Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
Therapy And Support For Deeply-Feeling People
For as long as you can remember, others have labeled you as “too shy” or “too sensitive.” It sure doesn’t feel good to hear this, but it does describe your reality on the daily. Thinking about it, you’ve always felt alone, or very different. You may be more reactive than most to the moods of others, criticism can feel especially hostile, external stimuli and energy drains you. These are just a few examples of what it’s like as a Highly-Sensitive Person (HSP), also known as deep-feelers, neurodivergent individuals and Sensory-Processing Sensitivity (SPS). Navigating a noisy, demanding world as a highly-sensitive person can be disabling for many especially as you attempt to accommodate and manage the accompanying anxiety and depression. But remember, sensitive folks have great gifts. They tend to experience high levels of perceptivity and intuition, empathy and super-attunement, and even high levels of creativity. Sometimes, your exquisite sensitivity feels like a gift; it can also feel like a curse. Please know that you are not alone and you do not need to suffer in silence.
On Well-Being
Human well-being and the ability to flourish is only possible when we feel safe and secure in the world. When this basic need to feel safe is not met, our sympathetic nervous system is activated, and we default to and inhabit a “fight or flight” stress response. In flight-fight, anything not essential for immediate survival is turned off—this includes the immune system, the digestive system, the human growth and reproductive systems. When these systems are turned off for too long, or are turned on and off too frequently, they break down, leading to the illnesses of modernity: diabetes, heart disease, infertility, obesity, anxiety, depression, autoimmune diseases, sleep disorders, and on.
This activated stress response can lead to detrimental changes in the structure of the brain and negatively impact emotional regulation, attention, concentration, and memory. Psychologically, when in the stress response, we pre-consciously sense our very survival is at stake, and in this activated state, the natural state of being open, relaxed, and receptive is not available to us. Instead, we are vigilant and tense, psychologically defensive and contracted. In
Mental Health Recovery Is Not Linear
Mental health recovery and trauma recovery is not a linear process, and thinking that it should be only creates more shame and defeat. As you walk the path of healing, It’s important to remember that…
the grief process is not linear
mental health recovery is not linear
addiction recovery is not linear
healing a broken heart is not linear
trauma processing is not linear
learning to set healthy boundaries is not linear
self-growth in therapy and counseling is not linear
Be kind to YOU and offer yourself compassion and grace every time you stumble or fall. This is how you heal.
EMDR Therapy For Deeper Healing
Whether you’re researching EMDR because you find yourself unable to fly or visit the dentist, or you have suffered a traumatic event, EMDR can help you heal and move forward with your life. I am a trauma-trained specialist which means that I utilize this powerful method of healing whenever possible. I’ve trained in many modalities, and stray occasionally, but I always return to EMDR, because it is powerfully effective and transformative for my patients. EMDR is a cutting-edge, evidence-based trauma treatment that can free you from emotional and relational patterns of suffering. The effects of trauma, including anxiety, depression, PTSD, addictions, suicidal thoughts and dysfunctional relationships can be impactful and debilitating. Most who have attempted to resolve trauma through therapy would agree that traditional talk therapy is not always helpful. As an integrative psychotherapist in New York City, I offer an integrative approach using EMDR while blending other forms of highly-effective therapies into sessions. In addition to EMDR, I often utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Somatic Experiencing (SE) to help unearth the root cause of anxiety, depression, addictions and trauma-related symptoms. I’ve had success using this integrative approach with my patients.
Imagery For Mind-Body-Spirit Health
Guided Meditation is a resource for relaxation and a type of focused meditation to help create calm and ease in the mind and body. With this technique for relaxation, you concentrate on an image, place, object, sound, or experience that feels soothing or grounding, offering refuge from your daily stressors, settling your nervous system. The goal is to promote a calm state in the mind and body through relaxation and mindfulness. Your nervous system should begin to follow your thoughts and reset. You may have noticed that if you think about stressful events, you experience tension in your body, your mind may race and heart rate and blood pressure follow. If you train yourself to take moments in your day to focus your awareness on something pleasant, your mind and body will relax. You may notice less tension in your body and a sense of ease. Having a practice such as guided imagery can help you better handle your daily stressors and develop a sense of vitality and resilience.
