Are you someone who gives your emotions and physical sensations too much power? It's quite habitual for many to get swept up in the tide of strong feelings and emotions. Sometimes the tide rolls in without warning—fast and fierce—leaving you feeling distressed and emotionally dysregulated. The fierce and familiar nature of these emotional storms are a familiar response for you, and also confusing. Confusing because it feels like it’s happening in the here and now, and it may be to some extent, but it may also have roots in the there and then or long ago. That’s how triggers work, and that’s how one can get swept away.

Emotions can feel strong, and even overwhelm, but remember, you are NOT your emotions. To increase your self-esteem and sense of agency, notice when powerful feelings arise within you. Notice this experience and be curious about what may have triggered this in you. You can even direct your attention to your body. What do you notice? Where do you feel it? Is it okay to just notice and stay with the feeling and emotion a little longer without responding? You might typically say "I can’t do this, I'm completely overwhelmed." Try a reframe by saying "I feel completely overwhelmed." How does this simple shift help?

By understanding that "overwhelm" is a feeling, and that you can pause, tolerate, ride it out and ultimately survive, your life will improve. The tide does not need to take you down or cause destruction, you can learn the ride the wave. This technique is DBT speak for learning to “ride the wave.” Feelings are temporary states; they are transitory in nature. Feelings pass. Learn more about this important DBT distress tolerance skill surfing here. The psychological impact of this strategic shift can change your life.