relationship, let’s consider what this actually means.
An open relationship can include all forms of non-monogamy. It may include threesomes with both partners present. Sometimes polyamory is part of the mix where partners engage in emotional and sexual relationships. Others may explore their fetish or kink with other people but only have vanilla sex with their partner. Compersion, or feeling joy from your partner's connections with others, can indeed be a significant aspect for some individuals in open relationships. An open relationship can be many things, but it must work for both partners.
The Unique Challenges Of High-Functioning Couples In Couple Counseling
Marriage and couple therapy enjoys a high success rate for couples who want to improve their relationships, and New York City has some of the most intelligent, talented and high-performing people in the world. They also bring to relationship counseling unique challenges and struggles. Successful individuals tend to be independent, highly-focused and self-sufficient. These individuals are accustomed to handling their problems on their own and require a high degree of autonomy. They are also not immune to struggling with anxiety, depression and relationship problems. Sometimes their lives look ideal from the outside, and yet they struggle greatly. You may be tempted to idealize the successful couples that you know, imagining that they have it all figured out. I can tell you that as an experienced New York City couple therapist, the high-functioning couples that I encounter have their own unique challenges that bring them to couple counseling. Mostly, these couples grapple with navigating conflicts, balancing individual with couple needs, communication issues and maintaining intimacy. Of course there are other challenges that successful high-functioning couples face, so let’s have a closer look.
On Well-Being
Human well-being and the ability to flourish is only possible when we feel safe and secure in the world. When this basic need to feel safe is not met, our sympathetic nervous system is activated, and we default to and inhabit a “fight or flight” stress response. In flight-fight, anything not essential for immediate survival is turned off—this includes the immune system, the digestive system, the human growth and reproductive systems. When these systems are turned off for too long, or are turned on and off too frequently, they break down, leading to the illnesses of modernity: diabetes, heart disease, infertility, obesity, anxiety, depression, autoimmune diseases, sleep disorders, and on.
This activated stress response can lead to detrimental changes in the structure of the brain and negatively impact emotional regulation, attention, concentration, and memory. Psychologically, when in the stress response, we pre-consciously sense our very survival is at stake, and in this activated state, the natural state of being open, relaxed, and receptive is not available to us. Instead, we are vigilant and tense, psychologically defensive and contracted. In