Stress Less, Live Better
Stress is present for all of us, especially when we live and work in busy cities like Manhattan and attempt to manage the demands of work-life balance. Chronic, unrelenting stress can affect one's physical and mental health—we have the science to prove this. Stress also regularly shows up in the body as pain and other symptoms, in addition to accelerated aging. Unmanaged stress can lead to insomnia and memory problems, increase one's risk of heart disease, have an impact on diabetes and arthritis, contribute to the development of eczema and autoimmune disorders, and even lead to reduced resistance and immune system depression.
Changing habits and negative thoughts can be a challenge for most of us, but with stress management support, it is possible to eliminate the old and adopt healthier, health-sustaining habits. Those who have a difficult time coping with stress on their own often turn to unhealthy ways of coping such as food, substances and behavioral addictions, which then leads to what seems to be a never-ending cycle of shame, leading to more unhealthy ways coping.
Essential Oils For A Balanced Life
For nearly two decades, I have received the benefits of essential oils in my health and well-being and at home. I continue learning and refining my understanding of these healing plants and their chemistry, and how they powerfully assist healing and balance. Essential oils can be used for a range of physical and emotional wellness applications, either single oils or complex blends all have an impact at the cellular level. Many integrative therapists and wellness practitioners artfully add aromatherapy to enhance their yoga, ayurvedic or Reiki practice. Essential oils are usually administered by one of three methods: diffused aromatically, applied topically, or taken internally as dietary supplements. I love these oils and use them daily in my life and to enhance my personal yoga practice.
About Therapy For Phobias
As a NYC psychotherapist in private practice, I treat people who struggle with phobias. Phobias are a common form of psychological disorder and distress. Generally defined as irrational fears about objects or situations, people tend to see their phobias as unreasonable, but feel incapable of giving up the fear or confronting the situation head on. Not all phobias are severe enough to impact the quality of one's life, but some are. There are many ways to treat a phobia, and some treatment methods are much more effective than others. Most people have certain things or situations that create discomfort, but are still able to carry on with the daily activities of life. Individuals with phobias or a specific phobia have intense, irrational fears, and will experience great distress that disrupts their life, avoiding the object or situation altogether. Phobias can be categorized into three types: Simple, or situational, social phobias and agoraphobia.
Coping With Relationship Heartbreak
Breakups are painful. The reasons for the relationship split seem to matter less than the fact that your world has changed and all kinds of uncomfortable feelings and emotions are being triggered. You can learn from this experience and come through it wiser and stronger, and hopefully, with a heart open enough to receive love and hope for the future. As a NYC psychotherapist in private practice, struggling after a break up is a common reason people seek counseling and therapy.
Even though the relationship no longer works, why do breakups hurt so much? When marriages or relationships end, it is not just about grieving the loss of the connection, but the end of shared hopes and dreams. Hope is an important aspect of early romantic relationships. Couples mourn the hope for the future as well as the commitment of shared goals and dreams.
Other important losses include one's identity, physical and sexual intimacy, shared hobbies and interests, relationships with friends and extended family, a physical move or the sale of a home, financial stability, individual and shared responsibilities, and if children are involved, a significant disruption in their lives.
Starting over can be scary. It is normal to wonder if you will ever find love or another partner again as well as other future uncertainties. Many feel that staying with what they know, even if it's an unhappy partnership, is better than being alone. It's important to remind yourself, that it is possible to move on to find happiness either alone or with someone else. Healing takes time and recovery requires patience and treating yourself with kindness and compassion.
Calm Discussions, Cool Heads
Couples or those working with others in partnerships or other kinds of relationship dyads often need skills and tips on how to enter a discussion, and the best strategies for keeping it calm, and ultimately successful. Beginning an important discussion can be fraught with conflict, apprehension and fear. What follows are some simple tips to keep the conversation constructive. While the goal might be to make a point, have your point taken seriously, right a wrong or solve a problem, many conversations devolve into screaming matches. What follows are some simple communication pointers to keep important discussions from spiraling out of control.
Essential Oil Therapy As Medicine
Essential oil therapy can be used for a range of physical and emotional wellness applications, either single oils or complex blends all have an impact at the cellular level. Many integrative therapists, EMDR therapists, somatic psychotherapists and wellness practitioners artfully add essential oil therapy to enhance their trauma release sessions, yoga therapy and Reiki practices.
Essential oils are usually administered by one of three methods: diffused aromatically, applied topically, or taken internally as dietary supplements. I love these oils and use them daily in my life and to enhance my personal yoga practice. When choosing oils, it’s important to work with a company that offers pure therapeutic grade and optimally-sourced Oils.
How do we get oils quickly into the system? Through the olfactory nerve, to the pineal, pituitary, amygdala. When you breathe an oil into the system, and through the nasal cavity, it is first picked up by the neurons in the olfactory system, between the eyes at the top of the sinus cavity. Those oil molecules are carried within milliseconds into the center of the brain. Research has shown that the inhalation of Essential Oils into the mid-brain system will cause a secretion of antibodies, as well as endorphins and neurotransmitters. This process directly impacts the immune system in positive ways.
Engage Your Vagus Nerve To Experience Enhanced Relaxation And Restorative Sleep
Concerns about the long-term impact of chronic stress, depression, anxiety and sleep deprivation is a topic of concern for many of my coaching and therapy clients. A few stressful, sleepless nights can easily spiral into a regular problem as clients begin to develop a negative relationship with bedtime and sleep. In the field of medicine and psychology we call this psychophysiologic insomnia or learned insomnia. Many will seek the help of a psychiatrist to obtain prescription medications in an effort to break the cycle. Not a bad option in the short-term, but less than ideal as a long-term solution.
Most mental health professionals who work with insomnia will always recommend lifestyle modifications and attempts at simple changes in the environment first. Before we move to information about engaging your vagus nerve and the relaxation response, let's clear the path to create an optimal environment for sleep.
Nurse, Heal Thyself
(by Kim Seelbrede, originally posted on urbanzen.org)
As snowflakes shimmered against the backdrop of the mountains, student nurses from around the country gathered to participate in the 59th annual National Student Nurses Association (NSNA) convention held in Salt Lake City. Urban Zen Integrative Therapy (UZIT) sessions were offered to the student nurses in The Sanctuary, which was generously provided by Johnson & Johnson. This sublime healing space allowed many nurses to experience, for the first time, the exquisite healing modalities offered by the Urban Zen Integrative Therapists. Introducing nurses to the concept of self-care was our mission; powerful, moving and comforting were but a few of the words participants used to describe their restorative sessions.
Maintaining calm in the chaos was no easy feat as hundreds of nurses waited patiently for their sessions. Once inside the soothing environment, students were given permission to “let go and receive” the self-care techniques
Reclaim Your Identity By Healing Your Trauma
We continue to learn about the impact of trauma, and what we do know is that trauma changes the brain. We also know that the brain has tremendous capacity to heal and re-wire. As you continue to think, talk, re-tell and act on your experience(s), you reinforce your attachment to what happened, which exacerbates your symptoms and you loop on the upsetting memory and trauma responses. The goal of successful trauma healing is to free your nervous system from the patterns of trauma symptoms and regain freedom so you can move forward with your life and dreams.
The body is designed to heal. We now know that the brain has an amazing capacity to heal by creating new neural pathways. This process is called neuroplasticity. When people are finally able to regain control over their thoughts, behaviors, responses and lives, the brain's limbic system, parasympathetic and vagus nerve system can normalize.
Try A Little Mindfulness In Your Daily Life
Many of my therapy and coaching clients are interested in learning holistic ways to reduce and manage the symptoms of anxiety, depression, addictions and eating disorders, and many in particular, are interested in some form of meditation. They are often motivated by media stories or recent studies that document the proven benefits of meditation, and are interested in natural ways to gain symptom relief. Peer review studies are confirming that this approach, in addition to specific lifestyle modifications is a highly effective approach to managing and controlling anxiety, panic disorder and mild depression.
As a psychotherapist trained in traditional and non-traditional methods, I have always encouraged interested clients to give non-traditional techniques such as meditation and mindfulness a try. Many are unwilling, for a variety of reasons, to use medication, and for clients with this orientation, using a multi-modal approach combining cognitive therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), EMDR therapy and mindfulness meditation can provide much needed relief.
Successful Couples Do (And Don’t Do) These Things
Couples who create successful and mutually satisfying relationships often have a formula for success. These dynamic couples have some important skills, and consistently make thoughtful, conscious choices that lead to enhanced closeness and connection.
They do (and don’t do) certain things, which is why they enjoy a stable and robust relationship. John and Julie Gottman of the Gottman Institute, known for their extensive relationship research, would call these smart couples "masters" of relationships.
If you desire a dynamic and loving relationship, you may want to consider being mindful of the following elements that create a loving and successful relationship.
Let's begin with what NOT to do:
DBT Skills: Observe Your Thoughts, Reduce Your Anxiety
Find a comfortable spot to sit, either seated or lying down. Take a moment to focus on softening your body and releasing any tension in your shoulders. Close your eyes.
Focus your attention on your breathing. Observe what it feels like to be in your body, in this moment, as you slowly breathe in and then breathe out. As you spend a few minutes here, Imagine that you are riding the wave of your own breath. You feel safe.
Next, shift your attention to your thoughts. Begin to notice your thoughts, remembering that they are just thoughts. Nothing to do in this moment but simply observe. If you'd like, you can imagine that your thoughts pass by on a cloud, or perhaps, these thoughts are gently carried along on a stream.
No need to chase them away or hold on to them. Simply watching. They may even disappear on their own. If you find that you've become fixated on a particular thought or demand, notice how or what took you away from just observing and noticing, then gently bring your attention back to awareness and any thoughts. It's normal to find yourself becoming stuck with a thought. Your only task is to bring your awareness back to observation.
Lifestyle Changes To Reduce Chronic Pain, Inflammation And Depression
As a holistic psychotherapist in New York City, I'm always curious about the exquisite interplay between the mind and body, especially when patients present with symptoms that overlap. Women and men alike who seek therapy or consultation frequently report symptoms that seem to overlap with depression such as: fatigue, lethargy, insomnia, body aches, and sleep disturbances, decreased social activity, lethargy, decreased libido, appetite changes, and anhedonia. The picture, and the treatment plan, for these individuals is not always immediately clear. As a society, we are quick to prescribe an antidepressant or medication ignoring the root cause of suffering. Psychotherapists, when they are oriented to a mind-body connection, are in a perfect position to take a comprehensive approach to helping clients improve both emotional and physical well being. And this is where a holistic psychotherapist can help you heal along 10 or so mutually interdependent dimensions: emotional, environmental, financial, intellectual, physical, professional, sexual, social, health and cultural. Every aspect of wellness can affect a person's life.
What do we know about depression and chronic inflammation? Studies show a link between depression and inflammation that is bidirectional, that is, depression contributes to inflammatory responses in the body and inflammatory processes promotes depression. Inflammation is present in a number of disorders and systemic diseases, including: diabetes, metabolic syndrome, cardiovascular disease, rheumatoid arthritis, multiple sclerosis, asthma, chronic pain, and psoriasis. These chronic health conditions also put individuals at an increased risk for depression, according to The American Journal of Psychiatry.
Your To-Do List Is Making You Miserable
While reading this thoughtful article from Lifehacks, I was reminded of how much pride we take in our daily to-do lists and particularly the emphasis our society puts on productivity. Busy, busy people we are, and especially, successful, hyper-productive New Yorkers who thrive on getting it done. But what if states-of-being like happiness or feeling content could actually be achieved if you made a habit of practicing the not-to-do list more regularly? So many people reach out for therapy and counseling seeking a path to happiness. They rarely consider all the ways that their habits and patterns actually make make miserable. The post suggests that tallying up how much we actually do in our daily lives that makes us “unhappy” is a place to start. As you read the list of misery-making habits, ask yourself “how are these behaviors actually serving me?” That’s a goal of therapy for many—to get to the root of misery by unearthing the source of suffering, which leads to a less rigid and restrictive existence. Some helpful psychotherapy techniques to address anxiety, depression and problem patterns with your therapist are: Cognitive Therapy for depression; CBT to change behaviors; DBT to understand, regulate emotions, communicate effectively and learn more adaptive coping skills; Mindfulness and (ACT) Acceptance Commitment Therapy to radically accept “what is” in your life and Psychodynamic/Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy to explore the unconscious should you care to. Please enjoy… Ten Recipes For Guaranteed Unhappiness - Lifehacks – Medium
Finding The Middle Path For Enhanced Life-Balance
Are you someone who tends to think in absolutes because ambivalence feels challenging? Ambivalence is the simultaneous existence of opposite feelings. Most of us dislike it because it is an uncomfortable state. We want to feel one way or the other about someone or something. Your life will improve greatly by learning to tolerate ambivalence and by using Middle Path as a guide. What follows are tips for individuals who struggle with extremes and "all or nothing" thinking:
1. Be open to seeing things from different angles. There can be many ways to solve a problem. Do some research and investigate how other people have solved similar problems. Who do you admire who may have some good skills in this area? Don't be afraid to ask for help.